The Nook, The Book, & The Hook

My husband and I just celebrated our anniversary. 11 years of blissful love...

Before the big day, my husband said I was going to like the gift he got for me. Many questions later, all I got out of him was that I had 14 days to decide if I liked it or not... and it's electronic...

When I opened my gift a few days later, after mentioning in passing conversation that I never wanted one of those reader thingies, that I love the feel of a real book in hand, I opened my gift - a Nook.

In all sincerity, I tried to act surprised, happy, and interested. He reminded me I had 14 days and if I didn't like it, we could return it. No hurt feelings. He's a guy. Enough said.

I went through the tutorial, almost, but I lost interest. He loves electronics and went about setting it up for me. And I did try to borrow some of his exuberance, yet walking around the house afterwards, seeing all my books strewn about on table tops, night stands, coffee tables, steps, in bathrooms, next to the pool, on the banister, I couldn't help but know in my heart of hearts that I was never going to fall in love with the Nook. It just didn't feel real.

My books, even the wide assortment I borrow from the library and have to give back after I've fallen in love with them, are like friends to me. I enjoy seeing books all around me, piled up, laying about.

And when I see any given one of them - like Real Cajun sitting on the table next to my laptop right now - I am instantly brought back into the past conversations we've had. And with each book, each friend, I have different conversations going on...

Real Cajun by Donald Link
Secrets to Happiness by Sarah Dunn
Effective Writing by Bruce Ross-Larson
Deeper by Megan Heart

These are the titles of my most current friends, and if you look into any of these books, you can see just how varied our conversations are! ;)

Point being, I love a real book. Love to lay them out, pile them high, anywhere along my path, so that in passing I'll see them again, maybe pick one up for a quick moment alone, maybe just daydream a bit about the story inside.

With the Nook, I just couldn't see myself able to do any of that. I'm a visual person. I need to have my books around me, in view. Or I feel I might loose out on that ongoing conversation, forget to pick up a good old friend that I haven't seen in a while because it's conveniently tucked away in some well organized list that I have to go find after turningg something on, recharging something.

It's just not real for me.

And that's what I said to the guy behind the counter when we went to return the Nook a few days later. Bored with it, I hadn't even registered it yet.

"But how do you know you're not going to like it if you don't even try?"

How do you explain to someone that I had already done so, in my head. I'm a writer. I can come up pretty quick whether or not a story line is going to work out. For me, I knew this one wouldn't.

"Most people who said they wouldn't like a reader LOVED it once they actually downloaded some books."

How do you explain to a sales person that you love FREE books from the library.

"But there are millions of free books that you can download into your NOOK!" This was said in a very my gosh, woman, aren't you stupid tone.

How do you explain that you don't CARE about those free books because you just want to happen upon a book at the library, book store, friends house, that looks good.

This was the hook that had caught my darling husband. He thought, frugal mama that I am, would love free books. And I do. I just don't want to have to do so on an electronic device that I have to charge, turn on, find my list, be bombarded with a list of a million books that I can read knowing full well I don't have enough time in my life to do so.

I just like what I like. I like real books.

"Wow. That's a shame." This, said not only by the Nook sales man behind the counter, but also three other Barnes & Nobles workers nearby, listening in on our conversation.

Steadfast in my opinion - I'm in my thirties, I've brought two children into this world sans medical intervention, I've been married for 11 years, I've seen the worst and best life can hand you, and I'm still ticking - I'm allowed to have one. No matter that it doesn't help add to your sales commission or that I'm the only person on earth who thinks this way. I don't doubt myself. I like real books!

And, I've studied advertising psychology. I'm impervious to sales hooks.

So I returned the Nook, purchased a real book, and went home happy. I know plenty of people that are in love with their reader, and I'm happy for them. Everyone deserves to be happy.

How about you?

Do you love the book? The Nook? Both? Or are you still on the fence?

What hooks you?

Maybe sometime in the future I'll try the Nook again, see if it's really the best thing going.
But for now, I see one of my books out of the corner of my eye - one of my friends - calling to me, its book cover my favorite shade of turquoise blue... And maybe after that, I'll look for a good Cajun recipe for dinner tonight inside one of my new friends.

:)

I Must Write, Come Hell or High Water...

Or, in my case, come 10 consecutive days of 98 degree-90 percent humidity weather too hot for the kids to play outside, and for some odd reason now that it's summer vacation, the kids CAN wake up before 7AM and be UP and do on a daily basis. Up at 6, sometimes 5am. During the summer...hello!

But...STILL, I must write. Only question is, when??? My writing time - the time when I get to write UNinterrupted (I've been interrupted 3 times so far during this one sentence now) - is between the hours and 5 and 7AM. Most days I wake up at 5AM to write. Other days I write at night, after I've taken care of everything and everyone all day. Except I've never been much of a night owl. Especially now. For some reason my insomnia stopped (that's how I wrote the book in the first place!) and now I'm exceptionally tired by 10pm. It's very odd. I've never slept well before in my life, never been able to fall asleep. Now, it seems all I can do IS sleep...maybe I'm just catching up...

For some other strange reason, I love to wake up early in the morning to write. It doesn't work every day, particularly after a night of the kids tag-teaming me, one waking up right after the other, only for another to wake up once I get the other back to bed, all night long... On those days I fail miserably to get moving in the AM.

Life, health, drama...time!!! Darn it, I need to finish my book. But when, where, how?!

This is how...

Maybe if I write it down, here, for all the world to see (myself included) I will keep to the strict schedule of writing/editing daily. I've been able to do it before (insomnia days of the past). If you need to, write it down for yourself too.

COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, I must finish this book this summer.

I, Lia Mack, will wake up at 5am to write. I will not allow anyone to interrupt me until 7am. There are books, cereal, toys galore in this house. They (my kids) are old enough to entertain themselves and I MUST finish this book. Period. Plus, no one needs to be awake so early in the morning. Therefore they can either go back to bed or read quietly on the couch. I am not available between the hours of 5 and 7am. I repeat, I am not available until after 7am.

(For a give-all person like myself, I've never been selfish with my time, so I know this is going to be hard. But I have to do it. I have to. If I keep saying it to myself, I might just do it...No, I take that back. I WILL do it. I have to.)

IF, for some reason (which I have yet to understand) I am woken up over and over again all night long and I am not able to rise and shine at 0500 hours, I will set aside two consecutive hours somewhere in my day, probably at 2200 hours or later. Too bad that I'm tired. I, Lia Mack, need to finish this book. Period.

Ok, so there it is, my scheduled in writing time goal thingy. Written for all, myself included, to see. If need be, I will pop in a movie once a week so the kids will be preoccupied and I can write during the day. Wow, writing with my wits about me, during the day...can it be done?

I have someone who wants to see a finished product in October. Therefore I need to complete my final edits by at least August so I can go over it, shall I need to, one last time again, to polish and shine.

I know how to edit. I just can't seem to rub together any amount of consecutive time without being pulled out of my alternate writing universe by little people screaming, crying, throwing a fit because he touched my book, she moved my Lego, trips to the library, trips the park, trips the grocery store, laundry, my sister won't play chess right, my brother took off my dolls clothes again, I got to go potty and can't undo my belt, I'm hungry, he bumped me, she punched me, the dog peed on the carpet, the dog brought a dead squirrel in the house again, grandma needs a ride to the airport, dinner is burning, there are five fire trucks outside and my mother-in-law is coming over in five minutes...yep, I have time to write, as I'm sure you do to ;)

BUT, come hell or high water, we'll get it done. We will. We will...

Write First, Worry Later...

There has been tons of talk lately in my little writing world about the woes of publishing. About how hard it is to get an agent to even talk to you, let alone find one that will think about reading your work. And I agree. There is much to worry about when it comes to getting your work published.

Yet...Why worry until you have to?

I mean, look at all the fun you are missing! Have you written your book yet? If not, write! If so, is it really ready, or do you still need to do edits? If so, edit, baby, edit. Why stop yourself short to worry your life's passion away?

Write, damn you, write! This is what I say to myself every now and then... ;)

There is this great Native American saying that goes like this... Don't worry until you have to worry. Do you know how freeing that is? To live, write, free from worry. I do it everyday and I love it.

And really, why bother with worrying anyway? It's such a waste of time. Think about it, yes. Do some research when you want to take a look-see, ok. But that's it. Nothing more than that. Don't get yourself all worked up until you have to. Period. Never know. You might get lucky your first go around. So why worry now?

If I hadn't stopped getting trapped by the worry bug, I would have never started to write. And if I never started to write, I wouldn't have a book to show for it now. Thankfully I did stop, and I did write, and I do have a book done!

So, if you're stuck in the worry mode, stop! Stop worrying away your days. Start writing. The only way to write a book is to...write a book! No magic wands here.

Don't worry until you have to. And who's to say that there will be any need for worry in the end anyway? For now, just write. Write first, worry later. Live free and write. Let this be your lesson for the day.

:)

Celebrating the Breeze!

I'd like to dedicate this blog post to one of my writer buddies, Carolyn Parsons. Not only has Carolyn (aka: Breeze) published her fist book (ya!)...today is also her Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Breeze!!! :)

If you haven't already, check out her book, Wind Rhymes: Poetry from the Breeze. It's a wonderful compilation of inspirational and practical poetry. Every time I read one of her poems, I feel empowered and lifted, ready to be the change I want to see in the world ;)

Carolyn also turned me onto a free writing course online that I just started. F2K: Fiction Writing for the New Millennium. I'll tell you more about the class once I finish my first assignment (they are small writing assignments given on Wed, due the following Wed, then you submit and critique others and they critique you.) To me, that sounded like fun!

If you're a writer and have yet to find some writing buddies to hang out with - on or off line - get some!!! We're an interesting lot, which means we need to get together with like minded folk once in a while to feel, well, normal ;)

I am very honored to have Carolyn as one of my writer buddies and call her my friend. It's great fun being able to talk openly about characters talking in our head, killing darlings, and building pent houses... Who else could I do that with? ;)

So, here's to the Breeze. Have a great Birthday! And congratulations on your new book :)

Where Do You Write? Creating a Writing Sanctuary...

It doesn't have to be big. It doesn't even have to be a room. And, contrary to popular belief (or want) it doesn't even have to segregate you from the rest of the world. Of course we'd all love to have that perfect little hideaway, secluded from noise and distraction.

"There, and only there, will I write my masterpiece..."

But where you write best sometimes doesn't come with it's own key.

I know I used to have one such place. Although it was situated in the belly of the house, my 'office' had a desk, carpeting, a window, and...drum roll please...a door. With a LOCK!!! No heat...but it was mine... whenever I could carve away even the tiniest amount of time alone to write.

One hour, one day, one minute....one minute....one minute...half a minute....

Except, more times than not, the moment I sat down with my hot cup of tea and vanilla-lavender candle a glow, someone needed me. Or someone popped in the door crying and screaming about this and that...

"He touched my toy!" the three year old cried.

"She hit me!" the five year old cried.

"My wife left me!" the thirty-five year old cried. "Oh, wait. There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" kiss, hug love... "The kids need you, honey."

Suffice to say, my room away from it all wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I hardly ever had more than ten continuous minutes to rub together. And when it takes me thirty minutes to 'get there', aka: into the story, ten ten minute increments of solitude a day isn't enough to eek out an outline, let alone an entire novel.

Surrendering, I took to the dining room table with my laptop. Or if the kids were downstairs, down to the table next to the play area. Outside on the patio table after a good amount of playing and gardening with the kids. Laptop open, manuscript ready, there I sat. Totally open. Totally available. Totally in the middle of things. My novel, my life as I only dreamed it, doomed...

But you know what?

By being out in the open...everyone leaves me alone more! I don't know if they only felt like they had to seek me out before when I was locked away by myself. Maybe it made them feel uncomfortable to have mommy out of the loop, unavailable for boo boo kisses and such. I don't know...kids, husbands...you know how they are ;) Now, when I sit down to write right where they are, they don't come looking for me.

Yes, I still get interrupted. Yes, I still have to stop mid-sentence to help locate a MIA toy or make a snack. For some reason, since I'm writing in the middle of the mix, when I do get asked to stop short and switch gears, I don't loose it, (aka: get taken out of my story) as much. My thinking process isn't stopped as much being out in the open, in the middle of things, as it did when I was totally immersed in solitude.

Maybe that's just it.

Perhaps creating a writing sanctuary doesn't have to involve candles, closed doors, and a window with a view. It just has to be 'where you write', whether it be the kitchen table or with no table at all.

Where do you write? How do you deal with the distractions and interruptions? Do you wait until everyone's gone to bed? Or carve out an hour or two on the weekend?

Ever since I left my room to write at the dining room table - an hour here, twenty minutes there, where I can hear and see everything going on around me - I feel as though I've not only written more consistently, but I've written better, as I can write everyday if I want. I don't need to wait for the perfect moment when everyone in the family has been taken care of and everything in the house is done. I can just say, "Hey, they don't need me for the next half hour. I think I'm going to write a little bit."

And I do.

;)

Numbers...Do They Mean Anything?

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a specialist that I've been waiting since October to see. It's a very important appointment, one that has me biting my nails and wondering if I'm ready. But what is really bothering me, though, are the numbers.

311

Why? Try this one on for size...

My appointment is on 3/11 at 11am.
Address of the doctor's office is 311.
Phone number's last four digits? 3113.

Tell me that's not interesting...odd...scary...

So, anyone? What does that mean? Does it mean I made the appointment with the right doc? That there will be nothing found? That I might win a lottery I don't even want to be playing???

Here's to hoping the Universe is saying something good with these numbers...I'll let you know how it goes...

...

Deadlines, Editing, and My Unofficial Query Letter....UNofficial...

So, I totally blew my self-imposed deadline of March 23rd to have finished all edits and send out my first query letter. Death, taxes, 6 feet of snow, and the Olympics...all things totally unrelated, yet all things I've allowed to stray me away from my goal.

Therefore I'm imposing a more SANE deadline of "by summer", and this gives me time to polish and shine my query letter. A few weeks ago I polished and shined my "one sentence" pitch of my novel, and I am happy to say that I LOVE IT! No need to edit any further. Next step now, is to start with the paragraph synopsis of what happens in the novel, beginning to end, leaving nothing out...

How the hell?!?! The whole book, explained in detail, in one paragraph!?!?!?

Enter, the query letter...

Whether you snail mail or email an agent, you need to formulate one hell of a kick ass query letter to not only GET their attention, but also KEEP their attention.

I took a quick crack at swallowing my entire novel into one horribly written paragraph, just to see if I could manage to get all the major points in there (NOTE: there is much work to be done on this...the following is just for fun). But I did manage to capture the darkness of the novel, and then show that it all turns bright by the end. I think for me this will be my biggest challenge. I can't leave out the fact that my MC is a bit of a nut case in the beginning (of course 'nut case' by normal standards. I think she's fine, just needs a little TLC...we've bonded ;)

So, without further delay, here is one horribly written query for my amusement only (and yours too, I hope ;).

My novel opens with a past rape scene, moves forward to the present, where you see my MC living with the after effects of an abusive past, she goes to therapy, you are inside her head, see her odd living style, hear voices, all sorts of strangeness, until she breaks free from it all and finds a way to heal, finds her courage again, finds herself again...then she meets someone, falls in love, has a normal life, albeit there are still triggers from her past, some of which threaten to suck her back down into that deep black hole...but she's a new woman now, has tools to help her stay in her present and deal with her past, and she moves on and up and it's great at the end!

Phew!

That is one long run-on sentence ;)

Yet, somehow, I feel one tiny small step closer to my goal...Feel free to leave a link to your own horrible one paragraph synopsis!

;)

Sanity Check...Keeping Your Characters at a Distance

If you follow this blog, then you know I've written a novel, and I'm now in the process of editing it, start to finish. Although Waiting for Paint to Dry is a fictional work in it's entirety, it also has significant elements that ring true to my personal life, past. This brought up some great questions concerning the repercussions of doing so, mainly what other people will find out and how you will feel about them knowing these true details of your life.

Since writing Waiting for Paint to Dry and successfully finishing the first draft, I re-lived my real life events during the beginning stage of the novel. It was a rather cathartic undertaking, dissecting and examining those events and myself at that time, but it turned out to be one that had tremendously positive results for both my book and my psyche.

HOWEVER, there was something that I hadn't considered as a side effect of including those true life events, until recently. Although editing has improved my book to the point of publish ready, it has also incurred a dramatic negative effect on me, to my psyche.

The editing process...

I didn't realize that by going back through the chapters, beginning to end, I would again be brought face to face with the demons that I have already conquered. Although I worked through the healing process in real life long ago, then again while writing out the first draft, my character, Matty Bell, will forever live in still life.

Flip the book open to any page, and that's where she's at, at the moment. She's forever stuck. She doesn't move forward unless you read on.

At the beginning of the book, my main character has yet to over come anything. And since her emotions are so raw, so real, I've had to relive and relive and relive the roller-coaster with her, while I edited and edited and edited the first few chapters. They are dark ones, reader be forewarned.

And because I was in the trenches, again, with her, it took me a good long while to notice that her internal turmoil was effecting me. For a while there, I felt as though the events that took place in my own life, that I've weaved into my novel, were happening all over again...and again...and again.

And I felt stuck too! I haven't felt like that in years. Stuck in the past. I was again reliving the moments, not being able to stop thinking about them, talk about them, like I was at the beginning of my own healing process all over again...

The moment I finished editing chapter 3, its final run of edits, I finally pinpointed my problem: I was feeling stuck because I was reliving the trauma by reading and editing it so many times over. It was all coming back to life.

Needless to say, I started with a few mantras right then and there, reminding me that this happened a long time ago, and that I'm a new person now. And better for it.

Although I feel sorry for Miss Matty Bell, she too will be fine, soon. I just have to edit on so I can bring her to the place of healing that I've come to know and love.

And that will happen soon. Very soon...

I'm so excited and relieved to get beyond the dark shadows of my book. I'm now moving on into the lighter pigments, which cast a beautiful glow. I like the sound of that side effect.

The rest of the book, after she gets going, is a fun ride for sure, reader be ready!

Then, in the end, she... Well, you'll have to read it for yourself to find out.

:)

Food Snobbery on a Budget...

Hi, my name is Lia Mack, and I'm a food snob.

I blame my parents for having us live in Italy for three years while I was growing up. Every Friday morning, the town we lived in held an open air market - mercato - where you could purchase anything and everything fresh.

Fresh fish from the sea, fresh artichokes picked that morning, homemade pastas that took two seconds to cook...and eat ;) Oh, and let's not forget the cheese wagon. Every Wednesday at the same exact time, a man pulling a cart of cheese wheeled down our street singing, "formaggio... mozzarelli... provelone..."Now that's a real cheese wagon :)

So I got mega used to eating whole fresh foods...and fell in LOVE! There is no beating the taste of a ripe red tomato mixed with fresh basil, straight from the garden. I think that's why everything tastes so much better in Italy. Everything is fresh and local. So what if I couldn't drink the water or that the heat and electricity went off daily at 3pm because someone had to go home for siesta. I was in food heaven!!!

And then we moved back to the States - God love America - where there is a grocery store open daily on almost every corner. Only thing, most of the food available here comes in a box. Or a plastic bag. Or worse! And it's not fresh. It's not even local!

Oh, the horror!!!

Well, fast forward to today. I'm married to super conservation man and together we are raising two amazing little greenies. I've been a stay at home mom for six years and have not one thing in my life to complain about. Nothing, that is, except my food budget. It's tight. Living on one income in a very expensive part of the country and being able to buy good whole food that is fresh, organic, and local is difficult to say the least. But it's doable. And for a while there I was doing pretty good.

For the last two years, however, I've been feeling the pinch. Food prices continue to rise, utilities are still going up, and gas is expensive.

Yet, I still want to be able to feed my family well, but wanting to buy and eat only organic, local, fresh foods can be quite costly. I know of one local mom who spent over 17K last year in food alone because they ONLY eat local, organic, fresh meats, cheeses, fruit, vegs, ect.... That's a lot of money.

Of course I could easily manage to buy all sorts of shit food (pardon my language) with my food budget. I could feed my family from the box and dollar menu and have money left over! But I'm a food snob, remember? I cannot eat that stuff. Ingredients I can't pronounce? Food that doesn't even look or taste anything like food? Packaged, frozen, processed, freeze dried disgustingness???

Oh no. Not me, baby. Not after eating REAL food. It's just not possible.

Plus, I don't want my kids eating shit - crap - either. We are what we eat. When we eat crap, we feel like crap and therefore act like crap. And I'm not interested in taking care of kids who act up all the time and get sick all the time because they are being fed crappy food.

So, having very little wiggle room in the budget, but wanting only the best (what mom doesn't?), I've learned how to get most everything we need (aka: I want) on the budget we have. It's fun being a food snob. You just have to find a way to do it when you don't have endless amounts of the green stuff lying around. Below are some of the things I do to get what I want, thus enabling me to eat really yummy good for me food all the time

I don't do all my shopping in one place.
Some things at my main grocery store are too expensive, yet elsewhere they aren't. Took me a while to scout out all the good deals, but now I know that by going to three separate stores on a rotation, I can come home with a lot more of what I want for less $.

I garden.
I grow tomatoes and herbs and carrots and potatoes and all sorts of yumminess :) By doing so, I control what goes in and on my food. The kids have their own garden plots too, and we spend a good deal of time with our beloved Mother Earth to keep it going. After the cost of seeds, what we reap is free. FREE! Best price ever :)

I go to Farmer's Markets.
And stock up. What I find for good deals, I buy bunches of and freeze what we're not eating that week. Frozen blueberries, frozen green beans, frozen anything. Tastes great when picked and stored at peek season. Nothing better than pulling out veggies in the dead of winter that you bought fresh and know where they came from. Tastes great.

I buy in bulk.
When I can, I save up and buy staples in bulk. Flour, sugar, pasta, rice... This year I'm buying 1/4th of a bison and a neighbor of ours who likes to hunt is getting us a deer. Who knows how long this supply of meat will last, especially since we only eat meat two to three times a week. (Meat is pricey) This, of course, will happen after I find an inexpensive deep freezer on Craigslist (anyone have one they don't want?)

I do without.
Yes, you heard it. We don't buy pop (soda). The kids drink juice once a day and that's it, if that. Instead we drink water, H2O, aqua fresca...you get the picture. Same thing with junk food. Since we don't eat it, we don't buy it, thus we save big bucks. And if it's not on sale and it's not in the budget, oh well. Better luck next time, right?

I stretch it.
I can make five meals out of one chicken. And that doesn't include the amount of chicken stock I make and use from the bones. So I might spend a little more buying an organic chicken - or A LOT more buying an organic local chicken - but I'll make that dollar stretch as much as possible. With a little ingenuity, you can think of ways to make anything stretch more than one meal.

Of course, all of this takes time, energy, and knowledge, something that most of us are hard pressed to find. But it CAN be done if you put in the work. The biggest benefit from all of this? You won't have to compromise. I don't. Just know that there will be times when you can't get the big ticket items, but that's fine. You don't have to have exactly what you want ALL the time, do you? My goal is to have good for us food only, and don't concern myself with specifics.

Everyone can be a food snob on a budget. All you have to do is learn to go with the flow, enjoy what's in season, and make the most of what you've got.

:)

Breastfeeding: How I Naturally Weaned My Babies...

The nursing relationship is just that - an intimate interaction, connection, between a mother and her child. It helps us bond, communicate needs, and transforms us into one beautiful little unit.

From the beginning, though, many people - friends, doctors, family - all like to interject their opinions on what you are doing. How many times have we heard, "you feed him too much" or "I don't think he's getting enough". What about, "don't you think it's about time to stop that now?"

Enter weaning.

Weaning doesn't have to be a tragic ending...

Ending your nursing relationship on a positive note can bring just as warm memories as the beginning did.

Although many people, whether informed or misinformed, mean well, the ending your nursing relationship is not up to them. It's up to you and your baby. And every nursing relationship is different! No two babies nurse the same, no two mom-child teams wean the same.

Weaning is a part of breastfeeding, but it doesn't have to be an abrupt, sad experience. Gradual, gentle weaning that respects the feelings and needs of both the mother and child can be a wonderful way to transition into the next phase of your ever growing relationship.

Here are my two weaning stories...

My Baby #1 :)

When my son was born, he started nursing within minutes. He 'army crawled' his way up to my chest, lifted his head, and latched himself on without any help! He knew what he wanted and how to get it :) We nursed beautifully for the next two years without a hitch (minus two nursing strikes, but we worked through them! More on that later.)

When I became pregnant with my daughter, I was still nursing my son, who had just turned two. Although he was only nursing occasionally during the day and to sleep, he was in NO WAY near ready to wean. And I didn't want to push him to either. So I let him nurse whenever he liked during his busy days, which was sometimes only once or twice a day by that point, and to sleep. He was an active toddler ;)

Except, as it is for some women, nursing while pregnant can sometimes become really painful and irritating. The moment he latched on, instead of a rush of bliss and relaxation that I had always felt before, I was instantly climbing walls!

I was all for tandem nursing - nursing a toddler and an infant at the same time. I had read all the books and was excited to try it!...But nursing had become so uncomfortable for the both of us (you can't be a very nice mommy when you're flinching and grimacing), I sadly knew it was time to wean. My poor son would have loved to continue, and so would I! I fought it with everything I had, and was determined to keep going. But then he'd latch on and I'd hit the roof!

After two months of that, I decided to wean. But, instead of stopping instantly, which would have been great for my nipples, but stressful and cruel for my son, I wanted to naturally wean him. I slowly introduced the concept of "the baby is coming, and she needs the milkies now"... Least to say, my son was not amused!

He was not about to share his 'milkies'!

To help me naturally weaning, I used La Leche League's motto: do not offer, do not refuse. I also used mild distraction during the day (like outings, playdates, walks) and introduced daddy bed time (where daddy laid down with him and they went to sleep together, so no milkies from mommy) every other night, then increased it to two nights in a row, then three. This was all done very slowly, week by week, month by month, inch by inch. If I felt I was moving too fast, I'd pause the momentum until he was ok with moving on.

Over the course of the next four months, I gradually and gently removed night nursings first, followed by daytime nursings. This was fall. By the time Christmas rolled around, my son was down to nursing once or twice a week - and we all know the holidays can disrupt a nursing relationship with all that running around! By the new year we had weaned.

He wanted to do gymnastics and I had said that once he was ready to wean - be a big boy - he could do big boy gymnastics class. Of course it was a mommy-n-me class, but he still enjoyed it!

What really helped with his anxiety about the changes in our relationship was that I made sure to still snuggle him to sleep - with me falling asleep with him most times ;) And a lot of reassurance and cuddles during the day. I wanted him to know that mommy was going to be there no matter what. Yes, the milkies were gone, but that didn't mean that what we had created together - our bond - was over.

Once he understood and felt confident that we were still a team, he seemed to latch onto the idea of weaning better and weaned himself over the last month, slowly, gradually, on his time. I know it wasn't totally 'on his time' as I started the process, but I was happy and willing to let him take his time and finish it on his own terms. For me, that was natural weaning at it's best.

My Baby #2 :)

Then I had my daughter that May!...and although we had a rocky start to our nursing relationship, we found what worked for us and had a wonderful nursing experience for the next 3 1/2 years! :)

My daughter is now 3 1/2...I can't believe it! And she just weaned herself. I knew she was my last baby, and I wanted her to have a more gradual natural weaning when our breastfeeding relationship was coming to a close. And since I'm not having any more babies :(, I won't get to breastfeed again. So this choice was simple: Keep going until she was done.

I did want to quit a few times over the last year and a half, but since it was a relationship between she and I, I decided I was ok with letting her call the shots. That's what's great about a nursing relationship. It's only between the two of you. Too bad if no one else agrees. It's not up to them ;)

Then I got sick, and still am. It's all a mystery. That initiated doctors, family members, and friends telling me that I HAD to stop nursing. "It's got to be a drain on your system" is what they were all saying. Doctors would prescribe me things to 'try' that weren't OK for nursing, which meant I had to stop. And I almost did, but I decided to continue nursing, not 'try' meds that I knew weren't going to work anyway, and I'm glad I did. My 'illness' had nothing to do with nursing.

I was very fatigued for weeks at a time and I had to night wean her. Thankfully she loves her thumb as much as her 'mees' (her word for milkies) so I thought it was going to be easy. Boy, was I wrong! She was very stubborn, and I caved every night. One little please was all it ever took :)

Although I was tired as he-double-hockey-sticks, I was glad that I did continue. I loved nursing her. She's a snuggle bug, just warms my heart. Plus, I'd always get the urge to completely wean her right around the winter time, which is stupid. All those germs, colds, flu...so I'd keep going and was glad for it.

Two winters ago, when she was about to turn two, I was toying with the idea of weaning her soon. Gradually start the process. But then my little peanut got sick and couldn't eat nor drink for 4 days. She couldn't even keep water down!

At that point she was only nursing once every three days or so. Well, during that stomach virus, she nursed every two hours for 4 days and was able to keep all the breastmilk down! Kept her hydrated, fed, and out of the hospital. On the night of the 4th day she demanded pizza, we ordered it, and she was better from then on! :) What would have happened, though, had I already weaned her? She couldn't even keep water down. She'd of been hospitalized for sure.

Now, for the past six months or so, she was nursing maybe once or twice a week. Sometimes once every other week. I couldn't believe the milk was still there even when she'd go two weeks without nursing! But it was still there, and whenever she wanted it, I did not refuse. LLL motto!

About a month ago I told her that once she was ready to stop nursing, she could have a prize. She choose big girl ballet/tap lessons ;) She just started and loves it!

As for me...well, I got a prize too!!! A new bra! Breastfeeding for the past 5 or so years, almost nonstop, I didn't have anything else other than nursing bras. My new bra? It's a black lacy number, and if you want to see it, just ask. I love it! I do ;) I feel like such a big girl myself! ha ha LOL...

Remember: Weaning doesn't have to be a tragic ending. Ending your nursing relationship on a positive note can bring just as warm memories as the beginning.

Have you weaned? Thinking about it? How did you do?

enjoy the snow (if you've got it) ladies!

Body After Baby...A Week in Chocolate...

Yep, that's what it was... a week in chocolate...

And fast food, Chinese take out, left over chips, chips and more chips, a dip in the hidden Halloween candy dish, midnight runs to the kitchen for more junk...Yep...I think that just about says it all...

Fatigue is a b*tch, ya'know? I just didn't have it in me to even cook for a few days running. It was all I could do to just keep up with the kids, the house, and do a bit of laundry. You know you're not doing well when laundry, where your sitting most of the time, kicks your ass. But then I started to feel better (that's the day I started eating chocolate....) and then I was able to find energy again.

However, where I faltered (and, oh, did I falter) I picked up elsewhere big time. I took daily walks, shoveled snow and went sledding, danced with my little girl, and overall had a very active week! And even though the fatigue hit me two days this week where I could barely do anything, I felt great and more energetic during a week that is usually a NO fun, ZERO energy week for me.

Maybe there's something here...maybe it was the chocolate...

Hmmm....something to consider for the future...

;)

Body After Baby, Week 2...

I gave it a try and succeeded to increase my activity level once last week. Not exactly a great start, but a start all the same ;)

My daughter and I danced to an entire CD in the living room. I actually worked up a sweat, and she had a lot of fun dancing in her princess dress. I also took the stairs and parked farther away than usual. This week will be interesting. I'm feeling a bit winded for no reason at all, so I'm doing what I can when I can.

Oh, and I did shovel snow! Not that that counts, but it was fun anyway ;) I love snow.

I don't believe that people need to work out like crazy to be in good health, shape. I think eating and sleeping habits help take care of your body too. If you don't put junk food in, you don't have to work double hard to 'work it off'. And getting the right amount of sleep helps your body repair and heal.

I did find a new favorite all day snack, something I can munch on all day: almonds. High in Calcium and crunchy, they're a great snack for us mamas.

So, my goal for this week?
Do more days of increased activity, aka: adding some sort of aerobic exercise in addition to what I normally do (kids, house, cook, clean, work, kids, house, cook, clean, work...) And, also continue to eat and sleep right. Have to get to bed by 10pm! Doctor's orders.

How did you do?

;)

Body After Baby Challenge: I'm Joining!

Ok, so I joined the challenge...I'm motivated...but do I have any goals that I'm hoping to reach? Hmm, I don't know...do I?

I should, because having goals keeps up the motivation. So, ok, goals. Think, Lia, think...

Alright, I got it!

I don't have a goal weight in mind and I already fit into my pre-baby jeans, so I think my goals are going to go beyond the norm. That's ok with me, I enjoy my freedom outside the box ;)

I think I'll organize my Body After Baby Challenge goals into two separate parts:

Goal #1: Eat Healthy Choices Only
My main goal is to eat only organic, local, fresh, whole foods all week, no matter what meal/snack, so finding it within my budget...it'll be a challenge in and of itself! But I believe eating whole healthy foods without pesticides, growth hormones, and toxic chemicals is the way to go if you want to be healthy, not just look nice.

Goal # 2: Increase Activity Level Daily
Ha! Ha! This one's going to be hard. I am a runner and usually run 2-3 times a week, 3 miles as the norm. But I haven't run since November because of some weird health issues I've been having, and they've also been keeping me from my usual active lifestyle. Sooooo.... My goal is to add either some easy activity to every day, either yoga, walking, or dancing in the living room... :) I hope to get myself back into my normal swing of things, as I love being outdoors hiking and running and just being active! I think that's one of the best things about being alive.

I'll post updates too, because I think it's important to check in and make sure what you're doing is actually working.

My main goal is to feel as good - health wise - as I did before I had kids. Having kids is really hard on your body, and I want to get back in shape so I can keep up with everything and everyone I love. This might mean taking something that I don't want to take and seeing a few more docs to figure out this mystery thing. I don't know, I'm still up in the air about it...

Every week I'll keep track of how I feel in general and decide if the food/exercise choices I've made are working or need to be tweaked a bit.

My starting point right now?
Activity level = zero
Healthy Food Choices = so far, so good
weight = I'll tell if you tell!
pre-baby jeans = still fit, don't hate me

Ok, so you asked for goals, you got goals...I'll post weekly and see how this challenge pans out for me.

;)