Giving In & Letting Go...How to Open Yourself Up to Possibilities in Healing

I've been thinking about the importance of some of the crap we humans have to endure and survive lately. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. People who play by the rules. People who say please and thank you. People that just do good and are good. I mean, honestly, don't we all find it crazy making to witness lightning striking in the path of good people.

Yet...does lightning ever ask?
Or does it just strike?

Good people, bad people. It strikes us all. It's simply a part of life, like it or not.

And we could willy-nilly go on accepting that lightning will strike us and those we know at random times during our life. For the most part, I think we all do just accept it and move on. Except when the big ones hit. Then we want to know why. Demand to know why. To what end did this happen? How does something bad happening to someone good fit in the grand scheme of things?

Because, honestly, humanly, horrible things happening to anyone doesn't seem to make any sense...

Only, once we start down the worn road of questioning the Universe, this Great Mystery we call life, it's easy to get bogged down in the wondering and the why'ing. How on Earth are we to think positively - or better yet, find a way to accept and move on - from the lightning that strikes in our lives and in the lives of those we know and love?

This is the main ingredient I've been chewing on lately. Do we just dwell in the darkness of the why's? Because that's easy to do. Forget life. Forget God. Forget ever breaking back into the light. I know. I've been there. Seen many people I know and love get stuck.

Yet, and this might be a stretch for some, but....there's something to having the unthinkable happen to you. Forget all the, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger/weirder," sayings. What I'm talking about it is much greater. And can help you live through and move on along your healing journey.

You just have to do One. Hard. Impossible. Thing.

Give in.

Give in to the possibility that it - everything - is meant to be. Meant to happen.

I've always believed everything happens for a reason. That belief came after a few big booming lightning strikes took me out of the game for a few years (aka, a decade). To bounce back from them, there was one sure fire way to get back into living and loving life.

BY GIVING IN.

Give in to the possibility that what happened, happened for a purpose...

This can be a hard concept to accept. Why? Because to do so, you have to do one more impossibly hard thing.

LET GO.

Let go of your own concept of what life is.
Let go of who you think is in charge.
Let go of the could-have-been's in your life.

There comes a time - and sometimes, many times - in our lives that we are presented with a notion, a thought, an arbitrary line of thinking, that maybe, just maybe, things could have been different. Life - its ups and down, its challenges, its crosses to bear - could have been different. Would have been.

If only I had made that one choice differently...things would have turned out, different.

Let Go.

Let go of the past. Let go of the could have been... Let go.

and

Give In.

Give in to the notion that something great can and will come of this.

I know. This took me years to accept, discover. Sometimes, it's insanely hard to fathom something good coming out of something bad.

Yet...

The only way to find light in darkness - no matter the saturation- is to let go of the darkness. Let go of the wondering, the why'ing. Why me? Why now? Why? Why? Why? If you don't let go, then questions and worry will be all you ever have. All that will ever be brought to you.

What you put out into the Universe, the Universe sends back to you.

If you let go and give in, something extraordinary will happen. It can happen right away...or it can happen years from now. And that's what may be the hardest thing about letting go: the unknown. You don't know what's going to come of this. Or when. Or how.

Scary.

But you can do it. Let go...

Of your frustrations.
Of your worry.
Of your hope.

Yes, that too. If you're always looking down a path, straining to see the light, hoping you won't miss it, you might not see something glistening off to the side.

So, let go.

And give in.

Give in to any and all possibility. The answer you want, crave, need, may not ever come in the form you desire. That's the importance of letting go; let go of ALL your expectations.

We don't know why bad things happen to us. To anyone. But they are a part of life. By being giving in and letting go, we can help facilitate the healing that is all important to our life and well being.

So, that's your homework. Two really simple impossible things to do...that I know you can do:

1. Let Go.
2. Give in.


Peace be with you, now and always,
Lia Mack

What are Body Memories? And How to Heal Them....

Recently I was invited to be a guest blogger at www.survivormanual.com. My superhero, Angela Shelton, asked me to write up an article. And whenever any of your superheros call on you, you answer! And with a smile :)

And a big ol'goofy grin it was. I have so so missed writing. Anything! It was so relaxing, better than a spa relaxing, to get the draft going, run some research, edit, edit and edit again.

And, what do you know? It's NANOMO again!!! :) That's right - National Novel Writing Month. I've participated the last three years and it's been exhilarating, crazy making fun. This year I'm concentrating on getting back into the grove, though. Not over doing it. That's why I was so thankful that cape-wearing Angela Shelton gave me a ring...eh, email ;). Something simple to get the fingers moving again.

Although, body memories are anything but simple.

Check out the article on The Survivor Manual if you get a chance. Pass it along to anyone out there that may benefit from such a great resource.

What's Next, Zombies?!

A little while back, we had an earthquake and a hurricane, all in one week.

Hurriquake 2011

lol...

no, really, a friend of mine actually thought of making t-shirts ;)

So, a few days later, here I was, driving around after the storm blew over and the waters receded, and I saw a sign posted in Annapolis - prim and proper Annapolis of all places! - that asked the simple, yet obvious question:

What's next, zombies?!

Hilarious. And as someone who is just coo-coo for some zombies - The Walking Dead this Sunday!! - I couldn't help the giggles.

But, you know? It's a perfectly logical question. And life....doesn't life just seem like that sometimes? Like when things start falling apart, blowing up, one thing after another after another after another...all we can think is, what more could possibly happen?!

Zombies, I tell you. It's the only possible answer.

No, really, there's no such thing as zombies. And that's the point I'd like to make in this blissfully beguiling Friday blog post. Don't sweat it. You have no idea what's to come. Just be prepared by staying sane (and keeping a healthy pantry) and all will be good. No matter what life throws at you - oh, please no fast moving zombies, please! - don't waste your now worrying about what may or may not come.

And what's the deal with fast moving zombies anyway? What moron thought up that one?! Totally takes the fun out of trying to survive, IMHO (in my humble opinion).

Besides: Dead decaying matter doesn't move fast. Not at all.

Don't just survive. Have fun. 

Enjoy life! Be present in your here and now. We all have something(s) going on with us and/or around us. Some of us may be at a lull, some of us may be battling oncoming traffic on a regular basis. But dwelling on the thing or things that's piling up on us won't make life any fun. It'll make it miserable.

And do you think God put you here to be miserable?

Think about that one. Did He? She? It? However you see God, what do you think? Are you supposed to dwell in misery or do your best at blissfully beguiling in everyday life? And if you picked the latter - which is the correct answer, by the way - who's responsibility is it to ensure you enjoy yourself, your life, to the fullest?

Your spouse? Your parent? Your friends? Your doctor? God?...You?

Not a trick question.

Being prepared, living life to your own view of its fullest, being PRESENT in what's going on with you here and now - not past or future, but now - is totally all you.

Your responsibility.

Not your boss. Not your kids. Not your imaginary friend. You.

Great, huh? One more thing to deal with... No No NO! Why so glum?! This is the fun part of life! Doing what you want to do, love to do, set out to do. DO IT! Have fun with it! And if it doesn't work out, remember...you had fun trying!!! AND (drum roll please) you'll be in the company of those who were also brave enough to do what they love and wanted to do, whatever that may be.

Even if that means, for some, running away from zombies ;)

And don't sweat the small and not so small stuff. We are all there. We are all in this together - just some of us disguise our troubles and problems better than others. But worrying about and dwelling on the junk we all have to endure just makes things worse.

Don't agree? Here, listen to what my doctor told me yesterday (and tell me if this makes sense...)

"So you have ____ (you fill in the blank: An illness. Problem in-laws. A crazy person clawing at your door. Whatever). So you have this," my doc says to me. "That's like 2+2=4. It's normal. But, you if you have ____(again, fill in your blank) and you add getting worried or stressed over it, it'll be like 2+2+2=11. Meaning, you'll make yourself bananas!"

So, in other words...or in the words of my doctor...

Don't go bananas! 

Take worry and stress out of the equation, get back to reality - life, it's a roller coaster, get used to it - and just keep going. "Enjoy your life!" Again, more words from the banana doctor.

Do what you love in addition to dealing with life in general.

You don't want to get to the end of your life and think, "well, gee...I never really did do what I always wanted/loved/dreamed of doing. Huh...."

That's not what you want, is it?

Wouldn't it be more fun to think, "well, gee...I tried, I failed, I succeeded. Damn, that was fun. I loved my life. Yep. I sure did..."

Zombies n'all.

;)

And I'm Back...Tangents And All

HELLO OUT THERE!

So long I've been gone, no?

Lots to talk about, lots of lost time. I stopped writing - blogging, noveling, everything - back in May because, well, let's face it. The ol'brain just wasn't workin' right ;) And I winky-smile after saying that because, well, let's face it. If you can't smile, what's the point?

;)

So, what's new... Well, I've got the house almost to myself right now, and it's silent! Two in school, three taking a nap. The hubby wanted me to brine a whole chicken over night and roast it for dinner, so that's about to get going into the oven. Who ever heard of brining a chicken for 24 hours, I don't know...but I guess I left the TV on the Food Network channel and when Mr. Hubby turned it on to watch football over the weekend...well, let's just say his tummy was inspired.

How many times can I say, "well, let's just say" in a blog post? ;)

I'll stop with the repetition with that one, but not the winky-winks. I'm a winker. A flirt. Got to wink. Got to be comical. Got to be sweet. That's me ;)

Back in High School - in southern Italy, no less - I was called just that. "The Flirt"...as if there weren't any others out there sashaying it up in the halls (well, hall. The school was so small, we only had one hall. 25 people in my graduating class! We were like family...still are! :)

And I'm back...tangents and all.

So, I was "The Flirt" and I loved all the attention that I got from just being me. I know I had no intention on being a flirt, I just love life! I love hanging out with people, no matter who - guys, girls, geeks, greeks - and I think that's where the nickname conjured up from. I didn't live in a clique. I cliqued with everyone :) I did hang out predominantly with one particular clique - "The Ho's" - but that's an entirely different blog post all together! LOL...oh, my...funny funny.

And don't think for a second that they minded at all that they were called the, you know what's. They picked the name themselves! My first day of school, I remember walking down our hall and into a group of happy, pretty smiles. And the biggest smile of them all - a dear friend of mine still to this day - asked with all her wonderful exuberance, "Hey, you're new. You want to be friends with us? We're the Ho's!" And thus a grand gift of friendships was born.

And maybe that's where the nickname came from also. I hung out with my friends who were quite chummy with the guys - our guys, visiting school guys, GI's (our school was on a military base), and so I guess it was assumed that I was equally as chummy. But I had no clue back then what a ho even was. Honestly, I really was that naive and yes, this blonde. Before I moved to Italy, I was back in Colorado climbing mountains and climbing trees. I was a very young 14 when I moved to Italy and had no clue. But I had fun despite it!

Yep. Life as a blonde really is better ;)

Oh, but I learned my lesson eventually, as I'm sure we all do. And a lesson I did learn... Stopped my flirtatiousness for the better of eh, let's say, twenty years. Hurtful people can kill a part of you... Thankfully God was looking out for me all that time, or I'd never have met the brined chicken lover who is the perfect fit to my puzzle.

God - The Universe - always looking out for us. We just have no clue how this puzzle will ever fit together until we see the whole picture.

Which brings me to a fantastic tangent. After quitting all that I love back in May to focus on just trying to live (and I mean it. LIVE. Been pretty unlucky as of late. But don't think that'll hold me down for long. I insist on living, and living WELL. Testa dura...that's me!) I was going to blog about it, but I'd rather focus on the positive - making this shit go away and/or living better with it. No more complaining about it.

Soooo...

Because I'm so blessed, I got to spend a good portion of July out in San Diego visiting my lovely sister-in-law. Oh, and of course my brother :) And would you know it? I felt PERFECT!!! Check out what POTS is all about and at home I have it all - including the hypovolemia.

BUT!! OMG. Out in San Diego?!?!? I was 90% better!!!

90 percent.

Better.

Hello!

So, of course, when I had to leave and fly back to the east coast - where all my POTS symptoms returned in 10 minutes - I told hubby, "We're moving. I can't live like this anymore." I'm young, I have young children, and I refuse to live handicap, ESPECIALLY if I don't have to!!!

Being the practical, factual, logical thinker he is, although he was happy that I could live POTS free, we needed to do some research, make sure it wasn't just seasonal. That I'd feel fine there all year long. It is a pretty big thing to pick up and move cross country with no where to live or work with two kids...

After a bit of a battle of hearts and heads, I simmered down and started to try to see it his way. Okay. I need to know for sure this wasn't just a fluke (ha! as if feeling 90% better instantly is something to second guess...) So, how to get out to Cali at different times of the year to test out my theory.

Think, Lia. Think...

While thinking, I got bored, started surfing the web and updating my facebook page. Had to "Like" San Diego because, hello! It "Likes" me! ;) And while I was on San Diego's facebook page, I saw they were hosting a "200K Likes Contest" with a prize..."Like us, then Like the Hilton at Torey Pines, and you'll be entered to win a 5 night stay at the Hilton!"

Well, gee! That's easy...

Click.

Click.

So I "Liked" San Diego and "Liked" the Hilton too. And kind of whispered to God that, if this move should happen, that it really is the only thing that I can do to feel - live- better, it would be really stellar to win this contest so I could bring Hubby along and Mr. Practical-Logical can see for himself.

AND GUESS WHAT?

GUESS!!!!

:)

I won.

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG. Or, rather. OTYG - Oh Thank You God! ;)

So, come Spring Break, Hubby and I are flying out to live it up in San Diego. Just the two of us. Like a date! Wow, I'm so excited! He's, of course, dreading seeing the light, therefore he'll have to figure out the move. "Why so practical?!" I say. "Just have fun. We'll land on our feet."

I always do ;)

And I'm planning a quick trip by myself to So Cal this winter, so that takes care of summer, winter and spring. If I feel great all those seasons, I think it's safe to say I'll feel fantastic all year round. Seeing I only get, at tops, a month here (a few weeks in spring plus a few weeks in fall) that I feel good here, I'd say this is a NO BRAINER.

We're going.

But, yes. I married a cautious man, so I will give him two years of dealing with this on the east coast so we have time to figure things out. I can do it. Have been for a while now. That way we're not just jumping blindfolded...although, if you ask me, that's way more fun! ;)

So, yep. I'm excited! ;) Someone asked what would we possibly do - by ourselves - for 5 nights in sunny southern California...

LOL... I love it when people give me a reason to smile, laugh.

So, that's a taste of what's been up. The weather's getting cooler, the humidity is feigning away - Go away! And there's a really hot pair of leopard print pumps in my future. Standing up in a wedding in a few weeks. At a pumpkin festival! The dress is super sweet. Just hope it doesn't snow. The dress is sleeveless and to the knees! However, I look great in it, and the shoes are so awesome, I bet I'll be feeling too hot to care ;)

Oh, and before I know it, Thanksgiving will be here. And I declared last Thanksgiving that the next one, I'd like to host. So, I'm hosting! :) Can't wait.

Hope everyone's doing well out there!

Glad to be back.

:)

Dealing With Life's Ups & Downs...Mostly Downs...

Nothing do, but smile through.
Smile through...

This has become my new mantra as of late. A few too many overwhelming items plopped onto my plate, what else can I do?

Cry?
Complain?

You do too many of either one and you start loosing people to cry to, complain to, talk to...

Then what? You end up alone. No good. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... no matter how much that cliche hurts your head to say it, read it, write it. Just do it. Make your damned lemonade.

And smile through.

It might feel a little like living life by a lie, however, sometimes it's best to do just that. No one really wants to hear how you really feel. They're overwhelmed themselves. Just smile and nod and do something fun. Buy something nice. Go somewhere warm. No harm in that, right?

At the very least you'll be out and about doing something else with someone who can still stand to be around you. Heck, they might even like to be around you ;)

So what if you have some illness or situation that can't ever be resolved. Does it mean that you have to talk about it - and only it - all.the.bloody.time?!

I get stuck on things. Negative things. Bad things. Especially things that linger and stick around and get stuck on me. In me. But what good does it do for me or you to stay stuck on these things? Sure, we work through them.

Maybe.
Mostly.

However, that one lame thing that we keep thinking and talking about starts to define us. And people, unless they're in the mood to talk about it or listen to you talk about it, well, they'll stop coming around. And then, again, you're alone. No fun.

So...

Smile through I say.

Whatever it is that's got your panties in a bunch, just blow it off. Who needs it!

Yes, you're having a bad day because of it. So is probably 70% of the population (I'm being optimistic here, I know). But do we really have to talk about it?

Fogetaboutit...

Crank your brain and think real hard for something better to talk about. Think about. Go out and do something fun. And whatever that is, make that your mainstay diet of conversation. Pretty soon that awesomeness will start to become you instead of that crappiness that had you so overworked you couldn't think or talk about anything but.

And yes...sometimes we might have to just be silent if we can't think of anything nice to say or do. But there's no harm in that. That's actually a very good practice. The only way to bring peace into your life is to be at peace.

So smile through, I say.

Nothing do, but smile through.

A Novel from a Dream...When Your Subconscious Does All The Work

I woke up about forty-five times the other night - okay, more like five or six times - and each and every time I woke up, I wished I could return to the dream that was interrupted by the wakefulness. I've had dreams before where I was eating or shopping or skiing down a mountain, dreams that I'd love to dream forever, only I'd wake up during the best parts, never to return again. No matter how hard I tried, how much I begged my brain to get back to that place of pure joy, it's never worked.

Until the other night.

Each time I woke, I hoped, fell back to sleep, and returned to the exact place the dream had left off, multiple times over, until the last time I awoke, bright and early in the morning, the dream - the story - was finished. Beginning to end. Like a movie. Or a novel.

I wrote the story down the next day, just in case it was a good one, as all story ideas are great when you're half asleep. Ninety-nine percent of them turn out to be outrageous, hideous, hilarious bad ideas. And you trash them. No biggie. It was just a dream.

However, well, this idea? It's good. Real good. And funny. I just can't believe my subconscious came up with it, totally without my help. And that's what's bothering me...

Who's story idea is this anyway?

It's not mine, is it? I mean, I wasn't actively thinking of which actions, which characters would do. I wasn't the one who came up with the story line. The location. The lessons learned. Hidden messages.

I was just a spectator. Watching the dream unfold, like a movie goer. Only thing I lacked was the fresh popped popcorn. Organic popcorn, of course. No GMO's for me, thank you very much...

But I didn't come up with this idea. I didn't. I wrote it down, yes. But I didn't come up with any of it. I did add a few things here and there to make sense of bits and pieces, so to that I can lay claim. And getting it down on paper. Well, yes. I did that. Wow, I can write words. Go me...

Yet the actual story line. The characters. The dialouge. The setting, plot, description. Everything else... It just happened, came to me for my viewing pleasure, in a dream.

Knowing this, is it safe to say, then, that this was team work? A joint effort between me and my most beloved writer buddies of all time - my subconscious? Then why do I feel as though I found this idea in someone else's closet? I don't even feel a connection with the person - thing - that came up with it all.

I don't feel like it was me...

Yet it was.

Intuition.
Drive.
Spirit.
Soul.

Nothing you can touch, but all that you feel.

Character.
Ego.
Essential Nature.
Inner Self.

That which makes you you.

Inherent.
Instinctive.
Involuntary.
Innate.

All of this. This is your Subconscious. It is You.

In Waiting for Paint to Dry, I had no conscious idea that I had, while writing the first draft, interjecting multiple plot lines and themes that carried through the entire story, through different characters, all to come out in the end with a dramatic conclusion. That wasn't me doing it on purpose. Again, it just happened. It was my subconscious that made it all happen.

So I make peace with the notion that I'm not totally the one in control here. That I'm not the only one putting the pieces so creatively together - even though, yes, my subconscious is me and I am my subconscious...so confusing...

The thing is, there's no way any of us could ever consciously do what our subconscious does without even lifting a finger. Like it or not - no matter that you're wide awake, spending hours upon hours honing your craft, working your magic, fingers sore, butt tired - it's your subconscious doing most the work. All the work even. So who is it that gets the credit in the end? Even though you and it are one in the same, although at times it feels as though it's outside of you and not you, but you still???

...

Sign your name with care, folks.

;)

Reading While Writing... "The Opposite of Love" by Julie Buxbaum

When I read, I read for enjoyment and the craft of writing. In my "Reading While Writing" blog posts, I list and discuss the lessons I feel each book contained for me. Feel free to follow along and add your own lessons learned :)


craft lesson #1: cover art...Make sure the WHOLE title is visible!!!

Don't let the pic to the right fool you. You can't even see the words "the opposite of" on the book I have. They're yellow. On a white background! Looking at the book without squinting, the title just looks like "LOVE".

I'd never pick up a book titled "LOVE".

Why? What smart ass titles a book "LOVE"?... Like, what can they teach me about love that I already don't know?

But a book called, "the opposite of LOVE". Now that gets my attention. I know exactly what the opposite of love is - we all do. But how did this author pull it off? What kind of story line did they wrap around their meaning? I'd pick that book up in a heart beat. Thankfully I plucked this beauty from the online library tank. I'd never have touched it at a book store...LOVE...

It might not have to do with the exact craft of writing, but you can't sell your book if a reader can't read the title...so, a good lesson I learned from this book is...

#1: Make sure the WHOLE title is visible!!!

Someone needs to be fired...

Cover art aside, Julie Buxbaum wrote this contemporary fiction with brilliance. I loved it. I love her voice. Her writing style. Her main character. Aside from the font color snafu (I'm a HUGE font-freak), the book is a definite read. It's fun. It's light. It's heavy (but not too much). It hits right to the point. I wish I didn't borrow it from the library so I could pass it along to a fellow blog reader! It was that good, I'd give it away, knowing someone else would enjoy it just as much.

And it contains a great number of lessons to be learned too about the craft of writing. Just a few items that kept popping up on the radar. Not ones that would brake the bank, of course. But take home lessons nonetheless:


writing craft lesson #2: Use Contractions!

People do not talk like this. They do not, could not, should not, cannot, have not... Especially dialogue. When an author, like Buxhaum, so sparingly uses contractions in their work, it pulls the reader right out of the story. Why? The reader gets yanked because the flow of dialogue, the sound of inner dialogue is unnatural. It does not flow. It does not sound like real people are talking to each other, thinking in their head. Therefore, the illusion of fiction is broken. You need contractions. They are your friends. When wanting your readers to stay in the story, to feel part of the world you have created, you have to keep it real. Natural. You have to contract words! It is how people speak the English language. (See how this short paragraph with NO contractions is a bit painful to read? Try a whole book.) It was painful. Enough. To be. Annoying. (that, I borrowed from Buxbaum's writing style ;)


writing craft lesson #3: Diversify Big Statements

I don't want to give the book away, but a word like "disembowelment" can be overused if used more than - oh, let's say - three times in one book. It's a big word. It's a big statement. I get what the author was trying to get at, and I understand that the book was written in first person (therefore we get a lot of one-sided inner dialogue, and people tend to use the same words over and over again.) BUT. It wasn't even the point in the end. So why the overuse? I understand it was the journey... and that's important. However. A few differing words that mean the same thing could have been used. Or a few differing images. Not always the same shovel to the insides technique. Again. Annoying.


writing craft lesson #4: Keep Consistency in Your Characters!

If you, all of a sudden, decide that your MC should have this great nervous tick or start using this quirky self-soothing technique while you're writing chapter 25, MAKE SURE to go back and edit that quirk or tick INTO the rest of the book! A person going through an emotional battle has problems WHILE fixing themselves, their lives. Not AFTER they are whole and at peace. You don't, all of a sudden, create self-soothing techniques to help you get through your day. Not at the end of the book! How irritating. It was.

The MC developed a real quirky self-soothing technique that didn't present itself until chapter 25. Twenty-five! I'm trained in psychology, so I know, this is not the way it works. You need to keep your characters consistent from beginning to end. IF your MC is working through something and is a little, eh, odd, to start with, that's where the quirks live. At the beginning, while building your character through the early chapters.

Then, throughout the story-line, the MC grows, evolves more and more, and the quirks become less and less. Self-soothers, hearing voices, nervous ticks - whatever you want them to have. All these thing, they lessen and lessen over time until they gradually disappear by the end of the book. Maybe one little thing lingers, but that's it! Only one more time...and that's humorous ;)

But, OMG. Don't forget to include the tick/quirk you started all the way in chapter 25 back into the beginning of the book. And then keep it going all the way through. That's what's editing is all about. Going back through and making sure your characters are consistent. And evolve correctly.

OTHER THAN THAT (wow, there were more radar bleeps than I thought) the book was a keeper. On my next to read list will definitely be Buxbaum's new novel, "After You".

Only, what to read next...something different...any suggestions?

;)

5 Reasons to Attend a Writer's Conference...

For the longest time, I thought Writer's Conferences were merely a day spent trying to network and mingle with a room full of introverted writers.

Painful.

So I steered clear. Kept my nose to my manuscript. Edited away. Who needs networking when I've got work to do. Then I saw a posting for a nearby conference boasting classes, informational sessions, and, yes...food. Breakfast, lunch, snacks. Oh, hello. I'm there!

Turned out to be more informational, and dare I say, fun than I had anticipated. Best part, I learned that not all writers - myself included - are total freakish introverts. We just can't yap about our craft with just anyone. We need to be around other writers!

Which brings me to my #1 reason to attend a writer's conference:

#1 Meet Other Writers
Find others in your genre. Form a critique group, a reading group, a writer's meet up group with them. It's great fun and good exercise to involve yourself in the art of talking about writing with other writers.

#2 Practice Your Pitch
This is my main reason for going to future writer's conferences. I found out quick that the pitch I had thought was pitch-perfect was a total flop. And hurt. I saw the person I pitched to flinch at the 'r' word. I don't want any flinching when I'm pitching my novel to agents. I've revamped what I had - killed it, rewrote it - and am ready for my next round of pitches.

#3 Take Home Lessons
Writer's Conferences are filled with classes taught by authors, editors, authors who are editors, editors who are authors. In other words, people who live and breathe the craft.

#4 Find an Editor
So there will be classes taught by editors...who are pitching themselves, their services to all us aspiring writers. Take a class with editors you want to see in action, find one you like, and hire them if you want someone to go over your manuscript.

#5 Agent Sessions
At the conference I attended, you could pay an additional fee to meet with an agent to review your first 25 pages. Other conferences offer different deals. Pitch sessions, where you go around and have 5-10 minutes with a room full of agents and pitch, pitch, pitch. Others where you can submit your whole manuscript before hand and schedule a session with the agent of your choice.

I had fun. Got a day to immerse myself in my craft sans little hands. Next month, there is yet another conference within driving distance. I think I might go ;) Bring my business cards, practice my pitch, meet local writers. Can't wait.

Reading While Writing... "House Rules" by Jodi Picoult

When I read, I read for enjoyment and the craft of writing. In my "Reading While Writing" blog posts, I list and discuss the lessons I feel each book contained for me. Feel free to follow along and add your own lessons learned :)

Wow, what a fantastic book! I almost didn't finish it, knowing from past Jodi Picoult books that she doesn't always end the books the way I'd like them to live on in my mind. She's good for that life's a tragedy bit. However, I pushed on, hoping...praying...and phew! The book ended just as I would have it. I love a good book.

And long. 500 pages... My book started out being 100K like this one. Now I'm starting to think all my editing will benefit my readers as well as the tree population. (Although I'd love to have it printed only on recycled paper. But who knows if I'd have the option to make that choice in the end.) I'm starting to feel a clean cut, conscience story is the way to go. Because, although "House Rules" was 500 pages long, I didn't actually read all 500 pages. There was TONS of extraneous information that could have been deleted.

Take for instance all the back story. Jodi's good for it, but after reading all her work, you'd think she'd come up with a new system for disseminating it. It's always the same. A few paragraphs of the actual story then break - a few pages of back story, then break - a few pages of actual story, then break, a few paragraphs of back story, and so on and so on and so on and so on. It's so broken up - the actual story. But a little deviation from the norm would be nice. I'm just glad the book ended the way I wanted it to after investing so much time in reading it!

So, what did I learn from reading it?

To vary structure.

Jodi can get away with doing the same thing, writing in the same style, the same voice, over and over and over again. She's a bestseller. She's on the list. People know her name. We'll buy books just because we know she's a good story teller.

Yet...her structure. Pick up any three books of hers and they are all the same. Chapters in different character's POV's. Back story breaking up the action and the actual story ALL THE TIME. Yes, it's fun. Yes, it's genius. Yes, it's monotonous.

I've heard it a thousand times - vary, vary, vary. And I get it now. After flipping past pages and pages of bla bla bla that was starting to get on my nerves, I got it. Don't bore your reader. Change it up a little bit. So, you have your voice. Use it. But don't over do it.

Vary sentence structure.
Vary paragraph structure.
Vary chapter structure.
Vary story structure.

Don't get so bogged down in what works for you that you don't see that you're ALWAYS doing it the same way. Try something new. Never know when you might come up with a new winning system.

Vary, Vary, Vary!

Your readers will thank you.

:)

Back in the Swing of Things... Writing After a Break

Anyone else just now rising out of the ashes of this past holiday's chaotic-fun? All I have to say is, geeze laweeze (or however you spell it).... Every year I vow to not allow the holidays to derail me from my on going routine and goals. Yet, every year seems to still get away from me.

Now, I'm not altogether a total ba humbug. I'm not. (My husband says I am, but really, I'm not. Honest!) I do love all the added bliss, yummy food, good times, and great company. It's just, well, too much. And too long. Especially for the procrastinators....

Ah...there it is. Yes. I'm a fantastic procrastinator. Wait until the last minute and there's no way to keep your sanity or happiness about any changes in the regularly scheduled program. Hence, next year as part of my list of New Year Resolutions, I'm only going to do holiday planning, prep, and run around between the day after Thanksgiving and December 1st. If it's not done by December, it's not that important. That way I have a whole month of free days to, oh, cook some cookies for fun. Or put together a gingerbread house for fun. All decoration and letters and shopping will be done and out of the way.

My goal: to have fun without going nuts and getting stressed...

Which brings me to 'getting back into the swing of things'. The one major part of my everyday blissful life that gets put on the back burner during the holidays is my writing. Between work and kids and the house and everything else, too many to list, where does taking time for yourself come in? No where is what I've found. By the time you do find a moments rest, all you have energy for IS rest. And when you wake up, you feel like crap because you haven't done a darn thing for yourself in over a month. Yes, you've showered. Yes, you've brushed your teeth. However, those things aren't necessarily for you. You do have to venture into the outside world without making everyone around you run screaming from the horror.

What you haven't done is take time for you. To do what you want, like, need to do. Things that not only SAY you, but leave you feeling like, yes, I DO live inside my own skin! I DO have control over my life and what happens to me and how I feel about me and everything around me. For some people that might be any number of things. For me, that's writing.

Even writing this now, I feel stiff. Like the words aren't flowing like they normally do when I give myself the opportunity to write every day. This post so far, IMO, sucks. I just don't see my voice here at all. Yet. But give it time, I always say (well, actually, that was the first time I've said it, but hey. Gotta start somewhere...) So, give it time. Eventually you will see yourself again. Feel yourself again. Be yourself again.

And I feel it coming back now, like a slow rising sun. It is inevitable. It will come back. It just takes a break for the night. That break from your writing, whether self or else induced, is only temporary. The only way to get back to writing is easy. We all know it. Say it with me now: just write! You write more if you write. It's the most simple solution, some people can miss it.

There will always be that group of emerging writers who want to become brilliant writers, yet are still asking how to do it. How do I write better? How do I do it? Answer? Write! Not many things in life are so nicely packaged into one wonderful word, so take it and run blissfully into the sunset with it. If you want to write, as I really want to get back to my writing, the answer is simple (even though I've spent two paragraphs explaining it...) Write. Just write. Sit down. Write. Done ;)

And don't beat yourself up over needing to stretch a bit when you are getting back into the swing of writing after a break. Don't touch your most important work, however, until you're really back back. Start slow, just as with any exercise routine. Stretch, walk, jog a bit. Then run. You don't want to make a disaster of what you had done before your break. Write a blog post. Scribble in your journal. Do it everyday. Everyday without excuse. 200 words minimum. Sounds like a tiny bit, but this is only a stretching exercise. After about a week, or less, you'll be back in the swing of things. And in no time, back to writing 2500 words, 5000 words a day.

How blissful is that?

; )