GIVEAWAY! and Interview with Featured Guest Author Sharon Short, author of MY ONE SQUARE INCH OF ALASKA

Welcome to Lia Mack's BB Writers Retreat series!

As part of our November BB Writers Retreat, I am excited to have with us published author Sharon Short.

Sharon Short, author of MY ONE SQUARE INCH OF ALASKA

Sharon Short is the author of eleven books in all so far, plus stories and essays, including:

• MY ONE SQUARE INCH OF ALASKA
• Three mysteries in the private eye Patricia Delaney "eGumshoe" series
• Six mysteries in the comedic Josie Toadfern "stain expert/laundromat owner" series
• A collection of humorous essays entitled Sanity Check

Lia Mack: Thank you so much for being part of the BB Writers Retreat series, Sharon. 

Please start us off by telling a little about yourself.

Sharon Short: I live in Ohio with my husband, beagle, and two spoiled cats. Our daughters are mostly grown; they're both away at college.  I grew up in the Dayton, Ohio area. In high school, I swore I'd never live in my hometown or get married, and ended up happily married to my high school sweetheart and (after living for a time in northern Ohio, New Orleans, and California) moved back to the very town I foreswore. I'm very glad to be here and glad that things turned out differently than I wanted when I was 16! I greatly love the arts community of Dayton. In addition to writing fiction, I am the Executive Director of the Antioch Writers' Workshop in nearby Yellow Springs, Ohio, and write the weekly Literary Life column for the Dayton Daily News. The column is about writers, readings, literary events and literary history in the greater Dayton area.

Lia Mack: You know, I've been dreaming about attending the Antioch writing workshop for years. How exciting that you spearhead it.

Now, for the ultimate question...

Why do you write?

Sharon Short: It's how I make sense of the world--through story. My head lives in story. I can't imagine NOT writing. It would be like trying to live without breathing: impossible after a very brief time.

Lia Mack: How do you feel you've grown as a writer?

Sharon Short: I attended Wright State University for my undergraduate degree. I tested out of freshman English, but had to take sophomore composition. I admit I was annoyed by this requirement, even as an English major, since I just knew that I didn't *need* the class. Why couldn't I just plunge right in to the interesting literature survey classes?

On my first paper, I received the first "B" of my life, at least in an English class. (I flunked bowling in high school, but that's another story.) I stormed into my professor's office, explained I'd never received a "B" before, and that I just knew I was a better writer than any other students in his class. Looking back on that hubris makes me shudder, but if Dr. Whissen was offended, he didn't show it. He merely pressed the tips of his fingers together, gazed evenly at me, and said, "I'm not grading your work based on what you've done before. Or based on how you compare to other students. I'm grading you based on how well I think you're doing compared to what you CAN do."

Somehow, I understood--my goal should always be to improve upon what I've written before... not to compare myself to others or rest on past achievements. So, that's been my goal ever since then. As proud as I am of my first novel published nearly 20 years ago, I think my dedication to this goal shows in my work. MY ONE SQUARE INCH OF ALASKA is a deeper, more from-the-heart novel than I could possibly have written when starting out.

Lia Mack:  I love what your professor said and how you've used that to your advantage.

What made you decide to write as a career?

Sharon Short: Again, we go back to that whole writing=breathing analogy.  I discovered books and almost immediately wanted to be a writer. In fact, I wrote and self-published my first book at age 6. Of course, I didn't realize that's what I was doing at the time, but I wrote a little book called "The Fireman," illustrated it, bound it with red construction paper and staples, wrote 1 cent in the upper right corner of the cover and "Published by Little Golden Books" on the inside front cover. I then promptly sold it to my aunt. Years later, after she passed away and her husband remarried, his second wife found the little book in an box of greeting cards. This was shortly after my first novel, ANGEL'S BIDDING, was published by Fawcett Books. My step-aunt returned The Fireman to me. I was really touched, both that my aunt kept it and that my step-aunt knew I'd want it back. Getting that little book back confirmed for me that my life's journey and my writing journey are intertwined.

Lia Mack: That is so heartfelt.

Can you describe a bit how your venture into writing looked like?

Sharon Short: After "The Fireman" I wrote many stories as a child, in high school and in college. My husband has commented that it's telling that I wrote so much outside of my assignments. After college, I wrote part of a confused and confusing literary novel, a romance novel that kept getting rejected because, as one editor noted, my hero was "a wimp," and numerous stories.

I finally realized that the genre I most loved at the time was mystery, so I decided to write a mystery novel. I took opening chapters of that to the Antioch Writers' Workshop in 1990, eager to study with the featured fiction lecturer that year... Sue Grafton. Sue (not realizing she was in a way echoing Dr. Whissen) reviewed my manuscript and told me all that she thought was doing well (character development, pacing, plot) and all that I really needed to improve (realistic dialog, researching police procedure.)

Again, I've patterned my own assessment of my work on her method of giving feedback: rejoice in what's working, but honestly accept what isn't and strive to improve it. That is how I approach writers now in workshops when I'm called upon to give feedback. I followed Sue's advice but realized that, even after attempting to improve the manuscript as she suggested, this novel was the novel I needed to write to learn how to write a novel. I put it aside, and started my next novel, ANGEL'S BIDDING.

Our first daughter was born in 1992. ANGEL'S BIDDING came out at the end of 1993. Since then, I've striven to improve with each piece of writing. I've also learned a lot about the publishing business, although in some ways I still feel like a novice in that arena. Writers need to learn craft AND they need to learn about the publishing business, but the two are very different areas of expertise.

Lia Mack: Can you tell us a little about your book?

Sharon Short: MY ONE SQUARE INCH OF ALASKA is a novel very much written from my heart. I'd wrapped up the Josie series and written several false starts on other novels.

In February of 2009, I was at a book club meeting. Someone said, "Does anyone recall those deeds to one square inch of Alaska you could get in cereal boxes?" The question didn't have anything to do with the book we were discussing and I didn't recall the deeds (the promotion was a decade before I was born), but the phrase "one square inch of Alaska" literally took my breath away.

I was immediately taken with the concept of what one tiny bit of land in a vast territory could represent. Within minutes--again, literally--a young woman and her little brother showed up in my imagination and seemed to be saying, could you please tell the story of *our* one square inch of Alaska?

By the time I was home, one of the final scenes had, for lack of a better term, downloaded itself into my imagination. I rushed to my desk and wrote it down in my journal. And then I tinkered with the idea, not fully committing to it until September of 2009.

The novel went through many drafts after that; in the process, I realized that the novel was about the power of dreams, of what happens when we embrace them, follow them, encourage others to do so, ignore them or pick 'false' dreams. Though it is set in 1953 Ohio and (at the end) Alaska, I think it is a story that is rather timeless, because the human need to dream--and the sorrow that comes from cutting ourselves off from our dreams--certainly is timeless.

Lia Mack:  I'm so glad someone asked that question as your novel turned out to be a gem.

What was the most challenging aspect of writing this particular story?

Sharon Short: Realizing that the story was NOT a Young Adult novel (although it is certainly fine for readers 10th grade and up). For awhile, I labored under the incorrect notion that because the novel is coming-of-age and features a 17-year-old female as the protagonist, that it was YA. After feedback at a writing conference in Jan. 2011, I realized that I was writing from the sensibility of a young woman looking back on events.... not from the viewpoint of a 17-year-old as the events unfolded. Aha! So I revised with that realization in mind. I think it makes the work much stronger.

Lia Mack: It most certainly did! And that is great advice to keep in mind when working with certain characters in our novels.

What are you working on now?

Sharon Short: A literary suspense novel.

Lia Mack: What does your typical writing day look like?

Sharon Short: It really depends on where I am in a project, but when I'm working on something new, I try to write new material for the first few hours of each morning. I usually start by looping back to the previous day's work (or the last 2 pages) to do some light revising to get momentum going forward for the next set of new pages. I really prefer the revising stage of work. When I'm in that stage, I admit I tend to neglect other areas of my life (e.g., housecleaning, exercising) because I love the process of revising so much!

Lia Mack: I think you're the first writer I've known who's admited to loving the revising stage of the craft! :)

Do you read a lot while you write?

Sharon Short: I read a lot of research materials for the work I'm writing. I also refer to writing books I find helpful and inspirational, particularly Hooked by Les Edgerton and Seven Steps on the Writer's Journey by Nancy Pickard and Lynn Lott. I do read others' fiction, but tend to do so much more in between my own projects. However, I always am in the process of reading fiction to some degree.

Lia Mack: Can you share a photo of what your writing space looks like?

Sharon Short: Well, I can... although it might scare your readers. Note the candle lit for inspiration; if my mind starts wandering while I write, I focus on the flame. The Snickers pumpkin wrapper, the coffee cup, the bobble heads (Tim Gunn, Hermey and James Thurber.) Everything on my desk has a story or purpose to remind me about how fantastic this writing journey really is. (Except the Snickers. I just like Snickers...)

Sharon Short's writing space ;)

 Lia Mack: What are your thoughts on the necessity of writers building a platform? Any advice?

Sharon Short: Nonfiction writers must have a platform of subject matter expertise as well as for connecting with readers. Fiction writers need a platform for connecting with readers. I think it's important to have a website, with perhaps a blog built in, and a Facebook Author page (IF the writer has been published). I also have an email Newsletter and  use Twitter and Pinterest and LinkedIn. But I think it is important to set a time limit each day for these pursuits (note the kitchen timer on my desk); I try to stick to 15 minutes twice a day, and think of it as the virtual version of going to a break room to chat with colleagues. It's also important to post/tweet etc. about more than your own work or events--occasionally toot the horn for other writers, or share interesting opinions and stories for example. But it's also fine to post photos of events and so on. Readers follow writers on these sites because they WANT that insight into the writers' lives.

Lia Mack:  I like that analogy - using it as a "break room".

If you could go back in time, what advice would you give yourself if you could speak to the aspiring writer you once were?

Sharon Short: Shortly after my first book came out, an older more seasoned published author pulled me aside at a conference and told me that publishers don't care about writers unless they're making a ton of money, that publishing was dying, that since my first novel was a paperback original, I'd never publish anything considered literary. It was brutal.

I was disheartened for months by this negativity. And it made me second-guess everything I did for a long while. I'm not at all sure what this writer's motivation was. Perhaps she thought she was being helpful? But it was really disheartening. I let it affect me to the point that at the conference, when my editor's boss took me out to lunch, I was gawky and half-mute and didn't see the lunch as the compliment and opportunity it was.

I wish I could travel back in time and say to myself, "Look. I don't know that this other writer's problem is. It doesn't matter. But the truth is, yes, publishing can be brutal. So what? Can you name anything, anything at all, that is worth doing that is EASY? Eating Cheetos is easy, for pity's sake. Writing and finding outlets for your work is not easy, but so? It's still who you are and what you believe you want to do with your life! So, ignore the super-negativity just as much as you'd ignore naive positivity, figure out what's realistic, and keep writing! Oh, and for Pete's sake, chat with your editor's boss about what kinds of writing she sees you doing in the future!"

I really wish I'd asked my editor's boss that. But, as it turns out, of course the super-negative writer was wrong. Publishing is still here; it's just changing. Sure, publishers want writers to make money, but I've been blessed with very helpful agents, editors and mentors.

And in terms of publishing anything considered literary... I think in many ways, MY ONE SQUARE INCH OF ALASKA fits that. The novel has received an Ohio Arts Council Literary award for the work, a Montgomery County (Ohio) Arts & Cultural District fellowship, great critical reviews, and I was an Ohioana Book Festival Featured Author this year.

Lia Mack:  Wonderful advice you'd give yourself..."ignore the super-negativity just as much as you'd ignore naive positivity, figure out what's realistic, and keep writing!"

Thank you so much for being our guest author today. Where can BB readers go online to find you and your work?

Sharon Short:

• My web site and blog are www.sharonshort.com. 

• My Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/SharonShortAuthor. 

• My twitter handle is @SharonGShort. 

I'd love for BB readers to follow me on Facebook and Twitter, and to consider signing up for my quarterly email eNewsletter. (As a thank you to those who sign up, I send a humorous essay--available exclusively for subscribers--explaining just how I managed to flunk bowling in high school... and my experiences as the non-athletic mom of two athletic daughters.) Readers can sign up for my eNewsletter--which includes recipes, stories, and other fun tidbits in addition to book news--via my web site or by emailing me at sharonshort @ sharonshort DOT com.

Sharon Short, author of MY ONE SQUARE INCH OF ALASKA

Dogs, Sleepless Nights, and Squishy Surprises in the Hallway...

For some deranged reason, my dogs love to bark at night. Maybe it's the foxes that peruse our neighborhood for yummy fluffy bunnies that get them all hyper. But, as for my husband, any reason is a stupid reason and the dog must be punished!

Well, not really punished. Just silenced... He's a Mack. Mack's are cranks if woken up before their 10 hour sleep is over.

I may be a Mack as well, but I married into this wonderful family. I'm a Green by nature. Yep, that's me. Lia Jean Green Mack ;)

Needless to say, once my dogs start barking at night - and they are always MY dogs when they start barking, not the family's dogs - I'm non-crank enough to rush out and quite them down.

Turn on outside lights to see what's all the fuss is about. Lock them inside so they can't get back out. Poor things, you'd think I locked them in a cage rather than in a whole house, complete with water and food and fluffy couches to sleep on!

But I digress...

The other night, they started barking at 3am. And it wasn't just a little yip here, a little yap there. It was full on insane barking that wouldn't stop. So I turned on the lights. Looked to see what was their problem. Seeing nothing, I went back to bed and told them to do the same.

(I have two Rat Terriers who, unlike their size, have BIG mouths, aka, BIG barks)

Well, the quite lasted a whole 2 minutes. I was up again, hoping to not wake up the sleeping beast (my husband) in the process. Again, I turned on the lights. Again I looked outside. Again I told them to GO TO BED. Sulking, the doggies did.

I was just about to fall back to sleep and BAM! A full on barking party erupted in the backyard. "For the love of...!" I ran outside, grabbed the dogs, locked them in the house - poor puppies my ass - and said one last, blasted, "GOOD NIGHT!" to them as I made my way back to MY bed.

Grumble. Grumble.

Maybe I'm a Mack after all...

Then, on my way down the hall to my bedroom...I step in something. Rolling my eyes, I turn on the light to see what it is.

Poo? No, it's not poo...
Barf? No, it's not barf...

It's...a baked potato.

That's right. A BAKED POTATO. Skin still attached, all squished up between my toes.

Thing is, we haven't had baked potatoes in months. I'm such a quick cooker, I don't bother with them as I never seem to let them cook long enough and, well, I don't have the patience to cook anything that takes longer than 30 minutes.

So the question is...where did the dogs get it from? AKA, whose yard did they snatch it from? Whose trash did they dig through and then decide it was a great idea to bring it INSIDE MY HOUSE!?!?!?

Ugh...

At least baked potatoes flush real easy and they don't stink up the house, unlike dead squirrels.

That's another night I'll never forget...

:/

20 Little Luminaries

20 Little Luminaries
by Lia Mack

In the darkest hour
In the darkest night
20 little luminaries
Fill up with light
 
20 little lives
So innocent, so sweet
20 little smiles
We wish we could greet

Although quiet as snowflakes
Glistening in the sun
40 little hands
Still hold onto the fun

That living gave them
All the love and the joy
That they enjoyed in their short time
All those 20 little girls and boys

And in the twilight
Feel their love near
As 20 little hearts
Hold you close and dear

Remembering the good times
Summer, Spring, Winter, Fall
That you gave to them wholeheartedly
Mommy and Daddy and all

And look at those 3
On the left and the right
Doing their best
To protect with all their might

On both sides of them now
Standing strong, standing tall
6 luminaries
For the adults who too did fall

Angels on Earth
To their rescue did come
To protect them and guide them
With life's wonderful love

Together they go
Together they stay
6 tall and 20 small
Toward Heaven's sweet rays

So stand close to your loved ones
On this cold winter night
3 tall, 20 small, 3 tall
Will you please light
And there they will glow
With life's fire light
As those 20 sweet little lives
Take heavenly flight

As you remember those you've loved and lost this year – 
especially the 26 lives taken away from us that unforgettable fall morning 12.14.12 –  
please light the night with your own luminary in their remembrance.

Removing Toxic People From Your Life

There is a lot to be said about how toxins have a lasting negative effect on your physical health. But what about the lasting effect toxic people have on your mental heath which, in turn, effects your physical health? Where do you draw the line? Is it selfish to remove such people from your life, or is it life saving?

What exactly a toxic person is depends on who you talk to. However the underlying result is always the same: they leave you feeling powerless, vulnerable, and depleted. Feeling this way for long periods of time can be detrimental to your well being.

People who are aggressively physical have obvious toxicity. But what about the subtle types? The ones that ravage you from the inside out?

Someone who:

• takes and never gives in return
• constantly complains
• gossips
• puts you down
• makes you feel guilty
• can only criticize

Honestly, the list can go on and on. So, now that we can pin point these toxics, what do we do with them? I've recently learned what works for me, what helps me stay stress free and toxin free. It's been a health AND life saver:

• Walk Away
  Say, for instance, you are in a room full of people, and someone starts ranting about this or that, complaining about politics or people's lifestyles, and you know - you KNOW - that no matter what you say, however eloquent, you will never change this person's mind...just walk away. You DO NOT have to be there to hear all of the negativity. Your presence is NOT necessary. Leave! Save yourself! Stand up, totally calm. Grab your children nonchalantly and leave the room. Come back in when you know enough time has passed that everyone else in the room has argued till they were blue in the face with the toxic person, to no avail, and the topic has been changed. Phew! You saved yourself from a toxic encounter!
• Take Yourself Out of the Equation
  How about this...There was a huge misunderstanding and, if it had happened with someone who was able to have a normal conversation, it would be done and over with in a calm conversation. Yet your dealing with a toxic person who DOES NOT have such skills. They are gossiping to everyone how you did this and you did that. It doesn't matter if it's false or true, take yourself out of the equation. Don't play the game. Don't counter act all the assaults. Leave. IF need be, say your bit TO the toxic person, just the facts, totally calmly, and then let it go. Chances are everyone else is just as fed up with this person as you are. They will see that it's just another one of this person's tirades and will start to follow you. They too will remove themselves from this person's path, seeing how calm and relaxed you are not being involved with this toxic person. If they don't, it's not your problem. Take care of yourself.
• Take Responsibility
  For your health! It's YOUR health. If you don't take care of yourself, who will? No one. Are you going to continue to let this person shape your life for the worse? Allow yourself to feel the effects of their negativity so much that it is effecting your health? They take and never give. Who is to blame? Them? No! They are always going to do what they do. What they do to YOU is up to YOU. No one else. If you don't want to be treated poorly, don't allow it. Do what you have to do to take control of your life. If that means no longer engaging someone in a conversation because you KNOW it's going to turn sour, don't! If you know that just by being around a certain toxic person brings you down and causes you to feel horrible for days, weeks later, then limit or restrict your contact with that person. You are in charge of your life, of you. Don't let others bring you down. You have to take care of your health so that you can take care of all the other things and people in your life you are responsible for.

So, there you have it. My quick tip list for dealing with the toxins in your environment.

There are many other ways in which you can save your sanity and your health. If you have any additional ideas and tips, please share! We can all use additional tools in our arsenal against our toxic common enemy.

Giving In & Letting Go...How to Open Yourself Up to Possibilities in Healing

I've been thinking about the importance of some of the crap we humans have to endure and survive lately. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. People who play by the rules. People who say please and thank you. People that just do good and are good. I mean, honestly, don't we all find it crazy making to witness lightning striking in the path of good people.

Yet...does lightning ever ask?
Or does it just strike?

Good people, bad people. It strikes us all. It's simply a part of life, like it or not.

And we could willy-nilly go on accepting that lightning will strike us and those we know at random times during our life. For the most part, I think we all do just accept it and move on. Except when the big ones hit. Then we want to know why. Demand to know why. To what end did this happen? How does something bad happening to someone good fit in the grand scheme of things?

Because, honestly, humanly, horrible things happening to anyone doesn't seem to make any sense...

Only, once we start down the worn road of questioning the Universe, this Great Mystery we call life, it's easy to get bogged down in the wondering and the why'ing. How on Earth are we to think positively - or better yet, find a way to accept and move on - from the lightning that strikes in our lives and in the lives of those we know and love?

This is the main ingredient I've been chewing on lately. Do we just dwell in the darkness of the why's? Because that's easy to do. Forget life. Forget God. Forget ever breaking back into the light. I know. I've been there. Seen many people I know and love get stuck.

Yet, and this might be a stretch for some, but....there's something to having the unthinkable happen to you. Forget all the, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger/weirder," sayings. What I'm talking about it is much greater. And can help you live through and move on along your healing journey.

You just have to do One. Hard. Impossible. Thing.

Give in.

Give in to the possibility that it - everything - is meant to be. Meant to happen.

I've always believed everything happens for a reason. That belief came after a few big booming lightning strikes took me out of the game for a few years (aka, a decade). To bounce back from them, there was one sure fire way to get back into living and loving life.

BY GIVING IN.

Give in to the possibility that what happened, happened for a purpose...

This can be a hard concept to accept. Why? Because to do so, you have to do one more impossibly hard thing.

LET GO.

Let go of your own concept of what life is.
Let go of who you think is in charge.
Let go of the could-have-been's in your life.

There comes a time - and sometimes, many times - in our lives that we are presented with a notion, a thought, an arbitrary line of thinking, that maybe, just maybe, things could have been different. Life - its ups and down, its challenges, its crosses to bear - could have been different. Would have been.

If only I had made that one choice differently...things would have turned out, different.

Let Go.

Let go of the past. Let go of the could have been... Let go.

and

Give In.

Give in to the notion that something great can and will come of this.

I know. This took me years to accept, discover. Sometimes, it's insanely hard to fathom something good coming out of something bad.

Yet...

The only way to find light in darkness - no matter the saturation- is to let go of the darkness. Let go of the wondering, the why'ing. Why me? Why now? Why? Why? Why? If you don't let go, then questions and worry will be all you ever have. All that will ever be brought to you.

What you put out into the Universe, the Universe sends back to you.

If you let go and give in, something extraordinary will happen. It can happen right away...or it can happen years from now. And that's what may be the hardest thing about letting go: the unknown. You don't know what's going to come of this. Or when. Or how.

Scary.

But you can do it. Let go...

Of your frustrations.
Of your worry.
Of your hope.

Yes, that too. If you're always looking down a path, straining to see the light, hoping you won't miss it, you might not see something glistening off to the side.

So, let go.

And give in.

Give in to any and all possibility. The answer you want, crave, need, may not ever come in the form you desire. That's the importance of letting go; let go of ALL your expectations.

We don't know why bad things happen to us. To anyone. But they are a part of life. By being giving in and letting go, we can help facilitate the healing that is all important to our life and well being.

So, that's your homework. Two really simple impossible things to do...that I know you can do:

1. Let Go.
2. Give in.


Peace be with you, now and always,
Lia Mack

What's Next, Zombies?!

A little while back, we had an earthquake and a hurricane, all in one week.

Hurriquake 2011

lol...

no, really, a friend of mine actually thought of making t-shirts ;)

So, a few days later, here I was, driving around after the storm blew over and the waters receded, and I saw a sign posted in Annapolis - prim and proper Annapolis of all places! - that asked the simple, yet obvious question:

What's next, zombies?!

Hilarious. And as someone who is just coo-coo for some zombies - The Walking Dead this Sunday!! - I couldn't help the giggles.

But, you know? It's a perfectly logical question. And life....doesn't life just seem like that sometimes? Like when things start falling apart, blowing up, one thing after another after another after another...all we can think is, what more could possibly happen?!

Zombies, I tell you. It's the only possible answer.

No, really, there's no such thing as zombies. And that's the point I'd like to make in this blissfully beguiling Friday blog post. Don't sweat it. You have no idea what's to come. Just be prepared by staying sane (and keeping a healthy pantry) and all will be good. No matter what life throws at you - oh, please no fast moving zombies, please! - don't waste your now worrying about what may or may not come.

And what's the deal with fast moving zombies anyway? What moron thought up that one?! Totally takes the fun out of trying to survive, IMHO (in my humble opinion).

Besides: Dead decaying matter doesn't move fast. Not at all.

Don't just survive. Have fun. 

Enjoy life! Be present in your here and now. We all have something(s) going on with us and/or around us. Some of us may be at a lull, some of us may be battling oncoming traffic on a regular basis. But dwelling on the thing or things that's piling up on us won't make life any fun. It'll make it miserable.

And do you think God put you here to be miserable?

Think about that one. Did He? She? It? However you see God, what do you think? Are you supposed to dwell in misery or do your best at blissfully beguiling in everyday life? And if you picked the latter - which is the correct answer, by the way - who's responsibility is it to ensure you enjoy yourself, your life, to the fullest?

Your spouse? Your parent? Your friends? Your doctor? God?...You?

Not a trick question.

Being prepared, living life to your own view of its fullest, being PRESENT in what's going on with you here and now - not past or future, but now - is totally all you.

Your responsibility.

Not your boss. Not your kids. Not your imaginary friend. You.

Great, huh? One more thing to deal with... No No NO! Why so glum?! This is the fun part of life! Doing what you want to do, love to do, set out to do. DO IT! Have fun with it! And if it doesn't work out, remember...you had fun trying!!! AND (drum roll please) you'll be in the company of those who were also brave enough to do what they love and wanted to do, whatever that may be.

Even if that means, for some, running away from zombies ;)

And don't sweat the small and not so small stuff. We are all there. We are all in this together - just some of us disguise our troubles and problems better than others. But worrying about and dwelling on the junk we all have to endure just makes things worse.

Don't agree? Here, listen to what my doctor told me yesterday (and tell me if this makes sense...)

"So you have ____ (you fill in the blank: An illness. Problem in-laws. A crazy person clawing at your door. Whatever). So you have this," my doc says to me. "That's like 2+2=4. It's normal. But, you if you have ____(again, fill in your blank) and you add getting worried or stressed over it, it'll be like 2+2+2=11. Meaning, you'll make yourself bananas!"

So, in other words...or in the words of my doctor...

Don't go bananas! 

Take worry and stress out of the equation, get back to reality - life, it's a roller coaster, get used to it - and just keep going. "Enjoy your life!" Again, more words from the banana doctor.

Do what you love in addition to dealing with life in general.

You don't want to get to the end of your life and think, "well, gee...I never really did do what I always wanted/loved/dreamed of doing. Huh...."

That's not what you want, is it?

Wouldn't it be more fun to think, "well, gee...I tried, I failed, I succeeded. Damn, that was fun. I loved my life. Yep. I sure did..."

Zombies n'all.

;)

And I'm Back...Tangents And All

HELLO OUT THERE!

So long I've been gone, no?

Lots to talk about, lots of lost time. I stopped writing - blogging, noveling, everything - back in May because, well, let's face it. The ol'brain just wasn't workin' right ;) And I winky-smile after saying that because, well, let's face it. If you can't smile, what's the point?

;)

So, what's new... Well, I've got the house almost to myself right now, and it's silent! Two in school, three taking a nap. The hubby wanted me to brine a whole chicken over night and roast it for dinner, so that's about to get going into the oven. Who ever heard of brining a chicken for 24 hours, I don't know...but I guess I left the TV on the Food Network channel and when Mr. Hubby turned it on to watch football over the weekend...well, let's just say his tummy was inspired.

How many times can I say, "well, let's just say" in a blog post? ;)

I'll stop with the repetition with that one, but not the winky-winks. I'm a winker. A flirt. Got to wink. Got to be comical. Got to be sweet. That's me ;)

Back in High School - in southern Italy, no less - I was called just that. "The Flirt"...as if there weren't any others out there sashaying it up in the halls (well, hall. The school was so small, we only had one hall. 25 people in my graduating class! We were like family...still are! :)

And I'm back...tangents and all.

So, I was "The Flirt" and I loved all the attention that I got from just being me. I know I had no intention on being a flirt, I just love life! I love hanging out with people, no matter who - guys, girls, geeks, greeks - and I think that's where the nickname conjured up from. I didn't live in a clique. I cliqued with everyone :) I did hang out predominantly with one particular clique - "The Ho's" - but that's an entirely different blog post all together! LOL...oh, my...funny funny.

And don't think for a second that they minded at all that they were called the, you know what's. They picked the name themselves! My first day of school, I remember walking down our hall and into a group of happy, pretty smiles. And the biggest smile of them all - a dear friend of mine still to this day - asked with all her wonderful exuberance, "Hey, you're new. You want to be friends with us? We're the Ho's!" And thus a grand gift of friendships was born.

And maybe that's where the nickname came from also. I hung out with my friends who were quite chummy with the guys - our guys, visiting school guys, GI's (our school was on a military base), and so I guess it was assumed that I was equally as chummy. But I had no clue back then what a ho even was. Honestly, I really was that naive and yes, this blonde. Before I moved to Italy, I was back in Colorado climbing mountains and climbing trees. I was a very young 14 when I moved to Italy and had no clue. But I had fun despite it!

Yep. Life as a blonde really is better ;)

Oh, but I learned my lesson eventually, as I'm sure we all do. And a lesson I did learn... Stopped my flirtatiousness for the better of eh, let's say, twenty years. Hurtful people can kill a part of you... Thankfully God was looking out for me all that time, or I'd never have met the brined chicken lover who is the perfect fit to my puzzle.

God - The Universe - always looking out for us. We just have no clue how this puzzle will ever fit together until we see the whole picture.

Which brings me to a fantastic tangent. After quitting all that I love back in May to focus on just trying to live (and I mean it. LIVE. Been pretty unlucky as of late. But don't think that'll hold me down for long. I insist on living, and living WELL. Testa dura...that's me!) I was going to blog about it, but I'd rather focus on the positive - making this shit go away and/or living better with it. No more complaining about it.

Soooo...

Because I'm so blessed, I got to spend a good portion of July out in San Diego visiting my lovely sister-in-law. Oh, and of course my brother :) And would you know it? I felt PERFECT!!! Check out what POTS is all about and at home I have it all - including the hypovolemia.

BUT!! OMG. Out in San Diego?!?!? I was 90% better!!!

90 percent.

Better.

Hello!

So, of course, when I had to leave and fly back to the east coast - where all my POTS symptoms returned in 10 minutes - I told hubby, "We're moving. I can't live like this anymore." I'm young, I have young children, and I refuse to live handicap, ESPECIALLY if I don't have to!!!

Being the practical, factual, logical thinker he is, although he was happy that I could live POTS free, we needed to do some research, make sure it wasn't just seasonal. That I'd feel fine there all year long. It is a pretty big thing to pick up and move cross country with no where to live or work with two kids...

After a bit of a battle of hearts and heads, I simmered down and started to try to see it his way. Okay. I need to know for sure this wasn't just a fluke (ha! as if feeling 90% better instantly is something to second guess...) So, how to get out to Cali at different times of the year to test out my theory.

Think, Lia. Think...

While thinking, I got bored, started surfing the web and updating my facebook page. Had to "Like" San Diego because, hello! It "Likes" me! ;) And while I was on San Diego's facebook page, I saw they were hosting a "200K Likes Contest" with a prize..."Like us, then Like the Hilton at Torey Pines, and you'll be entered to win a 5 night stay at the Hilton!"

Well, gee! That's easy...

Click.

Click.

So I "Liked" San Diego and "Liked" the Hilton too. And kind of whispered to God that, if this move should happen, that it really is the only thing that I can do to feel - live- better, it would be really stellar to win this contest so I could bring Hubby along and Mr. Practical-Logical can see for himself.

AND GUESS WHAT?

GUESS!!!!

:)

I won.

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG. Or, rather. OTYG - Oh Thank You God! ;)

So, come Spring Break, Hubby and I are flying out to live it up in San Diego. Just the two of us. Like a date! Wow, I'm so excited! He's, of course, dreading seeing the light, therefore he'll have to figure out the move. "Why so practical?!" I say. "Just have fun. We'll land on our feet."

I always do ;)

And I'm planning a quick trip by myself to So Cal this winter, so that takes care of summer, winter and spring. If I feel great all those seasons, I think it's safe to say I'll feel fantastic all year round. Seeing I only get, at tops, a month here (a few weeks in spring plus a few weeks in fall) that I feel good here, I'd say this is a NO BRAINER.

We're going.

But, yes. I married a cautious man, so I will give him two years of dealing with this on the east coast so we have time to figure things out. I can do it. Have been for a while now. That way we're not just jumping blindfolded...although, if you ask me, that's way more fun! ;)

So, yep. I'm excited! ;) Someone asked what would we possibly do - by ourselves - for 5 nights in sunny southern California...

LOL... I love it when people give me a reason to smile, laugh.

So, that's a taste of what's been up. The weather's getting cooler, the humidity is feigning away - Go away! And there's a really hot pair of leopard print pumps in my future. Standing up in a wedding in a few weeks. At a pumpkin festival! The dress is super sweet. Just hope it doesn't snow. The dress is sleeveless and to the knees! However, I look great in it, and the shoes are so awesome, I bet I'll be feeling too hot to care ;)

Oh, and before I know it, Thanksgiving will be here. And I declared last Thanksgiving that the next one, I'd like to host. So, I'm hosting! :) Can't wait.

Hope everyone's doing well out there!

Glad to be back.

:)

Dealing With Life's Ups & Downs...Mostly Downs...

Nothing do, but smile through.
Smile through...

This has become my new mantra as of late. A few too many overwhelming items plopped onto my plate, what else can I do?

Cry?
Complain?

You do too many of either one and you start loosing people to cry to, complain to, talk to...

Then what? You end up alone. No good. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... no matter how much that cliche hurts your head to say it, read it, write it. Just do it. Make your damned lemonade.

And smile through.

It might feel a little like living life by a lie, however, sometimes it's best to do just that. No one really wants to hear how you really feel. They're overwhelmed themselves. Just smile and nod and do something fun. Buy something nice. Go somewhere warm. No harm in that, right?

At the very least you'll be out and about doing something else with someone who can still stand to be around you. Heck, they might even like to be around you ;)

So what if you have some illness or situation that can't ever be resolved. Does it mean that you have to talk about it - and only it - all.the.bloody.time?!

I get stuck on things. Negative things. Bad things. Especially things that linger and stick around and get stuck on me. In me. But what good does it do for me or you to stay stuck on these things? Sure, we work through them.

Maybe.
Mostly.

However, that one lame thing that we keep thinking and talking about starts to define us. And people, unless they're in the mood to talk about it or listen to you talk about it, well, they'll stop coming around. And then, again, you're alone. No fun.

So...

Smile through I say.

Whatever it is that's got your panties in a bunch, just blow it off. Who needs it!

Yes, you're having a bad day because of it. So is probably 70% of the population (I'm being optimistic here, I know). But do we really have to talk about it?

Fogetaboutit...

Crank your brain and think real hard for something better to talk about. Think about. Go out and do something fun. And whatever that is, make that your mainstay diet of conversation. Pretty soon that awesomeness will start to become you instead of that crappiness that had you so overworked you couldn't think or talk about anything but.

And yes...sometimes we might have to just be silent if we can't think of anything nice to say or do. But there's no harm in that. That's actually a very good practice. The only way to bring peace into your life is to be at peace.

So smile through, I say.

Nothing do, but smile through.

Back in the Swing of Things... Writing After a Break

Anyone else just now rising out of the ashes of this past holiday's chaotic-fun? All I have to say is, geeze laweeze (or however you spell it).... Every year I vow to not allow the holidays to derail me from my on going routine and goals. Yet, every year seems to still get away from me.

Now, I'm not altogether a total ba humbug. I'm not. (My husband says I am, but really, I'm not. Honest!) I do love all the added bliss, yummy food, good times, and great company. It's just, well, too much. And too long. Especially for the procrastinators....

Ah...there it is. Yes. I'm a fantastic procrastinator. Wait until the last minute and there's no way to keep your sanity or happiness about any changes in the regularly scheduled program. Hence, next year as part of my list of New Year Resolutions, I'm only going to do holiday planning, prep, and run around between the day after Thanksgiving and December 1st. If it's not done by December, it's not that important. That way I have a whole month of free days to, oh, cook some cookies for fun. Or put together a gingerbread house for fun. All decoration and letters and shopping will be done and out of the way.

My goal: to have fun without going nuts and getting stressed...

Which brings me to 'getting back into the swing of things'. The one major part of my everyday blissful life that gets put on the back burner during the holidays is my writing. Between work and kids and the house and everything else, too many to list, where does taking time for yourself come in? No where is what I've found. By the time you do find a moments rest, all you have energy for IS rest. And when you wake up, you feel like crap because you haven't done a darn thing for yourself in over a month. Yes, you've showered. Yes, you've brushed your teeth. However, those things aren't necessarily for you. You do have to venture into the outside world without making everyone around you run screaming from the horror.

What you haven't done is take time for you. To do what you want, like, need to do. Things that not only SAY you, but leave you feeling like, yes, I DO live inside my own skin! I DO have control over my life and what happens to me and how I feel about me and everything around me. For some people that might be any number of things. For me, that's writing.

Even writing this now, I feel stiff. Like the words aren't flowing like they normally do when I give myself the opportunity to write every day. This post so far, IMO, sucks. I just don't see my voice here at all. Yet. But give it time, I always say (well, actually, that was the first time I've said it, but hey. Gotta start somewhere...) So, give it time. Eventually you will see yourself again. Feel yourself again. Be yourself again.

And I feel it coming back now, like a slow rising sun. It is inevitable. It will come back. It just takes a break for the night. That break from your writing, whether self or else induced, is only temporary. The only way to get back to writing is easy. We all know it. Say it with me now: just write! You write more if you write. It's the most simple solution, some people can miss it.

There will always be that group of emerging writers who want to become brilliant writers, yet are still asking how to do it. How do I write better? How do I do it? Answer? Write! Not many things in life are so nicely packaged into one wonderful word, so take it and run blissfully into the sunset with it. If you want to write, as I really want to get back to my writing, the answer is simple (even though I've spent two paragraphs explaining it...) Write. Just write. Sit down. Write. Done ;)

And don't beat yourself up over needing to stretch a bit when you are getting back into the swing of writing after a break. Don't touch your most important work, however, until you're really back back. Start slow, just as with any exercise routine. Stretch, walk, jog a bit. Then run. You don't want to make a disaster of what you had done before your break. Write a blog post. Scribble in your journal. Do it everyday. Everyday without excuse. 200 words minimum. Sounds like a tiny bit, but this is only a stretching exercise. After about a week, or less, you'll be back in the swing of things. And in no time, back to writing 2500 words, 5000 words a day.

How blissful is that?

; )

Happy 'Green' Birthday - Green birthday party ideas

It's that time of year again: cake, presents, and goodie-bags...it's Birthday party time! Planning a child's birthday party can be fun and dreadful at the same time. A party is a wonderful way to celebrate the life of your wee little one. However, all the waste that it can create can drive a 'green' parent nuts!

The last party we had for the kids ended in tears (from me, that is). Sure, some of the paper products were recycled in my clearly marked containers.. However most of our reusables ended up in the trash with unwanted cake and dinner tossed in with them. I attempted to dig them out, which was absolutely gross, however I was more frazzled by the thoughtlessness of some of my guests. Hadn't I, ever so nicely, instructed everyone to reuse and recycle properly? And we won't even mention the countless gifts and wrapping and money spent and...well, the list can go on and on.

Okay, so not everyone is 'green' savvy and even the best intentions can end up in a hit-or-miss situation. So what's a green parent to do? I'd like to share with you some, dare I say, fail proof ways to have a green birthday party!

First and foremost, I say make it a combination of a traditional and reinvented green birthday party. You can't expect everyone to jump on board and be amused by your ever-green ways. So let's compromise (or at least that is what it will look like on the surface :))

Invitations: There are tons of cool ways to do invites that will make you smile green. You can simply bi-pass paper all together and use an online invite service or email all of your guests individually. But what about those folks not online. Or worse, those who never read and/or respond to your emails?

Let's look at some paper options. Kids love to be involved in planning and helping out with their parties. So why not collect some paper from around the house and make your own invites out of handmade recycled paper. Paper making is fun and you can really jazz it up and make your invites unique. Another option would be to call everyone and leave a message, maybe telling them to check their email :).

Party Decorations: Streamers and balloons are so old school. Let's think with our green-caps.... For my son's upcoming birthday party, we are going to decorate some old sheets with fabric paints and use them as table cloths and napkins. We can reuse these for all birthday celebrations in the future too. Also, you can cut small streamers from the same fabric and use them as decorations, just simply hang them where they will dance in the breeze. This is a great idea to use in lieu of balloons. They just end up being swallowed by baby turtles. So sad. If you don't have any bed sheets you aren't using, I bet your local fabric store has some festive threads that you can get a yard or two of.


Presents: Oh, the presents. I have to say that this is the part I dread the most. Not only wondering what in the world to buy for someone else's kid and them not liking it, but what will everyone else buy my kids!? Plus, how much stuff do the kids really need? (I know, I'm a buzz kill.)

I don't know about you, but my kids have enough, and there are kids out there that don't. One option would be to host a party where instead of gifts for your kids, guests bring gently used or new toys to donate to a local shelter. Your child can pick which one and then help you make the delivery.

Another idea is to think local and register your child at a local toy store. And I don't mean the big-box corporate toy stores. Ask around, take a drive. We have such a store here and it's filled with special gifts and good quality games and toys you won't find at the big toy store.

You can even ask guests to get your child a book in lieu of a card and write a personal note in the book. What child doesn't love books! Also, you can send your guests home with a book in their goodie-bag. Everyone brings gently used books that they are done with for a new one. Sort of a book-swap party.

Another great idea is to instead ask for 'experience gifts' where someone can get your child a ticket to a show, a pass to a near by aquarium or museum. A camping trip anyone? These experiences will last a lifetime and won't break, make a disaster of the house, are more fun and can involve other members of the family too. Everyone wins :)

My favorite way to deffer gifts is to, instead of gifts, ask guests to bring their kids favorite dish for everyone to share. Not only do you get a great variety of foods, this also cuts down on your own party costs. This brings us to the best part of the party.

The food: Asking guests to bring food is great. If you are going to do it all yourself (for those supermoms and superdads out there) try to have all vegetarian foods so that all table scraps can be readily composted. Visit the farmer's market the week of for some fresh local produce.

If you do have to fire up the grill to satisfy the meat-eaters, buy local. Introduce your guests to some of the unknown local possibilities like local farmers and ranches. Not everyone knows about CSA's and local places where they can get fresh organic veggies and free-range meats.

Dishes and such: I like to use cloth whenever I can. Why cut down a tree to wipe my hands one time and toss? It's insane. Here you can use your reusable birthday bash table cloths and napkins. The washing machine does all the work. It's no big deal, looks great, and feels great too. You'll save money and the trees :) As for dishes and utensils, if you are partying at home, use your own dishes. There are also some great reusable dish sets out there. If you are out and about at your local park for your birthday bash, there are some great compostable alternatives. Potato forks, corn spoons, PCW paper products. Check online or at your local green grocery store.

Goodie-Bags and Games: Last but not least, the goodie-bags. The little bags you give your guests on the way out the door. Filled with tiny junky plastic toys that are not only a chocking hazard, but are cheap, break, and probably have toxic lead paint! Not to mention the candy. Kids + candy...honestly. But you can't not have them. The kids love to have something to go home with. They're kids ;) So let's think outside the bag, shall we.

Kids love crafts. So why not have them make something that they in turn take home, and in a bag that they decorate themselves! Or, better yet, you and your child can decorate some brown paper bags before the party that you can use. For my son's upcoming party, we are going to make some bags and the kids will use them to bring home their handmade bird feeders. Send the kids off to find pine cones., add peanut butter, sprinkle bird seed, and presto! Other ideas could include: Treasure hunts, have them make tie dye t-shirts, set up a paint-a-picture station, show them how to make homemade play dough.

With a little imagination and ingenuity, the possibilities are endless. I hope you enjoy your next birthday party 'green' style. I'm off to get mine underway. Wish me luck!


REPRINT PERMISSION
(this is a reprint from my blog in 2007 as seen at www.livegreensd.com/blog) If you'd like to reprint this blog or any part of it, you must first get my permission. Email me and I'll give it to you! Thanks!)

Critique Groups...When to Say Good-Bye

I'm free!

I just quit my critique group and I feel so free and alive and able to write and think and be creative again! I started feeling smothered about 6 months ago, but I trekked on, thinking I'd be a quitter if I left. Other people love critique groups, so I should stay, right? I'm learning a lot about good and bad writing, enjoying getting together with other writers, so I should stay, right?

But after the last round of critiques, I knew I had to cut the rope. I no longer heard my characters in my head. I couldn't think of one new story idea, when before I'd usually come up with one or two a day, just out of no where. My creativity was dying. For the past 3 months, I haven't been able to think of anything. No new ideas, no new characters, nothing!

So I decided to just do it. FOR ME. I knew it was the right thing for ME to do and for MY writing. I just felt like my writing style and voice were being distracted, changed... Although I learned how to edit thoroughly and how to just get to the point, say what I wanted to say in my writing, I no longer heard/felt my writing. I knew I'd miss the writing friendships I made, but I also knew it was time to move on.

Do I regret quitting?

The moment I drove away from my final meeting, a new story idea popped into my head. And I felt I could breathe again, write for myself again. I felt free.

I don't want to step on anyone's toes, of course. I know some people live by their critique groups. And I applaud every writer for doing for themselves and for their writing what works for them. I do. I did learn some great lessons while in the group - what good and bad writing looks like and how to read for the craft better. 

But I also had to do for myself what works for me. I need to only hear my own voice in my head (and that of my characters). Otherwise I can't do it. I can't take my story where I want it to go. 

Every writer is different. And everyone writes differently.

Taking my time, waiting my turn to be critiqued, waiting to edit based on others input... it all started to feel like 'a hobby', casually going through the motions, taking my sweet ol'time... Personally, I know I'll never get anything done that way. 

I can't go slow. 

That isn't my speed. And I found that when I went slow everything stopped. Internally, externally. I couldn't write anymore. The way I finished my first draft was to write, every day, like a job, taking no breaks, no turns, no excuses.

Yet, every path is part of the process. I tried it out, liked it for a while, then found it wasn't working for me anymore. So, even though I walked away, said good-bye, I know I'm not a quitter. I chose to take charge and get back to treating my writing like a career. To get back to writing for me. Writing every day. Write, write, write.

So, time to get back to work. No more hiatus.

!