What are Body Memories? And How to Heal Them....

Recently I was invited to be a guest blogger at www.survivormanual.com. My superhero, Angela Shelton, asked me to write up an article. And whenever any of your superheros call on you, you answer! And with a smile :)

And a big ol'goofy grin it was. I have so so missed writing. Anything! It was so relaxing, better than a spa relaxing, to get the draft going, run some research, edit, edit and edit again.

And, what do you know? It's NANOMO again!!! :) That's right - National Novel Writing Month. I've participated the last three years and it's been exhilarating, crazy making fun. This year I'm concentrating on getting back into the grove, though. Not over doing it. That's why I was so thankful that cape-wearing Angela Shelton gave me a ring...eh, email ;). Something simple to get the fingers moving again.

Although, body memories are anything but simple.

Check out the article on The Survivor Manual if you get a chance. Pass it along to anyone out there that may benefit from such a great resource.

What's Next, Zombies?!

A little while back, we had an earthquake and a hurricane, all in one week.

Hurriquake 2011

lol...

no, really, a friend of mine actually thought of making t-shirts ;)

So, a few days later, here I was, driving around after the storm blew over and the waters receded, and I saw a sign posted in Annapolis - prim and proper Annapolis of all places! - that asked the simple, yet obvious question:

What's next, zombies?!

Hilarious. And as someone who is just coo-coo for some zombies - The Walking Dead this Sunday!! - I couldn't help the giggles.

But, you know? It's a perfectly logical question. And life....doesn't life just seem like that sometimes? Like when things start falling apart, blowing up, one thing after another after another after another...all we can think is, what more could possibly happen?!

Zombies, I tell you. It's the only possible answer.

No, really, there's no such thing as zombies. And that's the point I'd like to make in this blissfully beguiling Friday blog post. Don't sweat it. You have no idea what's to come. Just be prepared by staying sane (and keeping a healthy pantry) and all will be good. No matter what life throws at you - oh, please no fast moving zombies, please! - don't waste your now worrying about what may or may not come.

And what's the deal with fast moving zombies anyway? What moron thought up that one?! Totally takes the fun out of trying to survive, IMHO (in my humble opinion).

Besides: Dead decaying matter doesn't move fast. Not at all.

Don't just survive. Have fun. 

Enjoy life! Be present in your here and now. We all have something(s) going on with us and/or around us. Some of us may be at a lull, some of us may be battling oncoming traffic on a regular basis. But dwelling on the thing or things that's piling up on us won't make life any fun. It'll make it miserable.

And do you think God put you here to be miserable?

Think about that one. Did He? She? It? However you see God, what do you think? Are you supposed to dwell in misery or do your best at blissfully beguiling in everyday life? And if you picked the latter - which is the correct answer, by the way - who's responsibility is it to ensure you enjoy yourself, your life, to the fullest?

Your spouse? Your parent? Your friends? Your doctor? God?...You?

Not a trick question.

Being prepared, living life to your own view of its fullest, being PRESENT in what's going on with you here and now - not past or future, but now - is totally all you.

Your responsibility.

Not your boss. Not your kids. Not your imaginary friend. You.

Great, huh? One more thing to deal with... No No NO! Why so glum?! This is the fun part of life! Doing what you want to do, love to do, set out to do. DO IT! Have fun with it! And if it doesn't work out, remember...you had fun trying!!! AND (drum roll please) you'll be in the company of those who were also brave enough to do what they love and wanted to do, whatever that may be.

Even if that means, for some, running away from zombies ;)

And don't sweat the small and not so small stuff. We are all there. We are all in this together - just some of us disguise our troubles and problems better than others. But worrying about and dwelling on the junk we all have to endure just makes things worse.

Don't agree? Here, listen to what my doctor told me yesterday (and tell me if this makes sense...)

"So you have ____ (you fill in the blank: An illness. Problem in-laws. A crazy person clawing at your door. Whatever). So you have this," my doc says to me. "That's like 2+2=4. It's normal. But, you if you have ____(again, fill in your blank) and you add getting worried or stressed over it, it'll be like 2+2+2=11. Meaning, you'll make yourself bananas!"

So, in other words...or in the words of my doctor...

Don't go bananas! 

Take worry and stress out of the equation, get back to reality - life, it's a roller coaster, get used to it - and just keep going. "Enjoy your life!" Again, more words from the banana doctor.

Do what you love in addition to dealing with life in general.

You don't want to get to the end of your life and think, "well, gee...I never really did do what I always wanted/loved/dreamed of doing. Huh...."

That's not what you want, is it?

Wouldn't it be more fun to think, "well, gee...I tried, I failed, I succeeded. Damn, that was fun. I loved my life. Yep. I sure did..."

Zombies n'all.

;)

And I'm Back...Tangents And All

HELLO OUT THERE!

So long I've been gone, no?

Lots to talk about, lots of lost time. I stopped writing - blogging, noveling, everything - back in May because, well, let's face it. The ol'brain just wasn't workin' right ;) And I winky-smile after saying that because, well, let's face it. If you can't smile, what's the point?

;)

So, what's new... Well, I've got the house almost to myself right now, and it's silent! Two in school, three taking a nap. The hubby wanted me to brine a whole chicken over night and roast it for dinner, so that's about to get going into the oven. Who ever heard of brining a chicken for 24 hours, I don't know...but I guess I left the TV on the Food Network channel and when Mr. Hubby turned it on to watch football over the weekend...well, let's just say his tummy was inspired.

How many times can I say, "well, let's just say" in a blog post? ;)

I'll stop with the repetition with that one, but not the winky-winks. I'm a winker. A flirt. Got to wink. Got to be comical. Got to be sweet. That's me ;)

Back in High School - in southern Italy, no less - I was called just that. "The Flirt"...as if there weren't any others out there sashaying it up in the halls (well, hall. The school was so small, we only had one hall. 25 people in my graduating class! We were like family...still are! :)

And I'm back...tangents and all.

So, I was "The Flirt" and I loved all the attention that I got from just being me. I know I had no intention on being a flirt, I just love life! I love hanging out with people, no matter who - guys, girls, geeks, greeks - and I think that's where the nickname conjured up from. I didn't live in a clique. I cliqued with everyone :) I did hang out predominantly with one particular clique - "The Ho's" - but that's an entirely different blog post all together! LOL...oh, my...funny funny.

And don't think for a second that they minded at all that they were called the, you know what's. They picked the name themselves! My first day of school, I remember walking down our hall and into a group of happy, pretty smiles. And the biggest smile of them all - a dear friend of mine still to this day - asked with all her wonderful exuberance, "Hey, you're new. You want to be friends with us? We're the Ho's!" And thus a grand gift of friendships was born.

And maybe that's where the nickname came from also. I hung out with my friends who were quite chummy with the guys - our guys, visiting school guys, GI's (our school was on a military base), and so I guess it was assumed that I was equally as chummy. But I had no clue back then what a ho even was. Honestly, I really was that naive and yes, this blonde. Before I moved to Italy, I was back in Colorado climbing mountains and climbing trees. I was a very young 14 when I moved to Italy and had no clue. But I had fun despite it!

Yep. Life as a blonde really is better ;)

Oh, but I learned my lesson eventually, as I'm sure we all do. And a lesson I did learn... Stopped my flirtatiousness for the better of eh, let's say, twenty years. Hurtful people can kill a part of you... Thankfully God was looking out for me all that time, or I'd never have met the brined chicken lover who is the perfect fit to my puzzle.

God - The Universe - always looking out for us. We just have no clue how this puzzle will ever fit together until we see the whole picture.

Which brings me to a fantastic tangent. After quitting all that I love back in May to focus on just trying to live (and I mean it. LIVE. Been pretty unlucky as of late. But don't think that'll hold me down for long. I insist on living, and living WELL. Testa dura...that's me!) I was going to blog about it, but I'd rather focus on the positive - making this shit go away and/or living better with it. No more complaining about it.

Soooo...

Because I'm so blessed, I got to spend a good portion of July out in San Diego visiting my lovely sister-in-law. Oh, and of course my brother :) And would you know it? I felt PERFECT!!! Check out what POTS is all about and at home I have it all - including the hypovolemia.

BUT!! OMG. Out in San Diego?!?!? I was 90% better!!!

90 percent.

Better.

Hello!

So, of course, when I had to leave and fly back to the east coast - where all my POTS symptoms returned in 10 minutes - I told hubby, "We're moving. I can't live like this anymore." I'm young, I have young children, and I refuse to live handicap, ESPECIALLY if I don't have to!!!

Being the practical, factual, logical thinker he is, although he was happy that I could live POTS free, we needed to do some research, make sure it wasn't just seasonal. That I'd feel fine there all year long. It is a pretty big thing to pick up and move cross country with no where to live or work with two kids...

After a bit of a battle of hearts and heads, I simmered down and started to try to see it his way. Okay. I need to know for sure this wasn't just a fluke (ha! as if feeling 90% better instantly is something to second guess...) So, how to get out to Cali at different times of the year to test out my theory.

Think, Lia. Think...

While thinking, I got bored, started surfing the web and updating my facebook page. Had to "Like" San Diego because, hello! It "Likes" me! ;) And while I was on San Diego's facebook page, I saw they were hosting a "200K Likes Contest" with a prize..."Like us, then Like the Hilton at Torey Pines, and you'll be entered to win a 5 night stay at the Hilton!"

Well, gee! That's easy...

Click.

Click.

So I "Liked" San Diego and "Liked" the Hilton too. And kind of whispered to God that, if this move should happen, that it really is the only thing that I can do to feel - live- better, it would be really stellar to win this contest so I could bring Hubby along and Mr. Practical-Logical can see for himself.

AND GUESS WHAT?

GUESS!!!!

:)

I won.

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG. Or, rather. OTYG - Oh Thank You God! ;)

So, come Spring Break, Hubby and I are flying out to live it up in San Diego. Just the two of us. Like a date! Wow, I'm so excited! He's, of course, dreading seeing the light, therefore he'll have to figure out the move. "Why so practical?!" I say. "Just have fun. We'll land on our feet."

I always do ;)

And I'm planning a quick trip by myself to So Cal this winter, so that takes care of summer, winter and spring. If I feel great all those seasons, I think it's safe to say I'll feel fantastic all year round. Seeing I only get, at tops, a month here (a few weeks in spring plus a few weeks in fall) that I feel good here, I'd say this is a NO BRAINER.

We're going.

But, yes. I married a cautious man, so I will give him two years of dealing with this on the east coast so we have time to figure things out. I can do it. Have been for a while now. That way we're not just jumping blindfolded...although, if you ask me, that's way more fun! ;)

So, yep. I'm excited! ;) Someone asked what would we possibly do - by ourselves - for 5 nights in sunny southern California...

LOL... I love it when people give me a reason to smile, laugh.

So, that's a taste of what's been up. The weather's getting cooler, the humidity is feigning away - Go away! And there's a really hot pair of leopard print pumps in my future. Standing up in a wedding in a few weeks. At a pumpkin festival! The dress is super sweet. Just hope it doesn't snow. The dress is sleeveless and to the knees! However, I look great in it, and the shoes are so awesome, I bet I'll be feeling too hot to care ;)

Oh, and before I know it, Thanksgiving will be here. And I declared last Thanksgiving that the next one, I'd like to host. So, I'm hosting! :) Can't wait.

Hope everyone's doing well out there!

Glad to be back.

:)

Dealing With Life's Ups & Downs...Mostly Downs...

Nothing do, but smile through.
Smile through...

This has become my new mantra as of late. A few too many overwhelming items plopped onto my plate, what else can I do?

Cry?
Complain?

You do too many of either one and you start loosing people to cry to, complain to, talk to...

Then what? You end up alone. No good. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... no matter how much that cliche hurts your head to say it, read it, write it. Just do it. Make your damned lemonade.

And smile through.

It might feel a little like living life by a lie, however, sometimes it's best to do just that. No one really wants to hear how you really feel. They're overwhelmed themselves. Just smile and nod and do something fun. Buy something nice. Go somewhere warm. No harm in that, right?

At the very least you'll be out and about doing something else with someone who can still stand to be around you. Heck, they might even like to be around you ;)

So what if you have some illness or situation that can't ever be resolved. Does it mean that you have to talk about it - and only it - all.the.bloody.time?!

I get stuck on things. Negative things. Bad things. Especially things that linger and stick around and get stuck on me. In me. But what good does it do for me or you to stay stuck on these things? Sure, we work through them.

Maybe.
Mostly.

However, that one lame thing that we keep thinking and talking about starts to define us. And people, unless they're in the mood to talk about it or listen to you talk about it, well, they'll stop coming around. And then, again, you're alone. No fun.

So...

Smile through I say.

Whatever it is that's got your panties in a bunch, just blow it off. Who needs it!

Yes, you're having a bad day because of it. So is probably 70% of the population (I'm being optimistic here, I know). But do we really have to talk about it?

Fogetaboutit...

Crank your brain and think real hard for something better to talk about. Think about. Go out and do something fun. And whatever that is, make that your mainstay diet of conversation. Pretty soon that awesomeness will start to become you instead of that crappiness that had you so overworked you couldn't think or talk about anything but.

And yes...sometimes we might have to just be silent if we can't think of anything nice to say or do. But there's no harm in that. That's actually a very good practice. The only way to bring peace into your life is to be at peace.

So smile through, I say.

Nothing do, but smile through.

The Nook, The Book, & The Hook

My husband and I just celebrated our anniversary. 11 years of blissful love...

Before the big day, my husband said I was going to like the gift he got for me. Many questions later, all I got out of him was that I had 14 days to decide if I liked it or not... and it's electronic...

When I opened my gift a few days later, after mentioning in passing conversation that I never wanted one of those reader thingies, that I love the feel of a real book in hand, I opened my gift - a Nook.

In all sincerity, I tried to act surprised, happy, and interested. He reminded me I had 14 days and if I didn't like it, we could return it. No hurt feelings. He's a guy. Enough said.

I went through the tutorial, almost, but I lost interest. He loves electronics and went about setting it up for me. And I did try to borrow some of his exuberance, yet walking around the house afterwards, seeing all my books strewn about on table tops, night stands, coffee tables, steps, in bathrooms, next to the pool, on the banister, I couldn't help but know in my heart of hearts that I was never going to fall in love with the Nook. It just didn't feel real.

My books, even the wide assortment I borrow from the library and have to give back after I've fallen in love with them, are like friends to me. I enjoy seeing books all around me, piled up, laying about.

And when I see any given one of them - like Real Cajun sitting on the table next to my laptop right now - I am instantly brought back into the past conversations we've had. And with each book, each friend, I have different conversations going on...

Real Cajun by Donald Link
Secrets to Happiness by Sarah Dunn
Effective Writing by Bruce Ross-Larson
Deeper by Megan Heart

These are the titles of my most current friends, and if you look into any of these books, you can see just how varied our conversations are! ;)

Point being, I love a real book. Love to lay them out, pile them high, anywhere along my path, so that in passing I'll see them again, maybe pick one up for a quick moment alone, maybe just daydream a bit about the story inside.

With the Nook, I just couldn't see myself able to do any of that. I'm a visual person. I need to have my books around me, in view. Or I feel I might loose out on that ongoing conversation, forget to pick up a good old friend that I haven't seen in a while because it's conveniently tucked away in some well organized list that I have to go find after turningg something on, recharging something.

It's just not real for me.

And that's what I said to the guy behind the counter when we went to return the Nook a few days later. Bored with it, I hadn't even registered it yet.

"But how do you know you're not going to like it if you don't even try?"

How do you explain to someone that I had already done so, in my head. I'm a writer. I can come up pretty quick whether or not a story line is going to work out. For me, I knew this one wouldn't.

"Most people who said they wouldn't like a reader LOVED it once they actually downloaded some books."

How do you explain to a sales person that you love FREE books from the library.

"But there are millions of free books that you can download into your NOOK!" This was said in a very my gosh, woman, aren't you stupid tone.

How do you explain that you don't CARE about those free books because you just want to happen upon a book at the library, book store, friends house, that looks good.

This was the hook that had caught my darling husband. He thought, frugal mama that I am, would love free books. And I do. I just don't want to have to do so on an electronic device that I have to charge, turn on, find my list, be bombarded with a list of a million books that I can read knowing full well I don't have enough time in my life to do so.

I just like what I like. I like real books.

"Wow. That's a shame." This, said not only by the Nook sales man behind the counter, but also three other Barnes & Nobles workers nearby, listening in on our conversation.

Steadfast in my opinion - I'm in my thirties, I've brought two children into this world sans medical intervention, I've been married for 11 years, I've seen the worst and best life can hand you, and I'm still ticking - I'm allowed to have one. No matter that it doesn't help add to your sales commission or that I'm the only person on earth who thinks this way. I don't doubt myself. I like real books!

And, I've studied advertising psychology. I'm impervious to sales hooks.

So I returned the Nook, purchased a real book, and went home happy. I know plenty of people that are in love with their reader, and I'm happy for them. Everyone deserves to be happy.

How about you?

Do you love the book? The Nook? Both? Or are you still on the fence?

What hooks you?

Maybe sometime in the future I'll try the Nook again, see if it's really the best thing going.
But for now, I see one of my books out of the corner of my eye - one of my friends - calling to me, its book cover my favorite shade of turquoise blue... And maybe after that, I'll look for a good Cajun recipe for dinner tonight inside one of my new friends.

:)

Where Do You Write? Creating a Writing Sanctuary...

It doesn't have to be big. It doesn't even have to be a room. And, contrary to popular belief (or want) it doesn't even have to segregate you from the rest of the world. Of course we'd all love to have that perfect little hideaway, secluded from noise and distraction.

"There, and only there, will I write my masterpiece..."

But where you write best sometimes doesn't come with it's own key.

I know I used to have one such place. Although it was situated in the belly of the house, my 'office' had a desk, carpeting, a window, and...drum roll please...a door. With a LOCK!!! No heat...but it was mine... whenever I could carve away even the tiniest amount of time alone to write.

One hour, one day, one minute....one minute....one minute...half a minute....

Except, more times than not, the moment I sat down with my hot cup of tea and vanilla-lavender candle a glow, someone needed me. Or someone popped in the door crying and screaming about this and that...

"He touched my toy!" the three year old cried.

"She hit me!" the five year old cried.

"My wife left me!" the thirty-five year old cried. "Oh, wait. There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" kiss, hug love... "The kids need you, honey."

Suffice to say, my room away from it all wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I hardly ever had more than ten continuous minutes to rub together. And when it takes me thirty minutes to 'get there', aka: into the story, ten ten minute increments of solitude a day isn't enough to eek out an outline, let alone an entire novel.

Surrendering, I took to the dining room table with my laptop. Or if the kids were downstairs, down to the table next to the play area. Outside on the patio table after a good amount of playing and gardening with the kids. Laptop open, manuscript ready, there I sat. Totally open. Totally available. Totally in the middle of things. My novel, my life as I only dreamed it, doomed...

But you know what?

By being out in the open...everyone leaves me alone more! I don't know if they only felt like they had to seek me out before when I was locked away by myself. Maybe it made them feel uncomfortable to have mommy out of the loop, unavailable for boo boo kisses and such. I don't know...kids, husbands...you know how they are ;) Now, when I sit down to write right where they are, they don't come looking for me.

Yes, I still get interrupted. Yes, I still have to stop mid-sentence to help locate a MIA toy or make a snack. For some reason, since I'm writing in the middle of the mix, when I do get asked to stop short and switch gears, I don't loose it, (aka: get taken out of my story) as much. My thinking process isn't stopped as much being out in the open, in the middle of things, as it did when I was totally immersed in solitude.

Maybe that's just it.

Perhaps creating a writing sanctuary doesn't have to involve candles, closed doors, and a window with a view. It just has to be 'where you write', whether it be the kitchen table or with no table at all.

Where do you write? How do you deal with the distractions and interruptions? Do you wait until everyone's gone to bed? Or carve out an hour or two on the weekend?

Ever since I left my room to write at the dining room table - an hour here, twenty minutes there, where I can hear and see everything going on around me - I feel as though I've not only written more consistently, but I've written better, as I can write everyday if I want. I don't need to wait for the perfect moment when everyone in the family has been taken care of and everything in the house is done. I can just say, "Hey, they don't need me for the next half hour. I think I'm going to write a little bit."

And I do.

;)

Deadlines, Editing, and My Unofficial Query Letter....UNofficial...

So, I totally blew my self-imposed deadline of March 23rd to have finished all edits and send out my first query letter. Death, taxes, 6 feet of snow, and the Olympics...all things totally unrelated, yet all things I've allowed to stray me away from my goal.

Therefore I'm imposing a more SANE deadline of "by summer", and this gives me time to polish and shine my query letter. A few weeks ago I polished and shined my "one sentence" pitch of my novel, and I am happy to say that I LOVE IT! No need to edit any further. Next step now, is to start with the paragraph synopsis of what happens in the novel, beginning to end, leaving nothing out...

How the hell?!?! The whole book, explained in detail, in one paragraph!?!?!?

Enter, the query letter...

Whether you snail mail or email an agent, you need to formulate one hell of a kick ass query letter to not only GET their attention, but also KEEP their attention.

I took a quick crack at swallowing my entire novel into one horribly written paragraph, just to see if I could manage to get all the major points in there (NOTE: there is much work to be done on this...the following is just for fun). But I did manage to capture the darkness of the novel, and then show that it all turns bright by the end. I think for me this will be my biggest challenge. I can't leave out the fact that my MC is a bit of a nut case in the beginning (of course 'nut case' by normal standards. I think she's fine, just needs a little TLC...we've bonded ;)

So, without further delay, here is one horribly written query for my amusement only (and yours too, I hope ;).

My novel opens with a past rape scene, moves forward to the present, where you see my MC living with the after effects of an abusive past, she goes to therapy, you are inside her head, see her odd living style, hear voices, all sorts of strangeness, until she breaks free from it all and finds a way to heal, finds her courage again, finds herself again...then she meets someone, falls in love, has a normal life, albeit there are still triggers from her past, some of which threaten to suck her back down into that deep black hole...but she's a new woman now, has tools to help her stay in her present and deal with her past, and she moves on and up and it's great at the end!

Phew!

That is one long run-on sentence ;)

Yet, somehow, I feel one tiny small step closer to my goal...Feel free to leave a link to your own horrible one paragraph synopsis!

;)

Body After Baby Challenge: I'm Joining!

Ok, so I joined the challenge...I'm motivated...but do I have any goals that I'm hoping to reach? Hmm, I don't know...do I?

I should, because having goals keeps up the motivation. So, ok, goals. Think, Lia, think...

Alright, I got it!

I don't have a goal weight in mind and I already fit into my pre-baby jeans, so I think my goals are going to go beyond the norm. That's ok with me, I enjoy my freedom outside the box ;)

I think I'll organize my Body After Baby Challenge goals into two separate parts:

Goal #1: Eat Healthy Choices Only
My main goal is to eat only organic, local, fresh, whole foods all week, no matter what meal/snack, so finding it within my budget...it'll be a challenge in and of itself! But I believe eating whole healthy foods without pesticides, growth hormones, and toxic chemicals is the way to go if you want to be healthy, not just look nice.

Goal # 2: Increase Activity Level Daily
Ha! Ha! This one's going to be hard. I am a runner and usually run 2-3 times a week, 3 miles as the norm. But I haven't run since November because of some weird health issues I've been having, and they've also been keeping me from my usual active lifestyle. Sooooo.... My goal is to add either some easy activity to every day, either yoga, walking, or dancing in the living room... :) I hope to get myself back into my normal swing of things, as I love being outdoors hiking and running and just being active! I think that's one of the best things about being alive.

I'll post updates too, because I think it's important to check in and make sure what you're doing is actually working.

My main goal is to feel as good - health wise - as I did before I had kids. Having kids is really hard on your body, and I want to get back in shape so I can keep up with everything and everyone I love. This might mean taking something that I don't want to take and seeing a few more docs to figure out this mystery thing. I don't know, I'm still up in the air about it...

Every week I'll keep track of how I feel in general and decide if the food/exercise choices I've made are working or need to be tweaked a bit.

My starting point right now?
Activity level = zero
Healthy Food Choices = so far, so good
weight = I'll tell if you tell!
pre-baby jeans = still fit, don't hate me

Ok, so you asked for goals, you got goals...I'll post weekly and see how this challenge pans out for me.

;)

Good-Bye 2009...Hello 2010! Bringing in the New Year with Peace, Love, and Good Health!

Happy New Year!!! Hope you had a great time bringing in the new year last night :)

I don't know about you, but I was actually glad to see 2009 go. It was a mentally exhausting year for my family.

True, a lot of good things happened in the course of that year that I am thankful for. I became an Aunt two more times, a new niece in August and a new nephew in December. I love babies. Plus it gave me the opportunity to watch my beautiful sister-in-law become a mother. And a beautiful mother she is.

However, watching my wonderful mother-in-law go through chemotherapy for breast cancer, helping to take care of her almost every week from January to June (whenever she'd let me help! ;), and watching her spirit drain out of her was how we started off 2009. Thankfully she made it through, has been doing good since, and had enough hair by Christmas to do it up nice. She's a spirited high energy woman that I want around for a long time. Yes, you heard me. I like my mother-in-law!!! :) How many people can say that? I hope and pray her 2010 is a healthy one!

The year also saw some of my best days. In the beginning of July, my husband and I celebrated our ten year anniversary! And our relationship is like a fine wine...as the years pass, it keeps getting better. Then a few weeks later I got to go to sunny southern California and run on the beach every morning, eat fresh local organic food each and every day. I felt fantastic! I've been having some of my own health issues and for some reason I didn't feel them while on vacation.... Fresh food, fresh air, beautiful vistas...Think I might have to make Del Mar my home sometime soon! ;)

Then I flew back to Maryland two weeks later that July...and not even two days passed before I experienced something that I hope and pray no one ever has to experience, ever. I watched a little boy die. Finding him. Calling 911. Watching them work on him. Holding his little hand, saying good-bye...

And for no reason. It was unexpected, unexplained. It happened just like that and the only reason the doctors and examiners can come up with is unexplained natural causes. Absolute horse shit.

Although we've become even closer to his mother and father, our good friends already, due to the tragedy, I'd rather have become better friends through something else. Like going on a week long vacation together, them with their kids and us with ours. We were planning something like that. Going to do it sometime in the future, not sure when. Don't we all plan something and take forever getting around to it, simply because we think we have time?

Why did this have to happen to little Andrew? How does a two year die for no known reason? One minute he was dancing with my daughter in the living room, playing with toys, and running around the house having a good ol'time. The next minute he was tired, laid down for a nap..can't wake him up. It wasn't SIDS. He was breathing, alive. But only faintly there...then gone.

It was SUDC - Sudden Unexplained Death in a Child. I agree with Andrew's father. The acronym should really be SUCD, because that's exactly it. It sucked. I hope no one has to live through that ever ever ever ever ever... The only thing I can pray for now, for Andrew's parents, is that they find peace and love in 2010. I know it has been hard for them. I know it'll never be the same or easy ever again. Anything that will bring them some peace of mind to help them through each day is what I hope for them for their new year.

My hopes for my own 2010? That it is an uneventful year. Sorry, but I just want it to be a quiet, low key year. Sure, I'd love to see my book finish it's edits and find an agent who wants to publish it. But I'll trade all of that for a year where nothing major happens. No one gets sick. No one dies.

So...Knowing that the Universe - God - gives you what you give, I'm getting all of this off my chest now so that I can start anew. Start this year on a good note, a happy note, a positive note. And you should do the same if you have any lingering angst against 2009. I am purging my negativity towards last year in hopes for a wonderful prosperous new year. I am filling up my heart, mind, words, thoughts, and spirit, with love, good things, peace.

Here's to a wonderful 2010 for everyone ...

Good health to all ... Peace of mind to all ... Love boundless to all

...

2010 Writing Resolutions...

I've been using my printed out first draft to start a fire and keep it burning all day long ...I just realized that it's sooooo different from my current draft due to all the edits and my writing is so much better now that I don't want anyone to read the first draft! My grandmother was in town for the holidays and took a few pages and started reading..."I can't tell what's going on, it's all over the place..." yeah...that's when I decided it was time to burn it .

Goal for 2010...finish edits by my end of March birthday and start submitting queries...and start my next book! Either the sequel to this one (The Bell Sisters Series)... or one of 5 other ideas I have stewing up in my head...

FUNNY: I told DH all my book ideas (all 6 of them, including the one I've already written) and he said, "Well, geee...no wonder you don't listen to me when I talk!"

Writing During the Holidays...

Ha! Writing during the holiday season?!

It's basically impossible, if you ask me.

Every free moment you run across gets taken up with getting those holiday cards out the door, trimming the tree, wrapping presents, cooking something to bring to holiday parties and cookie exchanges...and then there are the parties themselves! Fun, totally fun. But they take up all your weekends!

So writing...gets pushed to the back-burner for a month or two. I usually write off writing for the months of November and December, pun intended. And it sucks. All I want to do is finish my second draft so I can start submitting queries. Yet, I don't want to short-change my final product by half-assin' it either, know what I mean?

However, when you don't have the time to sit down and write, edit, it's a great time to jot down notes that come to mind. Keep a tally of all the chapters you want to re-work, darlings you want to kill, to make your final draft sparkle!

I could give you a list of ideas to help you sneak in some writing time. But I think taking a break during this season of too much is good for your writing in the end. Come January you'll be so geared up and excited to write! That you will have enough stamina to last you until next October ;)

So, keep a pad of paper and pen with you always to jot down those quick thoughts and ideas. And if you find chunks of uninterrupted time to write and actually get to partake in them?! Great! Write your heart out!

But don't hurt yourself. Take it easy and save up your energy for next year ;)

Not My Daughter...Read Chapter One!

Barbara Delinsky has done it again. Not My Daughter is her new upcoming book to be ready for sale early next year.

But don't despair...you can read the first chapter online now!!!

Be Your Characters...

They say write what you know and we all abide by that rule, to a certain extent at least. I mean, honestly, how can we really live the lives of all our characters.

We expand on what we know - add a little here, add a little there - until we create a world that is unlike our own. And that is what readers want: something to take them away from their everyday life...

So, how then, do we write what we know when all we want to do is blissfully drift off into the unknown?

Infusing a little reality with imagination is the key to creating the vastness that draws readers and writers alike into your story. A little real life practicality mixed with impromptu daydream drama can make for a rich conglomeration that not only paints a picture, but also peeks our interest to know more and more...

At the moment I'm attempting to do some of the things my main character does while on a last minute vacation mixed with family obligation. And I'm glad that I have. Not only have I realized that some of the locations wouldn't really work out as I had thought they would, but I've also discovered by chance some additional scenes that are going to enhance my story line.

As much fun as I'm having on vacation, I can't wait to get back to my own reality and start editing and adding some of these finds. But I'm glad that i have been doing this 'research' and eliciting the five senses to help me create a new world where my story not only takes place, but also lives...

45 Life Lessons... by Regina Brett

Numbers 29 and 32 made me LOL...oh, and number 40... ;)

Here's to having a great day!


Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative--dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Rules for Writers...

Today I'm taking a break from blogging to meditate on Barbara Delinsky's Rules for Writers. She has been my long time favorite author and her blog is always one that I refer to regularly for writing tips, ideas, and all that jazz ;)

"How to define a writer? I call it anyone who puts words to paper, whether for a living or for fun, and that means book writers, letter writers, journal writers, emailers, bloggers, you name it. I'd guess that every person reading this is a writer of sorts."

So, if you have a sec today and want to read along with me, work on your writing skills, and find out how to curb writer's block or how to edit your manuscript - whatever ails you - see ya there!

;)

Green is as Green Does... A New Blog is Born! :)

I'd love to introduce you to a new blog, The Green Mamas, authored by both my beautiful sister-in-law and I. The blog is all about our adventures at being green in everything we do, every way we can ;)

So, please feel free to come on by, kick off your shoes and stay awhile...this is going to be fun!

:)

Do you LOVE to blog?

I think I have a problem...I think I'm in love...with blogging...

Why, you ask?

Well...it's just so...fun!

Honestly, why is blogging this enjoyable?! I mean, this is the one thing I was going to do just because I thought I had to do to - you know - get my name out in the world, so that in the event my book is published that someone, somewhere would know of me...and potentially buy my book, of course ;)

I didn't start blogging because I thought I was going to enjoy it. It's not like I needed one more thing to do, especially while attempting to finish my novel...right?

Only thing is...I do enjoy it. To be honest, I think I love it. I mean, really love it. I think about it all the time, I can't wait to get blogging again, even after I've just posted a blog. And while I'm doing other things (aka: editing my novel) I'm daydreaming about blogging...boy...sounds like I have a crush on blogging!

It's just so fun and easy!

Will the inspiration ever cease?!

It's like the creative outlet I've been waiting for all my life...

What about you?

Do you love to blog? What do you blog about? Now is the time to yell it from the mountain tops (aka: the comment box) and tell everyone about your blog, the one you love to add to every chance you get.

Oh, and reading other people's blogs is part of the fun too!

So let's go...

Let's blissfully follow eachother along in this la-la-blogging-land...

:)

Get Rich!....A Secret To Absolute Wealth

Oh, yeah, baby...I'm rich!

I'm the richest person I know...And I'm richer than I've ever been in my entire life! I have everything I've ever wanted and more...

Why?

I'm blessed.

And I feel more and more blessed each and everyday.

How?

I'll let you in on a little secret. I have close to nothing and almost everything, all at the same time.

"They may not have a lot of material things, but that doesn't mean they are not successful," says A Cherokee Feast of Days, a daily meditation book by Joyce Sequichie Hifler. "The Elders say that what everyone really wants is to be happy and have a peaceful mind. Material things by themselves do not bring happiness and peace of mind."

Therefore, when you define true success in the peace, love, and happiness that you feel and share, there are no boundaries to how rich you can be. So...share the love :)

I don't have a lot, but I always give away almost everything that I have. And - somehow, some way - all that I need just comes along. I think it's the Universe's way of saying, "Thank you for your generosity" with a smiling handshake.

Charles Eastman once wrote, "When I was younger, I knew the love of sharing. Since I have become civilized I have lost such wisdom." Today, we are so consumed with consuming - building our own little castles of stuff, collecting every thing that we can buy - that most of us have lost a bit of what it is to be human. We are all struggling with something (or someone) and if we just helped eachother out a little more, all the woes we feel would be greatly alleviated.

Giving is also a way we can live harmoniously on and with Mother Earth. She shares with us everything we need to live and survive. It's all about being like fruit, and living life like a Three Sisters Garden - the corn, bean, and squash - sharing with eachother nutrients, shade, and support thus creating a strong and healthy harvest.

I feel that by sharing everything you have - whether it's left over compost or simply just the love and compassion in your heart - you will not only be taken care of, somehow, some way, but you'll also feel richer beyond your wildest dreams.

The moment you stop being consumed with your own needs and start reaching out to others and sharing all that you have - all that is you - and helping in any way you can, you'll instantly feel it. That richness will fill your life, your soul, your spirit.

You will be blessed.

:)

No More Emotional Stalling...Time To Move On! :)

I'm so excited to report that, starting today, I'm starting to edit chapter three! Phew!

I always knew chapter two was going to bite my ass...

Editing chapter one was a piece of cake. I changed the tenses, fixed the POV and DONE! It was only a few days going...

Then came chapter two...this is where my MC finds something from her past that jolts her awake, leaving her with a choice: keep on keepin' on, or mix things up!

Yes, the POV had to be changed...the past tenses fixed. But it wasn't a grammatical stalling that kept me from editing chapter two, or keeping me from wanting to edit chapter two. It was totally emotional. Remember, this novel is a Roman e Clef. This is MY story.

And there are some hard parts to relive...

When I started this little (now big) venture, I didn't think ahead at all the time I'd spend opening old wounds, rehashing, and reliving things that I'd rather not have a second go around with... Least to say, it's been a very painful yet cathartic journey. I just hope it all translates into the wonderful book that I feel it is becoming!

And I've been letting blogging about nothing in particular, chatting away on facebook, and dreaming about my soon-to-be garden get in the way...But it's editing for crying out loud!

Is there anyone out there that really enjoys this part?!

The Easy Green To Do List... Making Every Day Earth Day

Happy Earth Day, everyone!

I hope that you have a chance to get out and do something for people and planet today in a very green way ;)

And as much as I love a whole day devoted to celebrating and taking care of our beloved Mother Earth, I think it much more meaningful to make EVERYDAY Earth Day. And why not?!

So...To make everyday Earth Day, I am posting this easy green to do list I received from a wonderfully eco-conscience friend of mine. Do your part today and every day...enjoy!

The Easy GREEN To Do List

In the kitchen...

• Set the refrigerator temperature between 38 F and 42 F.
• Set the freezer temperature between O F and 5 F.

In the dining room...

• Use napkin rings and cloth napkins.
• Use washable plates, cups and silverware.
• Recycle containers by serving condiments in them.

In the laundry...

• Wash and dry only full loads.
• Wash with warm water instead of hot.
• Rinse with cold water instead of warm.
• Hang wash out to dry.

In the bathroom...

• Shut off the sink while brushing your teeth.
• Shut off the shower while soaping or scrubbing.
• Install a low-flow shower head.
• Reduce the volume of water in your toilet tank.

In the living room...

• Switch off unnecessary lights.
• Dress cool: don't turn on the air conditioner.
• Raise shades on winter days; lower them in summer.
• Install ceiling fans to use for summer & winter.

In the yard...

• Compost leaves and grass clippings.
• Avoid pesticides, use nontoxic alternatives.
• Water the grass early in the morning.
• Plant a tree.

Make Everyday Earth Day & Enjoy Mother Earth today :)