20 Little Luminaries

20 Little Luminaries
by Lia Mack

In the darkest hour
In the darkest night
20 little luminaries
Fill up with light
 
20 little lives
So innocent, so sweet
20 little smiles
We wish we could greet

Although quiet as snowflakes
Glistening in the sun
40 little hands
Still hold onto the fun

That living gave them
All the love and the joy
That they enjoyed in their short time
All those 20 little girls and boys

And in the twilight
Feel their love near
As 20 little hearts
Hold you close and dear

Remembering the good times
Summer, Spring, Winter, Fall
That you gave to them wholeheartedly
Mommy and Daddy and all

And look at those 3
On the left and the right
Doing their best
To protect with all their might

On both sides of them now
Standing strong, standing tall
6 luminaries
For the adults who too did fall

Angels on Earth
To their rescue did come
To protect them and guide them
With life's wonderful love

Together they go
Together they stay
6 tall and 20 small
Toward Heaven's sweet rays

So stand close to your loved ones
On this cold winter night
3 tall, 20 small, 3 tall
Will you please light
And there they will glow
With life's fire light
As those 20 sweet little lives
Take heavenly flight

As you remember those you've loved and lost this year – 
especially the 26 lives taken away from us that unforgettable fall morning 12.14.12 –  
please light the night with your own luminary in their remembrance.

What's Next, Zombies?!

A little while back, we had an earthquake and a hurricane, all in one week.

Hurriquake 2011

lol...

no, really, a friend of mine actually thought of making t-shirts ;)

So, a few days later, here I was, driving around after the storm blew over and the waters receded, and I saw a sign posted in Annapolis - prim and proper Annapolis of all places! - that asked the simple, yet obvious question:

What's next, zombies?!

Hilarious. And as someone who is just coo-coo for some zombies - The Walking Dead this Sunday!! - I couldn't help the giggles.

But, you know? It's a perfectly logical question. And life....doesn't life just seem like that sometimes? Like when things start falling apart, blowing up, one thing after another after another after another...all we can think is, what more could possibly happen?!

Zombies, I tell you. It's the only possible answer.

No, really, there's no such thing as zombies. And that's the point I'd like to make in this blissfully beguiling Friday blog post. Don't sweat it. You have no idea what's to come. Just be prepared by staying sane (and keeping a healthy pantry) and all will be good. No matter what life throws at you - oh, please no fast moving zombies, please! - don't waste your now worrying about what may or may not come.

And what's the deal with fast moving zombies anyway? What moron thought up that one?! Totally takes the fun out of trying to survive, IMHO (in my humble opinion).

Besides: Dead decaying matter doesn't move fast. Not at all.

Don't just survive. Have fun. 

Enjoy life! Be present in your here and now. We all have something(s) going on with us and/or around us. Some of us may be at a lull, some of us may be battling oncoming traffic on a regular basis. But dwelling on the thing or things that's piling up on us won't make life any fun. It'll make it miserable.

And do you think God put you here to be miserable?

Think about that one. Did He? She? It? However you see God, what do you think? Are you supposed to dwell in misery or do your best at blissfully beguiling in everyday life? And if you picked the latter - which is the correct answer, by the way - who's responsibility is it to ensure you enjoy yourself, your life, to the fullest?

Your spouse? Your parent? Your friends? Your doctor? God?...You?

Not a trick question.

Being prepared, living life to your own view of its fullest, being PRESENT in what's going on with you here and now - not past or future, but now - is totally all you.

Your responsibility.

Not your boss. Not your kids. Not your imaginary friend. You.

Great, huh? One more thing to deal with... No No NO! Why so glum?! This is the fun part of life! Doing what you want to do, love to do, set out to do. DO IT! Have fun with it! And if it doesn't work out, remember...you had fun trying!!! AND (drum roll please) you'll be in the company of those who were also brave enough to do what they love and wanted to do, whatever that may be.

Even if that means, for some, running away from zombies ;)

And don't sweat the small and not so small stuff. We are all there. We are all in this together - just some of us disguise our troubles and problems better than others. But worrying about and dwelling on the junk we all have to endure just makes things worse.

Don't agree? Here, listen to what my doctor told me yesterday (and tell me if this makes sense...)

"So you have ____ (you fill in the blank: An illness. Problem in-laws. A crazy person clawing at your door. Whatever). So you have this," my doc says to me. "That's like 2+2=4. It's normal. But, you if you have ____(again, fill in your blank) and you add getting worried or stressed over it, it'll be like 2+2+2=11. Meaning, you'll make yourself bananas!"

So, in other words...or in the words of my doctor...

Don't go bananas! 

Take worry and stress out of the equation, get back to reality - life, it's a roller coaster, get used to it - and just keep going. "Enjoy your life!" Again, more words from the banana doctor.

Do what you love in addition to dealing with life in general.

You don't want to get to the end of your life and think, "well, gee...I never really did do what I always wanted/loved/dreamed of doing. Huh...."

That's not what you want, is it?

Wouldn't it be more fun to think, "well, gee...I tried, I failed, I succeeded. Damn, that was fun. I loved my life. Yep. I sure did..."

Zombies n'all.

;)

And I'm Back...Tangents And All

HELLO OUT THERE!

So long I've been gone, no?

Lots to talk about, lots of lost time. I stopped writing - blogging, noveling, everything - back in May because, well, let's face it. The ol'brain just wasn't workin' right ;) And I winky-smile after saying that because, well, let's face it. If you can't smile, what's the point?

;)

So, what's new... Well, I've got the house almost to myself right now, and it's silent! Two in school, three taking a nap. The hubby wanted me to brine a whole chicken over night and roast it for dinner, so that's about to get going into the oven. Who ever heard of brining a chicken for 24 hours, I don't know...but I guess I left the TV on the Food Network channel and when Mr. Hubby turned it on to watch football over the weekend...well, let's just say his tummy was inspired.

How many times can I say, "well, let's just say" in a blog post? ;)

I'll stop with the repetition with that one, but not the winky-winks. I'm a winker. A flirt. Got to wink. Got to be comical. Got to be sweet. That's me ;)

Back in High School - in southern Italy, no less - I was called just that. "The Flirt"...as if there weren't any others out there sashaying it up in the halls (well, hall. The school was so small, we only had one hall. 25 people in my graduating class! We were like family...still are! :)

And I'm back...tangents and all.

So, I was "The Flirt" and I loved all the attention that I got from just being me. I know I had no intention on being a flirt, I just love life! I love hanging out with people, no matter who - guys, girls, geeks, greeks - and I think that's where the nickname conjured up from. I didn't live in a clique. I cliqued with everyone :) I did hang out predominantly with one particular clique - "The Ho's" - but that's an entirely different blog post all together! LOL...oh, my...funny funny.

And don't think for a second that they minded at all that they were called the, you know what's. They picked the name themselves! My first day of school, I remember walking down our hall and into a group of happy, pretty smiles. And the biggest smile of them all - a dear friend of mine still to this day - asked with all her wonderful exuberance, "Hey, you're new. You want to be friends with us? We're the Ho's!" And thus a grand gift of friendships was born.

And maybe that's where the nickname came from also. I hung out with my friends who were quite chummy with the guys - our guys, visiting school guys, GI's (our school was on a military base), and so I guess it was assumed that I was equally as chummy. But I had no clue back then what a ho even was. Honestly, I really was that naive and yes, this blonde. Before I moved to Italy, I was back in Colorado climbing mountains and climbing trees. I was a very young 14 when I moved to Italy and had no clue. But I had fun despite it!

Yep. Life as a blonde really is better ;)

Oh, but I learned my lesson eventually, as I'm sure we all do. And a lesson I did learn... Stopped my flirtatiousness for the better of eh, let's say, twenty years. Hurtful people can kill a part of you... Thankfully God was looking out for me all that time, or I'd never have met the brined chicken lover who is the perfect fit to my puzzle.

God - The Universe - always looking out for us. We just have no clue how this puzzle will ever fit together until we see the whole picture.

Which brings me to a fantastic tangent. After quitting all that I love back in May to focus on just trying to live (and I mean it. LIVE. Been pretty unlucky as of late. But don't think that'll hold me down for long. I insist on living, and living WELL. Testa dura...that's me!) I was going to blog about it, but I'd rather focus on the positive - making this shit go away and/or living better with it. No more complaining about it.

Soooo...

Because I'm so blessed, I got to spend a good portion of July out in San Diego visiting my lovely sister-in-law. Oh, and of course my brother :) And would you know it? I felt PERFECT!!! Check out what POTS is all about and at home I have it all - including the hypovolemia.

BUT!! OMG. Out in San Diego?!?!? I was 90% better!!!

90 percent.

Better.

Hello!

So, of course, when I had to leave and fly back to the east coast - where all my POTS symptoms returned in 10 minutes - I told hubby, "We're moving. I can't live like this anymore." I'm young, I have young children, and I refuse to live handicap, ESPECIALLY if I don't have to!!!

Being the practical, factual, logical thinker he is, although he was happy that I could live POTS free, we needed to do some research, make sure it wasn't just seasonal. That I'd feel fine there all year long. It is a pretty big thing to pick up and move cross country with no where to live or work with two kids...

After a bit of a battle of hearts and heads, I simmered down and started to try to see it his way. Okay. I need to know for sure this wasn't just a fluke (ha! as if feeling 90% better instantly is something to second guess...) So, how to get out to Cali at different times of the year to test out my theory.

Think, Lia. Think...

While thinking, I got bored, started surfing the web and updating my facebook page. Had to "Like" San Diego because, hello! It "Likes" me! ;) And while I was on San Diego's facebook page, I saw they were hosting a "200K Likes Contest" with a prize..."Like us, then Like the Hilton at Torey Pines, and you'll be entered to win a 5 night stay at the Hilton!"

Well, gee! That's easy...

Click.

Click.

So I "Liked" San Diego and "Liked" the Hilton too. And kind of whispered to God that, if this move should happen, that it really is the only thing that I can do to feel - live- better, it would be really stellar to win this contest so I could bring Hubby along and Mr. Practical-Logical can see for himself.

AND GUESS WHAT?

GUESS!!!!

:)

I won.

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG. Or, rather. OTYG - Oh Thank You God! ;)

So, come Spring Break, Hubby and I are flying out to live it up in San Diego. Just the two of us. Like a date! Wow, I'm so excited! He's, of course, dreading seeing the light, therefore he'll have to figure out the move. "Why so practical?!" I say. "Just have fun. We'll land on our feet."

I always do ;)

And I'm planning a quick trip by myself to So Cal this winter, so that takes care of summer, winter and spring. If I feel great all those seasons, I think it's safe to say I'll feel fantastic all year round. Seeing I only get, at tops, a month here (a few weeks in spring plus a few weeks in fall) that I feel good here, I'd say this is a NO BRAINER.

We're going.

But, yes. I married a cautious man, so I will give him two years of dealing with this on the east coast so we have time to figure things out. I can do it. Have been for a while now. That way we're not just jumping blindfolded...although, if you ask me, that's way more fun! ;)

So, yep. I'm excited! ;) Someone asked what would we possibly do - by ourselves - for 5 nights in sunny southern California...

LOL... I love it when people give me a reason to smile, laugh.

So, that's a taste of what's been up. The weather's getting cooler, the humidity is feigning away - Go away! And there's a really hot pair of leopard print pumps in my future. Standing up in a wedding in a few weeks. At a pumpkin festival! The dress is super sweet. Just hope it doesn't snow. The dress is sleeveless and to the knees! However, I look great in it, and the shoes are so awesome, I bet I'll be feeling too hot to care ;)

Oh, and before I know it, Thanksgiving will be here. And I declared last Thanksgiving that the next one, I'd like to host. So, I'm hosting! :) Can't wait.

Hope everyone's doing well out there!

Glad to be back.

:)

Deadlines, Editing, and My Unofficial Query Letter....UNofficial...

So, I totally blew my self-imposed deadline of March 23rd to have finished all edits and send out my first query letter. Death, taxes, 6 feet of snow, and the Olympics...all things totally unrelated, yet all things I've allowed to stray me away from my goal.

Therefore I'm imposing a more SANE deadline of "by summer", and this gives me time to polish and shine my query letter. A few weeks ago I polished and shined my "one sentence" pitch of my novel, and I am happy to say that I LOVE IT! No need to edit any further. Next step now, is to start with the paragraph synopsis of what happens in the novel, beginning to end, leaving nothing out...

How the hell?!?! The whole book, explained in detail, in one paragraph!?!?!?

Enter, the query letter...

Whether you snail mail or email an agent, you need to formulate one hell of a kick ass query letter to not only GET their attention, but also KEEP their attention.

I took a quick crack at swallowing my entire novel into one horribly written paragraph, just to see if I could manage to get all the major points in there (NOTE: there is much work to be done on this...the following is just for fun). But I did manage to capture the darkness of the novel, and then show that it all turns bright by the end. I think for me this will be my biggest challenge. I can't leave out the fact that my MC is a bit of a nut case in the beginning (of course 'nut case' by normal standards. I think she's fine, just needs a little TLC...we've bonded ;)

So, without further delay, here is one horribly written query for my amusement only (and yours too, I hope ;).

My novel opens with a past rape scene, moves forward to the present, where you see my MC living with the after effects of an abusive past, she goes to therapy, you are inside her head, see her odd living style, hear voices, all sorts of strangeness, until she breaks free from it all and finds a way to heal, finds her courage again, finds herself again...then she meets someone, falls in love, has a normal life, albeit there are still triggers from her past, some of which threaten to suck her back down into that deep black hole...but she's a new woman now, has tools to help her stay in her present and deal with her past, and she moves on and up and it's great at the end!

Phew!

That is one long run-on sentence ;)

Yet, somehow, I feel one tiny small step closer to my goal...Feel free to leave a link to your own horrible one paragraph synopsis!

;)

Sorry, but I can't write anymore...My heart is broken...

I haven't been blogging at all for a while now and I'm not sure when I'll start up again. I can't seem to write. I don't have a feeling in my soul to convey, not a word to toss around, nor a story to concoct. My heart holds all these things and more...but my heart is broken...

Last month I witnessed a horrible tragedy...one that I still cannot will myself to write about. Truth be told, I'm still in denial. Still hoping he'll be ok. That the doctors were wrong when they said that he was gone...

We're all trying to justify getting out of bed in the morning and living our lives to the fullest. But sometimes it's so hard to get past the why? and how? that even trying to remember how to boil water doesn't come easily...

Andrew Dowley, a little boy that we cherished, a sweet little friend to my own children, the 2 year old son of our dear friends, past away suddenly, unexpectedly. So far, the reasoning? Unknown...

So now, we just take it day by day...trying to live life...yet stuck on the why and how...
In loving memory...Andrew Dowley...

Be Your Characters...

They say write what you know and we all abide by that rule, to a certain extent at least. I mean, honestly, how can we really live the lives of all our characters.

We expand on what we know - add a little here, add a little there - until we create a world that is unlike our own. And that is what readers want: something to take them away from their everyday life...

So, how then, do we write what we know when all we want to do is blissfully drift off into the unknown?

Infusing a little reality with imagination is the key to creating the vastness that draws readers and writers alike into your story. A little real life practicality mixed with impromptu daydream drama can make for a rich conglomeration that not only paints a picture, but also peeks our interest to know more and more...

At the moment I'm attempting to do some of the things my main character does while on a last minute vacation mixed with family obligation. And I'm glad that I have. Not only have I realized that some of the locations wouldn't really work out as I had thought they would, but I've also discovered by chance some additional scenes that are going to enhance my story line.

As much fun as I'm having on vacation, I can't wait to get back to my own reality and start editing and adding some of these finds. But I'm glad that i have been doing this 'research' and eliciting the five senses to help me create a new world where my story not only takes place, but also lives...

Eco-Friendly Alternatives for Everyday Cleaning...

following list provided today by boat-dweller guest blogger mama Cindy Wallach at TheGreenMamas.com blog ;)

Instead of using... Use these Eco-Friendly Alternatives

• Bleach... Borax
  
  
• Detergent & Soap... Elbow grease
  
  
• Scouring Powders... Baking soda. Or rub area with one-half lemon dipped in borax, then rinse
  
  
• General Cleaner... Baking soda and vinegar. Or lemon juice combined with borax paste
  
  
• Floor Cleaner... One cup vinegar + 2 gallons of water
  
  
• Window Cleaner... One cup vinegar + 1 qt. warm water. Rinse and squeegee
  
  
• Aluminum Cleaner... 2 Tbsp. cream of tartar + 1 qt. of hot water
  
  
• Brass Cleaner... Worcestershire sauce. Or paste made of equal amounts of salt, vinegar, and water
  
  
• Copper Cleaner... Lemon juice and water. Or paste of lemon juice, salt, and flour
  
  
• Chrome Cleaner/Polish... Apple cider vinegar to clean; baby oil to polish
  
  
• Stainless Steel Cleaner... Baking soda or mineral oil for polishing, vinegar to remove spots
  
  
• Fiberglass Stain Remover... Baking soda and salt in a wet paste
  
  
• Mildew Remover... Paste with equal amounts of lemon juice and salt, or white vinegar and salt OR diluted tea tree oil
  
  
• Drain Opener... Dissemble or use plumber’s snake. Or flush with boiling water + one-quarter cup baking soda + one-quarter cup vinegar
  
  
• Wood Polish... Olive or almond oil (interior walls only)
  
  
• Rug/Upholstery Cleaner... Dry corn starch sprinkled on; vacuum
  
  
• After Cleaning Cocktail... One part rum mixed with 2 parts fruit juice. Add ice as needed...
  
  :)

The Best of Deterrents... How to Stop Writing Your Novel Today!

Walking in the store today, I stopped by the book section hoping to see my favorite author's new release. Still not there, I pursed alternative titles. There were books by the Prez and his wife, more scandals novels by the romance gurus, and a few health tip books that looked interesting, but not enough to warrant their price tags.

I picked up the latest by Jodi Picoult and started to read a few sentences in the middle of the book, just to see if I liked her voice. If I can't stand the author's voice, I can't read the book (I won't mention whose voice I can't stand since I wouldn't want to burn any bridges before I get there, kwim? ;)

Jodi Picoult. Love her voice. Love it.

Want to know why?

It's almost like mine...

Crap, I think to myself and deflate. Now I'll look like I was copying her voice when I go to try to have my novel published. I should probably throw in the towel...

But no! I don't want to. I wrote the entire thing already! There's a few editing tasks ahead then I can write the query and send it out. I'm not quitting just yet, are you crazy?!

Ok, no need to panic, right? Just breath and buy it since it does look like a great story. It's a movie now too, so it must be.

Then another book catches my eye: Just Breathe. Can't remember the author now off the top of my head right now, but when I read the back of the book, I practically drop it onto the floor. In a nutshell: a woman has an emotional catastrophe that makes her revisit her California beach hometown where she falls in love. Gee...Doesn't that sounds awfully familiar. Almost like my story line...

I put it back and retreat home to read the book my mother happily left for me. "You'll like it. Just look at the title." She knows that my first choice for the title of my own book is Live, Laugh, Love. Presumptuous? Maybe. But I think it fits my story to a T. The title of the book my mother leaves me is Eat, Pray, Love. I read it. Great story. I hear my own story - my own main character - in a lot of places throughout the book. There are many key points in the book that are just like my own, right down to the sound that flip flops make when you run in them!

So I change the title of my book so something else and the sound flip flops make...But now, when I look at my book, I see all these other published author's work in my work. I'm fighting back those nasty self-doubting writer demons that just want me to quit. "It's going to be embarrassing!" they laugh, snicker, sneer. "Plagiarizer!" they point.

But I know I'm not one. I've never even read a Jodi book until those innocent three sentences. Truth be told, her voice is much like Barbara Delinsky's voice, my favorite author. I'm sure Elizabeth Gilbert's voice is a bit similar as well...hmmm...maybe I shouldn't feel so vulnerable right now...Maybe...

And there are only 50 states, of which only a handful are on an ocean coast. Even if it's the same exact town as mine, and our stories have a similar thread, does that mean I should devote mine to the paper shredder? Maybe...Maybe not...

These are all deterrents to writing, making me - us - feel as if we shouldn't even try. It's hard enough to actually write the blasted thing. That's a deterrent enough!

However!...If you find that you are being sidetracked by multiple signs to quit, I think you should keep on going. Someone or something out there thinks you've actually have what it takes...and they are scared you're going to make it.

That's my outlook on this sort of thing. Whenever I have a massive amount of neigh sayers show up, I get going even faster! Hasn't always been. I used to drop everything at the first sign of a challenge and then regret never taking the chance. But my small brush with death taught me something: take your chance now, sista! You might not get another one...

So, deterrents aside, write! Keep going! Flip them the finger and just do it. Never know. You might get laughed at. Maybe. Or, more likely, you'll get one of those personalized notes in the mail..."We'd like to see more. Thanks!"

....

My Hair is Back!

I realized something yesterday as I walked past a mirror and saw my reflection...I finally look like myself again! It's been a long time coming too.

Last March I had to chop all of my hair off. The October before, it had started to fall out and what was left by the new year was a knotted frayed mess. Before it started to fall out in clumps, my beautiful blonde hair was long, healthy, silky and all the way down to my butt! However, due to adrenal inefficiency (that would take another year to truly diagnose) my body started to break down, starting with my hair.

Now, I know. Hair is hair. It'll grow back. But it was hard to loose like that, being the lovely locks that they had been all my life. But something had to be done. It was just a horrible bird's nest at the nape of my neck everyday. It's frumpiness was just dragging me down.

I had to force my mother to do it. A seasoned hairdresser of 25+ years, she still didn't want to see it all go. But there was no use keeping it. So, with a chop chop chop, 15 inches were gone. By the time she was done trimming the rest up, my hair was only one inch long...

Yikes!

So, with more than a year later and taking care of my self - making sure I get the right amount of sleep, staying away from toxic people, and doing things for myself - I have almost made a full recovery...and my hair shows it ;)

It may have been a big chop at first, but it was worth it. And in more ways than one. Yes, it got rid of all that dead hair leaving room for new healthier growth. But it also a very concrete reminder too. Every time I was startled from my reflection in the mirror, seeing that I had no hair! - I was reminded that I had to take care of myself.

Even if I didn't feel like I had time to actually do it on some days, seeing my hair - taking what felt like an eternity just to grow past the tips of my ears! - I was reminded that I had to do something for myself every single day: I had to take a shower that day. I had to get to bed on time. I had to get out side and run. I had to write. Anything, something. All I knew was that I had to do something for myself that day.

Someone very wise once told me: if you don't take care of yourself, no one will.

No truer words were ever spoken. Everyone needs to know this and implement it into their lives, even if it takes a catastrophic event to make them realize that they need to take care of themselves.

We are all worth a little time and effort for ourselves. Many of us don't realize this and go through our lives giving and giving...but if we only give and give and never take a little for ourselves to refuel, someday there won't be anything left to give.

So here's to all of us doing a little something for ourselves this weekend, whether it's sleeping in a little later or going on that hike that we've only been talking about taking for months.

Enjoy!

And take care of yourself!

:)

Not exactly the swine flu, but...

I've taken a bit of a break from blogging this past week due to my darling daughters mysterious all-of-a-sudden illness. She's back to her normal bouncy healthy self now, thankfully! But for a moment there I was actually scared!

Bright and early last Friday morning she woke me up saying that her belly hurt. Now this is not an out of the ordinary occurrence. Both she and my son wake up with this comment practically every morning, and I do believe I'm the one to blame. You see, we wake up famished! Starving! Tummies rumbling! I've been like this my whole life and now I see that my poor little ones are on the path of waking to an immediate feeling of hunger.

Soooo...here it was, 6:30 am, and her belly hurt. "Oh, just climb in with mommy and I'll get you something to eat...Just five more minutes, please," I beg with my eye lids still shut, hoping she'll fall back to sleep and we both can make it closer to seven before leaving the snuggley warmth of my bed.

Ten seconds later, after successfully climbing into be with me...she vomited.

And proceeded to not eat anything other than breastmilk (which she promptly threw up as well) for the next four days...four days!!!

I took her to the doc's office...doc said to just give her some probiotics and give it a couple more days. "Whatever she has she's keeping to herself," is what the doc tosses out on her way back out the door.

Ok...

Then, on the night of day four around 10pm - after not eating anything, nursing like mad, throwing that up, and oh I won't even get into what was coming out the other end - my little skin-n-bones, pale white little girl rises up and says quite sternly, "Daddy, get me pizza."

She stood patiently by the door until the delivery guy showed up...And then she ate.

And ate.

And ate.

And, within a day of pizza eating, her color came back and she was on the road to recovery! I'll admit that pizza isn't really all that nutritious and that chicken soup and rice or some other combination of healthy-for-ya foods would have been a better bet for my little two year old...but when they want pizza (and especially after what she had been through)...give them pizza!!!

So, least to say, it was the swine flu that has everyone crazy about, but it just had to happen at the same exact time as the breakout... Anyway, that was my weekend...

How was yours? ;)

Get Rich!....A Secret To Absolute Wealth

Oh, yeah, baby...I'm rich!

I'm the richest person I know...And I'm richer than I've ever been in my entire life! I have everything I've ever wanted and more...

Why?

I'm blessed.

And I feel more and more blessed each and everyday.

How?

I'll let you in on a little secret. I have close to nothing and almost everything, all at the same time.

"They may not have a lot of material things, but that doesn't mean they are not successful," says A Cherokee Feast of Days, a daily meditation book by Joyce Sequichie Hifler. "The Elders say that what everyone really wants is to be happy and have a peaceful mind. Material things by themselves do not bring happiness and peace of mind."

Therefore, when you define true success in the peace, love, and happiness that you feel and share, there are no boundaries to how rich you can be. So...share the love :)

I don't have a lot, but I always give away almost everything that I have. And - somehow, some way - all that I need just comes along. I think it's the Universe's way of saying, "Thank you for your generosity" with a smiling handshake.

Charles Eastman once wrote, "When I was younger, I knew the love of sharing. Since I have become civilized I have lost such wisdom." Today, we are so consumed with consuming - building our own little castles of stuff, collecting every thing that we can buy - that most of us have lost a bit of what it is to be human. We are all struggling with something (or someone) and if we just helped eachother out a little more, all the woes we feel would be greatly alleviated.

Giving is also a way we can live harmoniously on and with Mother Earth. She shares with us everything we need to live and survive. It's all about being like fruit, and living life like a Three Sisters Garden - the corn, bean, and squash - sharing with eachother nutrients, shade, and support thus creating a strong and healthy harvest.

I feel that by sharing everything you have - whether it's left over compost or simply just the love and compassion in your heart - you will not only be taken care of, somehow, some way, but you'll also feel richer beyond your wildest dreams.

The moment you stop being consumed with your own needs and start reaching out to others and sharing all that you have - all that is you - and helping in any way you can, you'll instantly feel it. That richness will fill your life, your soul, your spirit.

You will be blessed.

:)

No More Emotional Stalling...Time To Move On! :)

I'm so excited to report that, starting today, I'm starting to edit chapter three! Phew!

I always knew chapter two was going to bite my ass...

Editing chapter one was a piece of cake. I changed the tenses, fixed the POV and DONE! It was only a few days going...

Then came chapter two...this is where my MC finds something from her past that jolts her awake, leaving her with a choice: keep on keepin' on, or mix things up!

Yes, the POV had to be changed...the past tenses fixed. But it wasn't a grammatical stalling that kept me from editing chapter two, or keeping me from wanting to edit chapter two. It was totally emotional. Remember, this novel is a Roman e Clef. This is MY story.

And there are some hard parts to relive...

When I started this little (now big) venture, I didn't think ahead at all the time I'd spend opening old wounds, rehashing, and reliving things that I'd rather not have a second go around with... Least to say, it's been a very painful yet cathartic journey. I just hope it all translates into the wonderful book that I feel it is becoming!

And I've been letting blogging about nothing in particular, chatting away on facebook, and dreaming about my soon-to-be garden get in the way...But it's editing for crying out loud!

Is there anyone out there that really enjoys this part?!

The Easy Green To Do List... Making Every Day Earth Day

Happy Earth Day, everyone!

I hope that you have a chance to get out and do something for people and planet today in a very green way ;)

And as much as I love a whole day devoted to celebrating and taking care of our beloved Mother Earth, I think it much more meaningful to make EVERYDAY Earth Day. And why not?!

So...To make everyday Earth Day, I am posting this easy green to do list I received from a wonderfully eco-conscience friend of mine. Do your part today and every day...enjoy!

The Easy GREEN To Do List

In the kitchen...

• Set the refrigerator temperature between 38 F and 42 F.
• Set the freezer temperature between O F and 5 F.

In the dining room...

• Use napkin rings and cloth napkins.
• Use washable plates, cups and silverware.
• Recycle containers by serving condiments in them.

In the laundry...

• Wash and dry only full loads.
• Wash with warm water instead of hot.
• Rinse with cold water instead of warm.
• Hang wash out to dry.

In the bathroom...

• Shut off the sink while brushing your teeth.
• Shut off the shower while soaping or scrubbing.
• Install a low-flow shower head.
• Reduce the volume of water in your toilet tank.

In the living room...

• Switch off unnecessary lights.
• Dress cool: don't turn on the air conditioner.
• Raise shades on winter days; lower them in summer.
• Install ceiling fans to use for summer & winter.

In the yard...

• Compost leaves and grass clippings.
• Avoid pesticides, use nontoxic alternatives.
• Water the grass early in the morning.
• Plant a tree.

Make Everyday Earth Day & Enjoy Mother Earth today :)

Paint it Green! :)

Back in 2005 I started a venture: beGreenDesigns, a custom painting business...

Well, actually, it wasn't all that green to begin with. I - nor did the majority of the us - know all the harmful effects that VOC's (volatile organic compounds) did to us or the environment (they cause your indoor air quality to be worse than the most polluted outdoor air!) However, while painting two years later - and unknowingly pregnant - I started to feel their effects and thought to ask my brother if there were any harmful effects of being in close contact with all these chemicals.

Ah, yeah! Duh!...

Not only were they carcinogenic and I was in close contact with these chemicals for hours on end day after day, I was also putting my clients in danger of breathing in these harmful fumes for years! (the darker the pigment, the longer the off-gassing...)

He thankfully pointed me in a greener direction, showing me the multitude of green paints and supplies that were out in eco-land. I was already an eco-woman at heart. I just didn't know - or think about - the harmful effects of something deemed benign - household paint!

Thus I created beGreendesigns - eco-friendly, non-toxic custom painting by yours truly :)

So... (here comes the shameless self-promoting plug) if you're in the neighborhood of needing some custom painting, give me a ring! I always handout free estimates...and I'll toss in a discount to all my blog readers as well...why not ;)

Will You Be My Friend?...

Late one evening back in high school, a friend came to my door and asked if I'd take a walk with her. She had never asked me for anything like this before and, from the expression on her face, I could tell that she was in need. Some years ago another dear friend showed up on my doorsteps early one rainy day with the same look in her eyes. Other friends call at all hours of the day, night with the same tone in their voice.

They are in need...in need of a friend.

Someone who will listen.
Someone who cares.
Someone who you can lay your woes upon, keeping your secrets safe.

Friends are wonderful people. They sacrifice their time and energies for us, and we do the same for them. Even if miles upon miles separate us we know that, if the friend-symbol is shone up into the sky, they will be there for us in a blink of an eye.

We too have many acquaintances in our lives, people we see during the week and have conversations with. Some may even come to a dinner party or two. And as wonderful as they are, we know and feel the distinction between them and our friends.

A friend is someone that you share a common commitment with. One that binds you to eachother, for better and for worst. In the hustle bustle of our busy lives it is difficult to find and secure a real true friendship. So when you have one, it makes it all the more important to nurture it with kindness, respect, and honesty. To be there for eachother. That's a good friend.

"Once you make a friend, a friend never leaves you, even to death.
So a friend is really hard to find."
~ Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA

Once, an Elder told me he made a decision to be my friend. He said this friendship wasn't based on my behavior or how I acted; he said the friendship was based on his decision. He decided to be my friend. This friendship has happened like he said. Even if I don't see him for a long time, or if I get mad at him, he has never changed his decision. This is true friendship.

Great Spirit, I'm glad you are this kind of Friend.

That in green is taken from the book A Cherokee Feast of Days.

The Sausage and the Stool

One morning long ago, I came downstairs dressed in my uniform ready for school when I smelled something wonderful: sausage. My mother had cooked up a batch and was about to set a plate of them onto the table. Eager, I propped myself up at the table. Fork in hand, ready to pounce.

"Now, now. Only two per person so we have some left for tomorrow," my mother lightheartedly - however seriously - warned me. Doing the calculation in my head, I deemed there to be more than enough sausages on the plate for everyone to have at least three, if not more. Why on Earth was my mother saving sausages? What good could come from not eating them right away?

When it was my turn, I took the two biggest sausage links that I could find and scarfed them down. Of course we had had scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast that morning too. But it wasn't enough. Those sausages - so plump, so juicy - were the crowning jewel!

Eyes growling along with my stomach, I watched as my brothers carelessly toyed with their portions. One even let a whole sausage link fall to the floor! Unfortunately, my mother cleared away their plates before I could attempt a steal-n-save of the remaining treat.

"Time to clean up, gotta leave for school soon," she said as she picked up the dish of leftover sausages and set it high up on the kitchen counter.

"Mom, can I please have one more? Just one?"

"No, because one will turn into two and before you know it we won't have any left! Now get your book bag and meet me out in the garage."

Defeated, I did as I was told. Grabbing my book bag and coat, I pushed my arms through the sleeves just as another waft of sausage aroma swept over me. Just one more, I thought to myself. What harm could one little sausage do?

Knowing everyone was elsewhere in the house getting ready, I walked over to the kitchen counter and reached. And reached. On tippy toes I could see them. However the dish was way out of reach. Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw something: a stool.

A small yellow stool just left of the refrigerator. Quickly, I dropped my book bag and grabbed the stool. Second grade may have not gotten me much height, but in smarts it had! Plopping the stool down in front of my soon-to-be treasure, I paused only for a moment to ensure I was alone.

Licking my lips, I stepped up onto the stool. Boy, was I tall now! And, more importantly, I could really see them!

Leaning into the counter I was almost there.

On tip toes, my fingers glanced the side of the dish.

Just a bit more...

I leaned and tip toed until I could touch one...

...and...

BAM!

With a sudden slip of foot on stool, I came crashing down onto the floor and landed on my wrist. I screamed. I cried. My mother ran into the room, soothed me and set me in the dining room with my wrist on ice. I watched as my mother paced back and forth, calling the doctor to find out what to do, every-so-often checking on me to see if I was ok.

And as much as she was not ok, I was. Yes, yes, I was in pain. This was the second time I broke my wrist in two years' time. But the pain had greatly diminished with my smile.

Why?

Because my loving and all knowing mother knew exactly what would make me happy and keep me calm: a nice plate of sausages...all to myself.

:)

Drawing Nipples on Barbie

Ok, so my two year old daughter was given a barbie. I already have qualms about her having barbies period, let alone at such an early age! But I digress... She has the doll, loves it, plays with it often, however, she is perplexed about Barbie's milkies (this is what we call them as they produce milk...hence, they are Milkies...another blog, another time...)

Getting back to my initial point, I'm just as perplexed as my daughter. Barbie has a pair of panties 'drawn' on, however no bra. So that would make one assume that her breasts are bare. So, my two year old's question is obvious: where are her nipples?

My daughter is smart. She knows what a woman's breasts are designed for: the making and distribution of milk to her child. Therefore, this doll's body - that has left very little to the imagination (aka, her curves, her disproportionate breasts) - begs the question: where are her nipples?

Yes, yes...it's a toy. I know. There are tons of toys all over the place and none of them are accurate (planes are missing landing gear, cars don't have engines, some dolls don't even have noses, let alone nipples.)

HOWEVER, and here may lie the real question: what is wrong with children learning anything real about their bodies? If Barbie is going to have a va va voom woman's body, then she should either:

• a) have a bra 'drawn' on like her panties, or
• b) have nipples on her exposed breasts

And why not? She has the breasts! If the makers are going to go as far as to give her them, then why not complete the anatomy lesson.

Honestly, I would have preferred my two year old daughter to be given Amamanta Dolls which are not only anatomically correct, they are also available multiculturally and offer an educational opportunity, especially when trying to explain the differences between good and bad touches...

So, outside of getting her an Amamanta Doll set for her upcoming third Birthday, I still have to decide if I'm going to fix Barbie's boobies.I mean, what's wrong with nipples and children learning that they have a purpose?

You know what I think? I think there is a real reason for no nipples on Barbie...

So kids grow into adults who think boobs are only for one thing, and one thing only...sex.

Only, sex isn't the only use for nipples, and THAT, my friend - no matter how hard you argue or complain or cry or yell or waffle - is the God's honest truth.

To draw or not to draw...

What do you think I should do?

Let Me Lead a Simple Life...Blissfully Beguiling...

"Everything's so simple, and we make everything so complicated. That's why we're confused."
~ Vickie Downey, TEWA/Tesuque Pueblo
The Creator designed a very simple set of Laws for us to follow. If we follow these simple things, we'll be happy. If we don't follow these simple things, our lives become complicated. For example: Respect Mother Earth Love one another Be truthful Give to your brother and sisters Be gentle with each other Be happy Following these simple Laws will have great rewards.

Great Spirit, let me lead a simple life.

taken from A Cherokee Feast of Days

33 Coming of the Leaves...

I have seen 33 coming of the leaves...33 snow melts...33 Springs...Today is my Birthday...
Each year we are alive, we receive many gifts. Challenges that make us who we are. Revelations to steer us in the right direction. Visions that show us the way. And each year we live makes us wiser, not just older. Wisdom is the best gift of all, and the longer you live, the more wisdom you gain.

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.” ~ Sandra Carey

So, today marks another year that I get to enjoy my life. And another chance to do something special for myself. Ever since I turned 30, I've given myself a Birthday gift of significance. Not anything that you can purchase in a store. Rather, something that I either do for myself that day or vow to do throughout the new year.

Last year, Birthday 32, I vowed to write my novel, to put myself first once in a while, and accomplish something that was indeed very special to me, my dream. And, through much delight and determination, I did it: beginning, middle, end.

My gift to myself at 31 was to take my health and my life into my own hands. To figure out what my 'mystery illness' was and get better! And I'm happy to report that I'm still alive - obviously ;) - found out what was wrong and am still working to fix it rather than cover it up as my good ol'doctor insisted I do (yes, yes...another blog, another day...).

Some years I do or vow to do something so private for myself that no one knows about it with the exception of me, myself, and I. That was my 30th Birthday present to myself. It was a very hard thing to do, something that was 14 years in the making, but I'm glad I finally did it. And, if my book ever gets published, you'll all know exactly what that gift to myself was! But you'll have to read the book to find out ;)

This year...33...

Well, I had a sad but important realization just this past weekend: I don't have many (if any) symbiotic friendships outside of my darling husband. And although most people don't even have that, I need to start surrounding myself with friends who put just as much effort into me as I put into them. I listen but seem to never be heard. I give and only give...and then give some more, only to be tuned-out the first moment I have something to say. Left the moment I do something I want to do.

I have no qualms in never having something returned to me. I'm a giver. That's what I do. However, I'm seeing more and more that if you only give and give and never receive, sooner or later you start giving away all that is you. Everyone deserves something in return, if only an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on.

So, this year, I vow to no longer be the doormat to friends. I've already tried to rid my life of drama and toxic people, and it worked and I'm healthier for it! Except, I feel as though I only worked in the family territory, thinking that my friends were toxin free. That is not the case.

"Love yourself first. Put yourself first. Don't sacrifice who you are for anybody or anything. Don't put yourself in the backseat; don't deny what you know your truth is. That's what makes you amazing, and beautiful, and rare and an individual. And it radiates out like the most beautiful light. And with loving yourself, you will attract people who love you back."
~ Kimberly Elise

If you don't put yourself first, no one will.

Happy Spring!

Ah, finally. The first day of Spring.

Usually I spend the day tending to my garden, pulling out all the old stuff, making a bonfire out of all the dead twigs and plants that, in turn, will amend my soil quite nicely for this Spring's plantings. However, per the request of my wonderful 5 year old, we are instead making a trip out to the beach.

And it's amazing just how quickly a 5 and 2 year old can get dressed and be ready to go out the door when they are excited about something. Bathing suits under their jeans and long sleeved shirts, they are ready to jump in! If they actually make it past the first freezing toe touch, the water barely above 40 degrees, they'll become members of the Polar Bear Club. I know they won't get in, but it's nice to make new traditions and see the excitement in their eyes.

The beach. Spring. The beginning of warmer days, playing outside, swimming in the big blue...