New Month, New Goals

Ok, I've dilly dallied long enough! Although I completed the first draft of the novel and gone through and done a first round of edits, I have yet to put them into the computer. Slacker that I am, I've been spending way too much time on facebook and mothering.com!

I did, however, solidify chapter one and I am excited about it! Instead of starting at the beginning and going all the way through to the end, I've decided that instead my MC (main character) is going to start at the beginning of her new journey - her quest - and right before she boards the plane she thinks back to the initial journey of the last year that has brought her to this point in life - the full circle. I'm still working on the past/present tense issue...so if anyone is good with grammar...help!!!

So...new month, new goals (and I'll post them here so I'm guilted into doing it on time!)

April Writing Goals:

1. fix POV change
   I initially wrote them in third person but, having written the rest of the book in first person POV, can see that the 1st person POV is so much better for this book. It's a personal story. Has to come from the horses mouth...
   
   
2. solidify chapters 1-5
   I have chapter 1 solidified, so I think this will be an easy one for me...however I'm also spring cleaning, planning out my spring garden, AND painting a baby's room...I might be aiming too high. But if I aim for 5 and only get 3 done, it will be better than aiming for 3 and only getting 1 done...KWIM? ;)
   
   
3. Let someone read it!
   Oh, the horror! I've let some of my online writer buddies read my fixed chapter one and it was very well received! So happy about that - AND they want to read chapter two! So that is promising. I must have done something right ;) HOWEVER...online friends are just that: online. I need to let someone read it that sees me often and that I can get actual feedback from: body language, eyerolls...that sort of thing. Then I'll know if my rave reviews were the real thing or just online fluff. (I was told that my grammar sucks and that I'm too in love with commas, so I'm thinking the nice words were just as sincere ;) However, if my mom reads it, I'll be sure to know the truth!

So, those are my goals for the month! Can't go back now. Doesn't seem like a whole lot to do, so I am going to stay positive and press on...oh, and stop going to my online social clubs first! I think that'll be the hardest to do since I've been stuck indoors all winter long and, well, I've got a bit hooked with yacking it up online with my fellow peeps ;)

The Sausage and the Stool

One morning long ago, I came downstairs dressed in my uniform ready for school when I smelled something wonderful: sausage. My mother had cooked up a batch and was about to set a plate of them onto the table. Eager, I propped myself up at the table. Fork in hand, ready to pounce.

"Now, now. Only two per person so we have some left for tomorrow," my mother lightheartedly - however seriously - warned me. Doing the calculation in my head, I deemed there to be more than enough sausages on the plate for everyone to have at least three, if not more. Why on Earth was my mother saving sausages? What good could come from not eating them right away?

When it was my turn, I took the two biggest sausage links that I could find and scarfed them down. Of course we had had scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast that morning too. But it wasn't enough. Those sausages - so plump, so juicy - were the crowning jewel!

Eyes growling along with my stomach, I watched as my brothers carelessly toyed with their portions. One even let a whole sausage link fall to the floor! Unfortunately, my mother cleared away their plates before I could attempt a steal-n-save of the remaining treat.

"Time to clean up, gotta leave for school soon," she said as she picked up the dish of leftover sausages and set it high up on the kitchen counter.

"Mom, can I please have one more? Just one?"

"No, because one will turn into two and before you know it we won't have any left! Now get your book bag and meet me out in the garage."

Defeated, I did as I was told. Grabbing my book bag and coat, I pushed my arms through the sleeves just as another waft of sausage aroma swept over me. Just one more, I thought to myself. What harm could one little sausage do?

Knowing everyone was elsewhere in the house getting ready, I walked over to the kitchen counter and reached. And reached. On tippy toes I could see them. However the dish was way out of reach. Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw something: a stool.

A small yellow stool just left of the refrigerator. Quickly, I dropped my book bag and grabbed the stool. Second grade may have not gotten me much height, but in smarts it had! Plopping the stool down in front of my soon-to-be treasure, I paused only for a moment to ensure I was alone.

Licking my lips, I stepped up onto the stool. Boy, was I tall now! And, more importantly, I could really see them!

Leaning into the counter I was almost there.

On tip toes, my fingers glanced the side of the dish.

Just a bit more...

I leaned and tip toed until I could touch one...

...and...

BAM!

With a sudden slip of foot on stool, I came crashing down onto the floor and landed on my wrist. I screamed. I cried. My mother ran into the room, soothed me and set me in the dining room with my wrist on ice. I watched as my mother paced back and forth, calling the doctor to find out what to do, every-so-often checking on me to see if I was ok.

And as much as she was not ok, I was. Yes, yes, I was in pain. This was the second time I broke my wrist in two years' time. But the pain had greatly diminished with my smile.

Why?

Because my loving and all knowing mother knew exactly what would make me happy and keep me calm: a nice plate of sausages...all to myself.

:)

Be Green & Save Green: LiveGreen's Spring Savings :)

50% at LiveGreen?!?! That's like free music to my frugal ears... ;)

The Multipurpose Bag
My most favorite eco-friendly shopping bags are on sale - I'm stocking up, and why not? Everyone deserves a good supply of durable reusable bags. And, since these bags have a wonderful green message on the front, I enjoy using them multipurposely: as a diaper bag, an overnight bag for the kids going to Grandma's, the all useful library bag, perfect for the Farmer's Market...and of course for food shopping too. And whenever I go to the big box stores, it's so much easier and continent for me to use a slew of these bags to transfer goods home rather in the myriad of cardboard boxes they provide.

Doubles As Gift Wrap
LiveGreen also carries an eco-friendly wine tote. It's so much nicer to use this when leaving the wine store than carrying home that paper wino-bag. Also, what I love to do with these bags is to use it as gift wrapping. Housewarmings, holiday parties. I purchase some good ol'local organic wine and put them in a wine tote that the host can keep and use!

Perfect Companion
LiveGreen's reusable produce bags are essential for going to the Farmer's Market and the grocery store. I don't have to bring home wonder fruit and veggies wrapped in plastic bags that'll clog up my fridge, recycle bin, or (dread) the landfill. These bags have endless uses, are reusable, and your food finds won't suffocate and go bad quickly. What's more, you're fridge, if you decide to leave your food in the bags, won't be filled with plastic wrap. These bags come in yellow and orange - I love festive colors ;)

I Love My SKOYs!
And last, but not least, is the Skoy - the eco-friendly cloth. My family uses the heck out of these invinsable cloths and they just keep on...working! Made from biodegradable material, this 7"x8" cloth will biodegrade in 5 weeks under composting conditions and is washer/dryer safe. We put ours in the washing machine AND the dishwasher whenever they need to be cleaned and none of them have started to breakdown in the year that we've had them.

Ok, going to go fold laundry now...had to pass on the sale info...happy spring savings! :)

Breastmilk is GREEN milk!

"Breastmilk is one of the few foodstuffs produced and delivered to the consumer without any pollution, unnecessary packaging or waste, whereas the production, shipping, and preparation of formula and bottles requires large amounts of water, fuel, glass, plastic and rubber -- and produces significant amounts of garbage." - www.breastfeeding.com

Breastfeed! Best for Baby, Mom, & Mother Earh!

Drawing Nipples on Barbie

Ok, so my two year old daughter was given a barbie. I already have qualms about her having barbies period, let alone at such an early age! But I digress... She has the doll, loves it, plays with it often, however, she is perplexed about Barbie's milkies (this is what we call them as they produce milk...hence, they are Milkies...another blog, another time...)

Getting back to my initial point, I'm just as perplexed as my daughter. Barbie has a pair of panties 'drawn' on, however no bra. So that would make one assume that her breasts are bare. So, my two year old's question is obvious: where are her nipples?

My daughter is smart. She knows what a woman's breasts are designed for: the making and distribution of milk to her child. Therefore, this doll's body - that has left very little to the imagination (aka, her curves, her disproportionate breasts) - begs the question: where are her nipples?

Yes, yes...it's a toy. I know. There are tons of toys all over the place and none of them are accurate (planes are missing landing gear, cars don't have engines, some dolls don't even have noses, let alone nipples.)

HOWEVER, and here may lie the real question: what is wrong with children learning anything real about their bodies? If Barbie is going to have a va va voom woman's body, then she should either:

• a) have a bra 'drawn' on like her panties, or
• b) have nipples on her exposed breasts

And why not? She has the breasts! If the makers are going to go as far as to give her them, then why not complete the anatomy lesson.

Honestly, I would have preferred my two year old daughter to be given Amamanta Dolls which are not only anatomically correct, they are also available multiculturally and offer an educational opportunity, especially when trying to explain the differences between good and bad touches...

So, outside of getting her an Amamanta Doll set for her upcoming third Birthday, I still have to decide if I'm going to fix Barbie's boobies.I mean, what's wrong with nipples and children learning that they have a purpose?

You know what I think? I think there is a real reason for no nipples on Barbie...

So kids grow into adults who think boobs are only for one thing, and one thing only...sex.

Only, sex isn't the only use for nipples, and THAT, my friend - no matter how hard you argue or complain or cry or yell or waffle - is the God's honest truth.

To draw or not to draw...

What do you think I should do?

Maple Corn Bread

The best...BEST! corn bread you will EVER eat...and, it's easy too ;)


what you need

• 1 cup plus 2 TABLESPOONS cornmeal
• 1 cup plus 2 TABLESPOONS whole wheat flour
• 1 TABLESPOON baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 egg beaten
• 1/2 cup maple syrup
• 3/4 cup of milk
• 3 TABLESPOONS melted shortening (bacon grease, coconut oil, or butter)

what you do

1. In a large bowl, mix together the cornmeal, wheat flour, baking powder, and salt.
2. Add the egg, maple syrup, milk and shortening.
3. Stir until WELL blended; DO NOT BEAT
4. Pour into a well greased 9 inch square pan or 12 greased muffin cups.
5. Bake in a preheated 400 degree oven for 20 minutes.

Serve with warm butter.

Music to my Ears...Jana Mashonee

One of my all time favorite artists is Jana.

Jana is brilliant: her voice is organic and her music and the messages therein are beautiful as well as useful. She bumped Gwen Stefani, Madonna, and U2 off of my top loves in music land, that's for sure...

Her new album New Moon Born was just released and I can't wait for my copy to get here! Totally bummed I didn't get to see her in DC at the Inaugural Ball (now where did I put that invitation...)

Here she is with Guitarist Derek Miller the their Indie music video A Change Is Gonna Come. I'd love to work with her on her next video...

Let Me Lead a Simple Life...Blissfully Beguiling...

"Everything's so simple, and we make everything so complicated. That's why we're confused."
~ Vickie Downey, TEWA/Tesuque Pueblo
The Creator designed a very simple set of Laws for us to follow. If we follow these simple things, we'll be happy. If we don't follow these simple things, our lives become complicated. For example: Respect Mother Earth Love one another Be truthful Give to your brother and sisters Be gentle with each other Be happy Following these simple Laws will have great rewards.

Great Spirit, let me lead a simple life.

taken from A Cherokee Feast of Days

33 Coming of the Leaves...

I have seen 33 coming of the leaves...33 snow melts...33 Springs...Today is my Birthday...
Each year we are alive, we receive many gifts. Challenges that make us who we are. Revelations to steer us in the right direction. Visions that show us the way. And each year we live makes us wiser, not just older. Wisdom is the best gift of all, and the longer you live, the more wisdom you gain.

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.” ~ Sandra Carey

So, today marks another year that I get to enjoy my life. And another chance to do something special for myself. Ever since I turned 30, I've given myself a Birthday gift of significance. Not anything that you can purchase in a store. Rather, something that I either do for myself that day or vow to do throughout the new year.

Last year, Birthday 32, I vowed to write my novel, to put myself first once in a while, and accomplish something that was indeed very special to me, my dream. And, through much delight and determination, I did it: beginning, middle, end.

My gift to myself at 31 was to take my health and my life into my own hands. To figure out what my 'mystery illness' was and get better! And I'm happy to report that I'm still alive - obviously ;) - found out what was wrong and am still working to fix it rather than cover it up as my good ol'doctor insisted I do (yes, yes...another blog, another day...).

Some years I do or vow to do something so private for myself that no one knows about it with the exception of me, myself, and I. That was my 30th Birthday present to myself. It was a very hard thing to do, something that was 14 years in the making, but I'm glad I finally did it. And, if my book ever gets published, you'll all know exactly what that gift to myself was! But you'll have to read the book to find out ;)

This year...33...

Well, I had a sad but important realization just this past weekend: I don't have many (if any) symbiotic friendships outside of my darling husband. And although most people don't even have that, I need to start surrounding myself with friends who put just as much effort into me as I put into them. I listen but seem to never be heard. I give and only give...and then give some more, only to be tuned-out the first moment I have something to say. Left the moment I do something I want to do.

I have no qualms in never having something returned to me. I'm a giver. That's what I do. However, I'm seeing more and more that if you only give and give and never receive, sooner or later you start giving away all that is you. Everyone deserves something in return, if only an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on.

So, this year, I vow to no longer be the doormat to friends. I've already tried to rid my life of drama and toxic people, and it worked and I'm healthier for it! Except, I feel as though I only worked in the family territory, thinking that my friends were toxin free. That is not the case.

"Love yourself first. Put yourself first. Don't sacrifice who you are for anybody or anything. Don't put yourself in the backseat; don't deny what you know your truth is. That's what makes you amazing, and beautiful, and rare and an individual. And it radiates out like the most beautiful light. And with loving yourself, you will attract people who love you back."
~ Kimberly Elise

If you don't put yourself first, no one will.

Happy Spring!

Ah, finally. The first day of Spring.

Usually I spend the day tending to my garden, pulling out all the old stuff, making a bonfire out of all the dead twigs and plants that, in turn, will amend my soil quite nicely for this Spring's plantings. However, per the request of my wonderful 5 year old, we are instead making a trip out to the beach.

And it's amazing just how quickly a 5 and 2 year old can get dressed and be ready to go out the door when they are excited about something. Bathing suits under their jeans and long sleeved shirts, they are ready to jump in! If they actually make it past the first freezing toe touch, the water barely above 40 degrees, they'll become members of the Polar Bear Club. I know they won't get in, but it's nice to make new traditions and see the excitement in their eyes.

The beach. Spring. The beginning of warmer days, playing outside, swimming in the big blue...

The Joy of Coming Out of the Closet...

Back when I was in the closet, secretly writing behind closed doors, I would never dare let anyone in on my daydreams. I thought you couldn't call yourself a real writer without having had published something in print so that people could purchase it at Borders or on Amazon.com.

However, and thankfully so, it is not true. Like a good writer buddy of mine has penned, "A writer does not suddenly become a writer the day his book is published. That happens the first time pen is put to paper and something is created on the page."

Yet, the moment you revile yourself to the world as a writer, standing tall, standing proud, you almost instantly are bombarded with others who thought just as you did. Don't let this cause you to slink back in your hole. You're out now! You're free! And you're freaking out!!!

You need back up.
Someone who thinks like you and works like you and is on the verge of going back into their own closet.

You need a writer buddy.
Or many writer buddies! Not only is there stregnth in numbers, there is a lot to learn from each other. I found many of my writer buddies online at Motheringdotcomune's Mothers Writer Group. There we share what we've written, help critique eachother's work, give a little push here, a hug there, and just share in the joy in writing...or the craziness that comes from it!

I also have a few family writer buddies who were instrumental in pulling me out of my writer's closet. And thankfully so. I couldn't imagine what I'd be doing with all my pent up creative juices if I wasn't working on my novel or blogging... Trying my hand at music theater again? I've always dreamed of dancing on Broadway... And I do love to paint, however with the economy the way it is, most people are trying to make ends meet rather than paying for creative touches to their homes.

With two little ones in tow, writing seems to be a much easier dream to realize. And it's such a joy to have the company of other moms trying to accomplish the same task: write...oh, and keep sane, cook dinner, clean the house, shuttle kids to and from places, keep sane, write, keep hubby happy, stay sane, clean house, write, clean the bathroom floor for the 3rd time this week, do laundry, stay sane...write...

How Wise is Your Tea?

I started drinking Yogi Tea and it has changed my life! My cycle has always been out of whack, but in the recent months it had gone from bad to worse. Within one day of drinking this tea I was no longer possessed by the hormonal demons that were taking over my life, ruining my marriage, and causing me to go completely insane, one week out of every month...phew!

What a relief to find a holistic remedy, something that worked, worked fast, and is safe to use (as opposed to hormonal treatments, drugs, and surgeries). I have lived through too many years of that sort of treatment that I know better know - doctors are still practicing medicine. They don't always know the best course of action to take in all situations.

Plus, the tea bags have these little tags with insightful messages on them. My two favorites are:

...A relaxed mind is a creative mind...

...Bliss cannot be disturbed by gain or loss...

Warm tea, uplifting yogi sayings, and I'm not a crazy woman anymore. This is a good thing!

:)

Good Lovin'...Part 2: Open Your Mouth!

Ok, here we go... Good Lovin'...Part 2...

The other day in Good Lovin'...Part 1, we learned that getting rid of distractions can lead to better sex. However, removing the obvious distractions from the bedroom is only the beginning in removing all the toxic distractions from your relationship. What we need to do is remove all the things that create the shadows, clouding our view, darkening our chances for a more intimate relationship. We need to open our mouths and be open with eachother...

Now, now...Don't go running away just yet!

This is truly an important part of every relationship. And it's even more important to be able to talk openly and honestly with the one you have relations with... There's no better sex to be had than that sex with someone you can truly be yourself.

You can say what you want to, need to, and they not only return the favor, but don't run away or laugh in your face. It's totally freeing to be with someone that knows you, inside and out, and still they love you - like you - and still want to be with you.

It's totally mind blowing to be in such a relationship. The result: mind blowing sex! Yes, it's there, you just have to do the work.

And the work is tough. I know, I've been there.

You either grew up in a household that didn't talk openly and freely about your feelings or found that people withdrew from you when you did, so you learned to close yourself off to others, pretending to be someone you weren't just to keep the peace and keep everyone around you happy...

And then there are those of us that have been in abusive relationships, learning that sometimes, those who were closest to us were not people whom we could openly trust. Therefore we learned to further close ourselves off, escaping from our realities, trying to make everyone around us happy, expecting that, in turn, it would make us happy...

Only, it doesn't. And it never will. You can't make everyone and everything around you perfect and happy. It just can't be done. The only person you can make happy is yourself. Period. You can't change anyone either, for that matter. Only you can change you.

But we're talking about a relationship here, something that happens between two people. This is where the task becomes doubly-hard because open and honest communication cannot be one-sided. There has to be a constant and consistent effort from both sides to make it work. If one person is still not giving up the ghost: still keeping their feelings to themselves, hiding their emotions, not sharing their opinions, not talking about their doubts, not sharing nor following their dreams, there will never be the freeing experience that is necessary for self-expression.

Picture this...
You're in bed/on the couch/on top of the washer-dryer/on the kitchen counter top/on the dinning room table/in the back of the car/(insert your favorite 'get busy' spot here), cranking up the heat, getting your groove on, gettin' busy...and all around you are these things, all this unfinished business. Instead of bouncing around with your lover, you have all these things bouncing around in your head.

...Did he notice how much that comment hurt my feelings?
...She never apologies for anything...why?
...Why don't we talk anymore? We used to be so open with eachother...

These questions, looming around in the room, get in the way of true intimacy, true freedom. If you want to have better sex, it only comes with the high price of total disclosure. And honestly, what have you got to loose? Someone that you can't talk to? Someone you are afraid will leave you if they find out where your true passions lie? Why would you want to be with someone like that? Don't you deserve a wonderful relationship with someone who not only gets you, loves you unconditionally, but actually still wants to be with you, because they enjoy knowing you and getting to know what you're all about?

Think on these things for a while...


Then try this following exercise:
Read these following words, out loud, very, very s-l-o-w-l-y...

OPEN YOUR MOUTH

How did that feel? Do it again, and this time REALLY open your mouth, magnifying each and every syllable.

OPEN YOUR MOUTH

That is exactly what you have to do from now on if you want a better life, better relationships, better sex: Opening your mouth.

No more secrets. No more hiding your dreams in the closet. No more wondering.

Share your ideas!

Talk about your dreams and your aspirations!
Ask all the questions that pop up in your mind!
What have you got to loose?

It's up to you to start the conversations.

Get to work!


oh, and stay tuned for Good Lovin'...Part 3: Secret Indulgences...